Impossible Choice
by Sasha Stevens
Summary: When the daughter of a Redwood Orignal Nine comes home to burry her father, she is forced with several of life's impossible choices, will she perserve? How will she handle being in the midst of this new family. I don't own any of the SOA characters.
1. Chapter 1

Rain. I watched it hit the window and drip down to the chipped paint on window sill. It was the perfect accessory to the day's occasion. I felt numb and wasn't sure why. I should have been in pain, I should have been distraught. I should have some form of devastation, but yet there was nothing. It was confusing and frustrating.

In a few hours I would be surrounded by people who would pity me, they would bombard me with sentiment and condolences, and yet all I could think about was numb I was.

The sound of the rain outside and the stillness in the house was soothing. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what the next few hours and the rest of the day would bring me. I silently said a prayer that the emotion would kick in.

I looked at the little black dress laid out on the bed, and wished I would have packed something more appropriate, but when I got the call, I grabbed only a few things and headed to the airport. I knew there was nothing inappropriate about the one laying on the bed, but right now, nothing was good enough…not even me.

And it begins….

I sat there, with my father laying in a wooden box before me, beautiful flowers draped over it, I watched as everyone took their spots and still there was nothing…until I hear the familiar roar of engines fill the air, and suddenly I felt alive.

I didn't have to turn around to know they were there, I knew they would be, but honestly, I wasn't sure if they would come. I knew my father was important to them, but it had been a while since he had been apart of the club actively for a couple of years. But in my time away had forgotten that once you are family, you are always family.

The service ended, and people dropped their flowers on the coffin, gave me their speeches of condolences and headed off for the free food and drinks at dad's favorite bar. I knew they wouldn't come to me at the funeral; they were private like that, set in their ways. Which I respected, I was brought up the same way. But I knew that was not the last time I would see them.

After hours of trying to be pleasing and then helping to clean up the place, I headed back to my father's house. The house was surrounded with all of the flower arrangements that had been sent in from everywhere, chapters all over the us sent their thoughts and prayers. It was touching to see how much they loved him still, after all these years.

I couldn't bare to turn the lights on, I knew it would only make the feeling of solitude of the house would intensify. I walked carefully into the bedroom to change, I suddenly got knots in my stomach and a chill went down my back as faced the closet.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked in a very monotone voice. I knew they would come.

"Not long, you okay?" He asked. His voice was warm and for the first time since I got back it made me feel like I was home.

"I honestly don't know." I said as I sat down on the bed, my back still facing him. After being numb and not feeling anything, there was this rush of emotion that hit me and to say it was overwhelming is an understatement.

"You need anything?" He asked sweetly, he always did have a big heart. Even when we were kids, he always looked out for me and Opie before himself.

"You know all day, I have been waiting to feel something, been waiting to realize that it's just me…" And for whatever reason, I broke down as I saw him come in front of me and kneel down and looked at me with those warm blue eyes. "You know when mom died, things were really hard, and being shipped off because dad was inside, but it was like in the back of my mind, or at least what I told myself was that 'I still had my dad..' but Jax, now I don't have my mom, I don't have my dad, I don't have anyone, I am alone." I tried to stop the tears, but they had their own agenda as they fell freely from my eyes down my cheeks and off my face, it wasn't until I felt him embrace me that I truly lost and let go and openly cried. And what made it worse was the smell of him. Oil, exhaust, and leather…just like my dad.

"Hey, look at me." He said as I pulled away and wiped away at my eyes. I was hesitant at first but eventually did. "You are not alone, and you never will be. We are here for you." He said with more conviction then I had seen in a while from anyone.

I had no words, I wanted to believe him, I wanted to fall into the comfort of the club and know that no matter what I would be taken care of, but something stopped me. I had been gone from Charming for so long; I had no way of being confident that with the death of my father I would still be taken care of.

"Come on, get changes and we'll head over, everyone's waiting for you." He said smiling at me, I wanted to smile back but suddenly I was feeling everything all at once and I couldn't muster a smile in that moment if it was drawn across my face. I nodded and got up and tried to unzip my dress by myself, I was about to call out and ask for some help, when I felt his warm hands on the exposed skin on my back and it sliding down the zipper to my dress.

"Thanks," I said unsure of what to think at that moment.

"No problem, I'll be out here." He said smiling and then walking to the door. I was pulling off the dress when he came back in. I should have scurried to find something to cover myself, just being in a bra and underwear, but I didn't have the strength and part of me knew it was just Jacks, there was no reason to.

"Ronnie," He paused and I just started at him, the longer I stayed under his gaze the more I started to feel uncomfortable.

"Jax?" I muttered quietly.

"It's good to have you home…you look…real good." He said almost blushing and that threw me off. I had known Jackson Teller since we were 5 years old, and never in my life had I seen him blush.

"Thanks Jax." I said trying to smile, but failed. I quickly put on a pair of jeans and one of dad's old SAMCRO t-shirts and headed out to the living room where Jax was looking at old photos.

"You ready?" He asked and put the photo album down.

"As ready as I am gonna be." I said taking a deep breath; I was nervous and feeling sick to my stomach about walking back into the club house. I hadn't been there in almost 20 years. I locked up and walked down to Jacks bike. He handed me the helmet and I put it on. I hopped on the bike on the seat behind him.

"Hold on." He said over the motor and over his shoulder to me.

"I'll be fine." I yelled back, and before I could fight with him, he grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his torso.

"Move your hands off me before we get there, and I will tell Clay and Opie about the time you snuck out of the house to meet up with Drew Mcallister and went swimming at the lake for 4 hours." Jax said with a wide grin.

"You do know they call that black mail, don't you?" I asked as I hated how good his memory was, and probably always would be.

"Is there any other kind?" He asked and then kicked up his stand and we headed off for the club, I found my self holding on tighter and tighter to Jax as we got closer and closer, not knowing how to handle what was about to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

We pulled into the garage and club house and you could hear the music and people from outside, I used to spend every waking moment here when we weren't in school. I loved this place; I loved hanging out with all of the guys and all of the bikes. There were so many god memories here it was overwhelming me.

I got off the bike and put the helmet back on the handle bars and walked in the same direction as Jax but I was quite a distance behind him I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the reaper on the door.

"You coming?" He asked seeing that I was having a harder time with this. When I didn't respond, he walked towards me. "What's wrong?"

If that wasn't the twenty million dollar question of the day. And even if I knew which one of the answers swirling around in my head was the right one I don't know if I could ever really answer it.

"Jax, it's been a really long time…" I started out as I looked passed him and everywhere but at him.

"I know, and that's why as unfortunate as this reunion is, it's a really good one to have you back." Jax trying to catch my wondering eyes.

"I don't know if this is where I belong anymore. I mean when dad was….I mean it made sense me being here and all, it made sense for me to belong. Without dad here, is this really where I belong?" I questioned finally able to look him in the face and say it. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I didn't want to hear the answer if it was going to turn out that I didn't really belong here, or if I was just really lost, either way I couldn't go in there without some kid of reassurance that this was the way that it was supposed to be.

"I know stuff is real hectic and messed up right now, I get that, but if there is one thing and one thing only that you are ever confident about, it's that this will always and forever be your home. Ronnie, Red was one of the original Nine. Your dad, my dad, and Opie's dad practically built this club and this place. If there is anyone that actually BELONGS here, it's you, me and Opie." Jax said reaching for my hand. I hated when he was right, but he did always have a way of talking to me to make me see what was there that I never could see. I took his hand and we walked to the door and went in.

I tired to hide behind Jax as much as I could as we walked through the door. And I did try and pull my hand from his to make a run for it, and he tightened his grip.

"LOOK WHO FOUND HER WAY HOME BOYS!" Jax said bringing my up to stand next to him. I felt all eyes on me, but was relieved when I saw smiles too. There was a great roar with yelling and soon I was being swept up by the guys and getting hugs.

"Okay, Okay, get out of the way…" I heard in an all too familiar voice. The crowd of familiar faces parted and there they were the two people that were more like parents to me then my own.

"My god, you grew up…" He said as he scooped me up in his big frame. The hug was firm and emotional for both of us. "Missed you kiddo." He whispered in my ear.

"Missed you too Clay." I said swallowing down the tears. He looked the same but just older. When he put me down and stepped out of the way, I was able to see her, and she looked radiant.

"Baby…" She said as the tears gathered in her eyes. I rushed into them and just enjoyed the feeling of her holding me. "Welcome home baby." Was all she kept telling me.

"ALL THE FAMILY IS HERE….LET'S DRINK!" Clay yelled and the crowd of bikers that were now my family exploded.

"Come here, I have people you haven't met yet." Clay said taking me from Gemma and leading me away. I saw Jacks walk over to her and placing a kiss on her cheek before following to where Clay was leading me. I was lead to a room and stood there under Clay's arm and watched as men came in the room, most of them I knew and some I didn't. Bobby was the last one in and closed the door behind him.

"Most of you know who this is, this is the daughter I always wanted and if anyone asks me she is one to me, and Ronnie, this is a place not many women see, but you are special and we all wanted you to be apart of this. Now for the newer brothers, Ronnie, this is Juice, he is my computer wiz and just a really good kid. Juice, this is Veronica, but we call her Ronnie." Clay said as I walked up to him and shook his hand.

"Welcome home Ronnie, your dad was one of my heroes." Juice said with a smile that lit up the whole room. I thanked him and we moved on.

"Now this man, is not really new, but he used to be with a chapter up in Nevada and has now come to be a part of ours, your dad and him were really good buddies, Ronnie this is Happy, Happy…" Clay said as we shook hands.

"You might not remember this, but we have met before. You were maybe 2 or 3 and your dad and mom had just gotten hitched and I was at the reception. You look like your mother." He said as he shook her hand and smiled.

"And this, is our prospect, we call him Half sack, pretty sure you know why…" Clay said as we smiled at each other but I knew better then to try and shake his hand. Prospects weren't allowed to touch family members without being given permission and Clay made that clear it wasn't happening.

"And I believe you know this guy…" Clay said as I hugged Trigger.

"You look good kid, glad your back. So sorry about the old man, he meant a lot to all of us." He said as he let me go.

"And Bobby, and old man you know….and now comes the important part. Now, it's never happened before in the history or clubs anywhere to have a woman apart of the council, but I think we can all agree that you are special, and so was your dad. So, see that chair next to Jax?" He asked me, I saw the empty chair and my heart sank all the way into my stomach.

"That's yours; we want you to take your father's place. You won't be allotted the all of the same rights as the rest of us, but you will get full rights when it comes to voting and other matters, but it's at our discretion." Jax explained as he reached out for me and brought me over to the chair. It was hard to believe what I was just told, or the fact that they were asking me to take my dad's place….it was all too much.

"This isn't necessary, really. This should go another member…" I stammered.

"I hate to break this to you, but you always have been and always will be a member of this club." Clay said smiling before he kissed my cheek and pulled out the chair. My heart started to race and all I could think to do was run, run until my legs gave up.

"Ronnie… Veronica…" I heard Jax say my name and I looked up to him with tears in my eyes.

"It's time you take your place. It's okay…" Jax said as he slowly pulled my into my father's spot at the table.

"Good?" Clay asked puffing on his cigar. I took a deep breath.

"We're good, thank you." I said as everyone cheered in acceptance.

"Okay, now we party!" Juice said as he bounded out of the room, where all of us followed. Just before I left the door, I grabbed Jax's arm and pulled him back.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"Where's Opie?" I asked not seeing him yet and he was one of the only others I wanted to see. It had been a long time and he and Jax were like my other halves.

"He'll be here in a little bit. Come on, let's get you a drink." He said as he pulled me out to the car and what should have been one shot, turned out to be three shots. Thank god for Gemma pulling me over to a table with her and Clay or things could have gotten out of hand.

"Ronnie, there is something I have been waiting a long time to say to you, and I want to say it now, before anymore time goes by without me saying it." Clay said as he grabbed my hand. I was a little scared, but I didn't let it show, because by now I was very tipsy and hiding the nerves under the drinks. I waited patiently as Gemma and Clay swapped looks between the two of them, but I waited patiently.

"Hey, Jax, come here." Juice signaled over to his vice president. Jacks nodded and headed over to the bar where Juice and chips were seated. He came over and saw what they were looking at. It was Clay, Gemma and Ronnie talking at a table, he smiled at the reunion.

"Having a good time boys?" He asked as he took a fresh beer from the prospect who was bartending.

"We need some clarification on something…" Chips said in his cheeky scotch accent. Jax smiled at the combination of slurring and accent.

"What's that?" He said smiling back.

"What do you think Clay would do if someone from the club was interested in Ronnie?" Juice said smiling through his drunken stupor. The question took him by surprise. He looked over at her as she talked with his mom and step father. He couldn't help but notice that she was different now, besides the fact she had grown out of that awkward tom boy phase, she had curves and a body now, and she wasn't just a cute younger sister type to him. You would have to be blind or in denial not to see how beautiful she was. Tan Skin, dark brown eyes and brown hair. But she was like his best friend.

"I wouldn't go there, not if you want to remain a member. Clay loves that girl as I do, like family. She was always the daughter he was never able to have. So I would say off limits…unless you don't like your third leg where it currently is. Now those girls on the other hand, are all free game and are dying for some Samcro." Jax said patting them on the back. They all looked over to the girls that were practically naked waving at them. Jacks on the other hand went over and took a seat at the table where Clay, his mother and Ronnie were.


	3. Chapter 3

"What is it Clay?" I asked not sure where this was going, and I was having a hard time focusing as more drinks had arrived at the table.

"That day…in the court room, when they denied us adopting you after your mom passed…" He started.

"Clay, that wasn't your fault. I don't blame you. I never did and never will. Politics is what happened in that court room. They knew you were Samcro, and they thought they knew who you and Gemma were based on that, they didn't care that you cared about me, if that is what my parents would have wanted to me go. They saw you were one of the originals from the club and they made up their mind before we evens stepped in that court room, there was nothing you or me, or Gemma, or even dad at the time could have done to stop that." I said trying not to cry. I knew how badly they felt that they lost the custody battle for me. It was a long fight that I knew they spent a lot of money on.

"Still, we should have come after you. You were family and we let them just take you away…I'm so sorry about that, but I bet you this, that will never happen again. No person or thing will ever take you from us again, not over my dead body that is." Clay said putting what seemed to be so small hand in between his two massive one.

"Well that will not happen again because I am an adult and am allowed to make my own decisions, but I understand Clay and I appreciate that." I said smiling back at him, I saw the tears in his eyes and felt the need to divert the conversation. "And that court room is also the reason I became a lawyer, to divert and fight all of the political bull that they still try and pull these days." I watched as all of them took a minute to process what I had just told them.

"Wait what?" Jax said finally hearing what I just said.

"I passed the bar last year and have been a pretty impressive in the court room ever since. And I know that lawyers cost a pretty penny in these smaller towns, so if it's okay with you, I would like to take on all Legal stuff for the club, and I won't charge you ridiculous retainers. I would be fighting for you and the club because this is my family, and you and Jax always taught me, no one messes with family. Please let me do this for you." I pleaded. It was true, over the years Clay and Gemma had always been there for me, before I was sent away. Anything and everything I needed they gave me. Especially when my dad went away and my mom got real sick.

"Do you believe this? Our little Ronnie is a lawyer?" Clay said looking to Gemma, I looked over at her too and she looked like she was going to burst from pride. Then they both looked over to Jax and they all agreed.

"I think we need refills…" Clay said as he looked at Gemma and both Jaxs and were grossed out.

"What?" Clay asked.

"You guys are still using "refills" as your code word for sex? God you guys were doing that when we were kids…" I said burying my head in my arms on the table. I as soon as I put my head down though, the room started to spin and I didn't feel so good. I looked up and Jaxs could tell.

"You okay?" He asked putting down his beer.

"I think I need some fresh air…" I said getting up and stumbling little. I could have caught myself, but Jaxs reached out and helped.

"Come on, I 'll go with you." He said helping me outside. As soon as the cooler night air hit my face I instantly felt better. I grabbed a seat on top of the picnic table that was outside of the club.

"Better?" He asked as she rubbed my back lightly.

"Yeah, amazing what a little fresh air will do." I said taking some deep breaths. I looked over and Jaxs was grinning at me.

"What?" I asked as he shook off the smile.

"Nothing, just glad you're finally home. It's been a long time Ronnie…it's good to see you." He said putting his arm around my neck.

"Hey how is Tara? You guys still going strong?" And I wasn't sure why but I suddenly felt bad for asking the question as I saw the look on his face. It was one of pain and intolerable loneliness.

"Um, Tara actually moved away to Chicago last year…" He said as he cleared his throat so his voice wouldn't crack.

"Oh Jesus, Jackson I am sorry, I didn't know…" I said smacking my forehead in stupidity; I should have asked Gemma before saying anything. They were hot and heavy from what I found out from Gemma through a few letters we would send every couple of years. She would send me pictures and news on the club and Jacks and Opie.

"It's okay, I mean it's been hard, but moving on…" He said no longer looking her in the eye.

"I may have been gone for a long time Jackson Teller, but I still know when you are lying to me…but if you don't want to talk about it, I understand." I said putting my hand on his arm. It felt natural between us, like no time had been lost and I was just sitting there being there for my best friend, it was amazing.

"I just feel empty you know, like no matter how many girls I sleep with, no matter who I try to be with, it's just empty and lonely." He tried to explain. I could see the pain of her absence in his face and I suddenly wanted to punch Tara in the face.

"Jacks, she was your first love…of course you are going to be empty with out her, and you can keep trying to beat Bobby's record for women, but no matter who you find, they will never be Tara…" I said slurring through my own advice.

"Well are you just a ray of sunshine." He said laughing off the pain.

"It's the truth, until you can find a way to let her and the love you had for her go, it will always be like that…" I said laying my head on his shoulder as things started to spin.

"So I am just supposed to forget about her?" He asked with offense in his tone.

"No, not ever forget her, but you have to forgive her for hurting you and move on…when you are ready to let her and what you had go." I said getting down off the table and touching the ground.

"How did you get so smart?" He asked almost laughing at me as I laid down on the concrete to feel the coolness on my face.

"Life experiences Jaxs, they are a pain in the butt but come in handy to help others." I said closing my eyes.

"I think it's about time to take you home." Jaxs said as he went to get Gemma. She hardly ever drank and he wasn't wasted but he did have drinks and wasn't sure if he should take her on his bike. When he couldn't find her, he knew that she and Clay were still getting their "refills."

Just as he was going to suck it up and take her home Opie came through the door.

"Who left their chick outside on the ground?" He asked after hugging his brother.

"Chick? That's no chick brother…that's Ronnie." Jaxs said holding in his laughter or at least trying too anyway. The look on Opie's face and the combined drinks, Jaxs couldn't hold in his laughter anymore.

Opie turned on his heels and went back outside, and saw her running her finger over the pavement.

"What did you do to her?" Opie said smiling.

"Nothing, just drinks." Jacks said smiling too.

"Opie? Is that you?" Ronnie said looking up at a man that had Opie's face but it was covered in hair.

"Little Ronnie, looks like you still can't handle your liquor…" He said smiling down at her, she had definitely changed; she was grown up and beautiful.

"Looks like you lost your razor…you can borrow mine, don't worry I won't tell anyone it's pink." And Ronnie immediately burst into laughter, and she had a laugh and a smile that was contagious.

"I think it's time we take you home." Opie said looking between his only two best friends as they both laughed like fools.

"NO! Op, I don't wanna go back to Dad's, can't I just sleep here…it's cool, and it's got a great view." She said serious as stone. There was sadness in her voice that got to him.

"I'll take her to my place; Donna wanted to see her anyway." Opie said as he put on arm behind his head and hoisted her up on her shoulders.

"You know I was thinking, since I have been drinking too, why don't you just take both of us to my house, and I will watch her tonight. I know you have to work in the morning and with the kids and all." Jacks said making sense, and as much as Opie hated it he knew it was the smarter choice.

"Yeah, I suppose now that she is back there is no rush to have to catch up." Opie said as he motioned for Jacks to follow him to his truck.

"Oh, mom decided to do a big family bbq at their house tomorrow night for Ronnie, bring Donna and the kids." Jacks said as he helped Opie put Ronnie in the truck, by this time she passed out.

"Thanks man." Opie said as they laid her on Jax's bed.

"I can't believe this is her." Opie said shaking his head.

"I know, I still remember her as this skinny little tom boy, it's a little weird to see her all grown up." Jaxs admitted as he took off her shoe and threw a blanket over here.

"You sure you are all good with her staying here?" Opie asked again feeling guilty for missing most of the party, and then not being able to take her to his house.

"It's all good brother, I'll see you tomorrow." Jaxs said as he walked Opie out to his truck and watched him pull away.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to all of you who have read my fic so far, really would love some feedback, any feedback would be great as long as it is constructive

Disclaimer: I don't own SOA or any of the characters.

I woke up abruptly to the blaring sound of a firm alarm; I shot straight up in bed, and quickly held my head as it felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer. I hear something crash, it sounded like pots and pans.

I looked around a little and noticed I was at Jax's house, don't remember how I got here, but it's good to know he watched out for me.

I slowly and carefully got out of bed and headed down the narrow hallway until I reached the kitchen, which was full of smoke, and Jaxs…trying to cook.

"You're cooking?" I asked astounded, Jax had been catered to his whole life, he barely knew how to make toast, Gemma spoiled him rotten and being that he was her only son, everyone understood.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" He asked smiling at her.

"Oh no, I always wake up to the sounds of blaring smoke detectors going off." I said snidely, and went for coffee which I saw was brewing on the counter, looked like a fresh pot.

"I made Eggs, bacon, hash browns and was gonna do the toast next…." I heard his list off the food that was the combination of all the smells that were filling my nose and before I knew it my stomach was rejecting whatever was in it from last night. I ran for the bathroom. I made it just in time. I felt Jax pull my hair back and hold it for me as I continued to relive what I ate and drank the night before. 

"I'll get you some water, here is a towel." He said smirking.

"I'm so glad that after all this time, I can still entertain you." I said thanking goodness my stomach seemed to be settling down.

"Do you remember that time at Opie's parent's house…" I heard Jacks start to relive the story, and I knew that any of them that started like that were going to be embarrassing for me.

"Let's not go down the stupid things I have done at Opie's house…" I said as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall behind me.

"You gonna be okay?" Jax asked. I could see the concern on his face and I wanted to reassure him and make him feel better, but honestly the jury was still out on that answer.

"I'll live. Can you bring me home? I have a million and one things to get done there." I asked as he slowly helped me to my feet.

"Yeah, get dressed and I will meet you in the living room." He said kissing my forehead and left me in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and cursed myself as I looked exactly how I felt, like hell.

I got dressed and Jax brought me back to my dad's house. It took me a moment to get off the back of the bike, I looked at the house I grew up in and really had no desire to go in.

"I'll catch you later Jax?" I said handing him his helmet.

"Yeah, be at mom's at 8:00 for the bbq or you know the whole club will show up and escort you." He said grinning from ear to ear. I gave him a hug and made my way up to the front door, unlocked it and went in.

"Why does Gemma feel the need to throw a party for everything? I mean I thought that is what last night was for?" I said holding my forehead.

"You're her only daughter, your lucky she is letting you live here." Jax said and I hated the truth behind it. If Clay and Gemma had any say I would be relocated to their house immediately.

"Point taken." I said and waved as he pulled off and headed to where I assumed would be the club.

I grabbed a shower and went in the kitchen to see if there was anything for food, I was kinda of hungry, but there was no way I was eating Jax's experimental cooking. And just as I suspected, there was nothing. I threw on some jeans and a tank top and grabbed my bag, grabbed the keys to my dad's Monte Carlo, and headed out to the garage. I needed to go get food and had dropped my rental car off the day before.

I got in and turned the key and the engine wouldn't turn over. So I tried again and it started up and then died.

"Nice." I said to my self as I threw my head back on the head rest. I closed my eyes and knew what I had to do.

I popped the hood and started working away and what I knew the problem was. I wasn't sure how long I had been under the hood, but I was trying to losen some bolts on the carburetor so that I could see what was wrong with it, I had music blaring out of my dad's old stero and didn't hear the roar of Jax's motor cycle pull in the driveway. The volume of the music went down and I could tell by while tennis shoes that it was Jax, he was the only biker I knew that didn't follow suit and wear Harley boots.

"What the hell are you doing?" I could tell he was smiling and finding the humor in me under a car.

"Baking a cake, what does it look like?" I said back as I moved to the next bolt.

"Why didn't you bring it into the shop?" He asked crouching down next to where I was under the car.

"Kinda hard to do that when the engine won't even turn over. Dad must have let this sit for a long time. The battery and the carburetor are shot." I said pushing myself out from under the car, I sat up and grabbed a rag to wipe off my hands.

"I'll call the shop and have sack come over and pick it up with the flat bed, where were you headed?" He asked knowing the only way she would have known the car was out of commission was she was planning on going some where.

"Just some errands, there is nothing in that house…wait, what are you doing back here?" I asked knowing that there had to be business to be done, and things at the shop to be done.

"To let you know that the club is having church tonight before we all go over to mom's. Looks like you will be riding with me." Jax said knowing I hated depending on people.

"Maybe I should just go back and get a rental until the boys can fix her." I said thinking out loud.

"Is riding with me that bad?" He asked more offended than anything else.

"Oh give me a break, you know I hate depending on other people for stuff, just like the freedom of not having to ask anyone for something." I said shoving him a little. I saw as he lighted up a little, but it still looked like it bothered him.

"Whatever happened to Red's bike?" He asked and suddenly I had knots in my stomach and a lump in my throat. I didn't want him to know, but he deserved the truth.

"Um, after he got home from prison, there were all the bills from mom's hospital bills and he was behind on everything all the bills, so he went to Vegas and tried to win some money to help with the problems because the bank was threatening to take the house, he lost in it a high stakes poker game to some local guy who won with an impossible hand. Broke his heart. I didn't hear from him a whole lot after that." I said trying not to lose my composure as I told the story.

"Why didn't he say anything? The club would have helped him…" Jax said angry about it. He personally helped Red tune and fix up that bike, he knew how much of labor of love that bike was to Red and to him.

"You know dad, pride before anything else. Plus he knew that asking for help he would want to pay it back and he didn't know when or if he could ever do that, without coming back into the club and fifteen years behind bars was enough." I said sitting down next to Jax on the stool. He pulled out his cell and called into the shop and told Sack where to come to pick up the car and that it was priority.

"Maybe I should just buy a new car…" I said thinking more out loud then asking for permission.

"Or you could tell me who he lost the bike to and I will get it back." Jax said meaning every word of his statement. And I knew what that meant, and as much as I knew my dad would be so happy that the bike would be back with the club where it belonged, I wasn't sure murder or assault was the right way to make that happen.

"So what now?" I asked defeated and desperately trying to change the subject. Jax just chuckled and shook his head.

"You go wash up and I will take you over to the shop and you let Gemma take you shopping for whatever you need, it will be good for the both of you." Jax said pushing me off the stool towards the house.

I went in and washed my hands and made my way out to where Jax was waiting, he had grabbed my bag and closed up the garage. I got on the bike and we headed to the shop as Sack got to dad's and pulled in to the drive way to load the car.

"Now this is the kind of surprise I like, what are you doing here?" Gemma said greeting us as we pulled up to the office of the garage.

"Dad's Monte Carlo is having some issues, Jax is having it towed here to have the guys fix it, but I need to run a few errands before tonight, will you take me?" I asked her as enjoyed the embrace and she walked me in the office.

"Well as you can see I am swamped here, but here you take my car and just meet me back here in a hour and I will just bring you home after the bbq." And even if I wanted to refuse her I would hear about it. So I decided to take the easy way out.

"Thanks Gemma, I'll replace the gas. I'll meet you back here in about an hour?" I asked her as she pulled me into another hug.

"Don't worry about the gas, and yes baby I will be here." She said as she kissed my forehead and handed me the keys.

"HEY! Look who stopped by!" We heard as Clay came out of the club house with Bobby and saw us, I walked half way to meet them.

"Hey Clay, hi Bobby." I said greeting them both with hugs.

"What are you doing here? Finally come to work for me?" Clay said looking down to see Gemma's keys in my hand.

"I wish, Dad's is out of commission, and I have some errands to run before church and dinner tonight….by the way, can this PLEASE be the last "welcome home Ronnie" party please?" I begged him as I looked over my shoulder to make sure Gemma wasn't around, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I knew her heart was in the right place but I was kinda over it.

"I promise, last one and this one is just family." He said giving me a squeeze. I started towards Gemma's Cadillac and was half way there when I heard a familiar voice.

"Well if it isn't little Ronnie Regan!"

I turned and saw a Opie, he had a beard and looked so much different then when I saw him 15 years ago, but only person called me that.

"What's up scruffy!" I said running full force at him and jumped up on him and hugged him as tight as I could, I felt him against me and it hit me how much I missed him. I didn't want to let go, but I felt my feet hit the ground and had to.

"How's your head?" He asked as if he knew I woke up with a hang over.

"Mom give you the keys?" Jax said coming up to us.

"How did you know I had a head ache?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest and looking over at Jax.

"I didn't say anything!" He said with a smile and held his hands up like I was arresting him, which I should have.

"I brought you guys home last night, you were wasted." Opie said laughing a little.

"I was not wasted!" I said trying not to be offended, but in the back of my mind I was really drunk last night.

"Did you puke?" Opie asked smiling even bigger at me. It was common knowledge between the two of us, that the only time I puked after drinking was when I was wasted.

"No, I didn't…I have to get going…I'll be back to pick up Gemma…" I said dodging any further conversation on the topic.

"She totally puked." Opie said looking over at Jax and they both started laughing hysterically. I flipped them off and got in Gemma's car and headed off the lot to run my errands.

I made three stops. The first was to the bank to open a couple of accounts and have the money transferred from my old ones to my new ones. I wish I could describe the look of astonishment on the Bank manager's face when he saw what amount was transferring. Money was never going to be a problem for me, staying away from my past would how ever be more difficult.

I then headed to the local electronics store and bought myself a laptop and a new TV for dad's house. I wasn't sure if I was going to keep the house yet, I was meeting with Dad's lawyer tomorrow to talk about his will and all of the legal stuff regarding his passing. I was leaning more and more into either buying my own house, or getting my own apartment. I knew the club wouldn't be happy about it, but it was my decision.

And lastly, I stopped at the local grocery store and picked a few things. There was literally nothing but the light in my dad's fridge. I bought some things for breakfast and dinners. I also grabbed several steaks for the dinner tonight. I was running low on time, and had to make my way back to the lot to pick up Gemma.

I pulled in the lot and parked in front of the garage. I noticed there were triple the bike's that were there earlier and I remembered we had church. I dropped Gemma's keys and walked in to the club house; the meeting hadn't started yet and were all having drinks and shooting pool when I walked in. I was greeted by everyone and then we headed into to the room. I took my place next to Jax and Bobby and sat down.

"First off, welcome Ronnie, good to have you hear." Clay said with smile and as I looked around at the other faces they all nodded. But the smile faded.

"Bobby, you want to start?" Clay asked looking over to Bobby who was the club's treasure.

"Well boys, we are scary low on funds. With the Porn business ending, and no more gun runs, we are hurting. Between the hospital bills for different members, and having to supplement what the garage can't cover from month to month, we are hurting really bad. We have to figure out a way to get back some serious before we get into the red and can't get out with out help." Bobby said hating to be the barrier of bad news but he knew that the funds were almost to the point of no return.

"Well, We all know the answer, the problem is where do get a connection." Trigger spoke up, he knew what they were all thinking, but no one wanted to say anything.

"I'm sorry, new member…no clue what you are talking here?" I said speaking up. I saw smiles acrosses their faces and Clay leaned into explain.

"The majority of the clubs income, beside dues from members, is we are in the gun business. We sell them and run them for a supplier, which used to be the irish but that connection isn't as strong as it used to be. We are currently shopping for a new buyer, but partnerships like this take a long time and finesses." Clay explained and the wheels in my head started to turn.

"Please forgive my ignorance, but what if there were somewhat legitimate businesses where you wouldn't have depended on anyone but the club and the profits could be just as good or better?" I watched as they were all either hesitant or doubtful about this proposition but they all looked to Clay for what he had to say about it.

"Is there such a thing?" He asked trying to see where this was going.

"Well, I happen to know a few ways to make a business legitimate and completely full of shit but one hundred percent profit at the same time, now I can go into detail if we are serious, but if we are set on selling guns, then let's plan that and let's see what we need to do get back in the game." I said not wanting to waste my breath, but my life in between Charming had taught me more than probably Clay or Gemma would have ever wanted to know.

"I say we hear her out." Opie said, I could see on his face that he wasn't completely confident in the idea that I had any clue on how to be a criminal. To Opie I was as green as they come.

"Okay what do you got?" Clay said relighting his cigar.

"The key to any legitimate cover business is believability. For instance, this club could never own a clown business, or fucking flower shop according to the rest of the world, but something like a A record company or a dance club is along the lines of something we could own and both pass of as a 'business' and the perfect way to make a steady cash flow." I watched as the confusion in the room went up to about a 1000.

"Okay, let's saw we open a club, a night club in a town like Charming, will attract people from our town as well as neighboring towns. On an average, a night club can make anywhere from $250,000 to $500,000…a night! Now we have club members working there and work special deals with the liquor companies for stocking and we take 75% profit off the top no questions ask, which on a good night could be more money than gun running and selling could get you in a month." I said getting a little excited about it as I saw the message was getting threw and I could see some of them were taking a liking to the idea.

"Are you serious?" Happy asked not understanding what the catch was it seemed to good to be true.

"What the catch?" Juice asked knowing that every good plan had one.

"I'll tell you what the catch is, we don't have the start up or the connections. The contruction of the place alone would kill us. There is no way we would ever swing a profit at the prices we would have to charge." Bobby said. And I couldn't help but smile.

"What if I told you start up costs were covered, and there is always a way to get around prices." My smile got wider and I winked at bobby.

"Go on." Clay said sitting forward.

"It's simple really, you make goofy ass drink and door special, make the drinks really strong during those specials. By the time midnight rolls around everyone is too drunk to care how much drinks are and they throw us credit cards. From there the possibilities are endless." I said and everyone nodded.

"I wanna know how you know the start up costs are covered." Clay said not liking that there were details that were yet to be discussed.

"Well to be honest. I can front the start up costs." I looked around at the faces, and snickering and doubt was welcomed in.

"And just where in the world would you have gotten that kind of money?" Clay asked, and I could see by the look on Jax and Opie's faces that they were wondering the same thing.

"Well, from my previous employer." I said knowing that they asked where not exactly how.

"Lot of risk involved with something like this…" Bobby warned as everyone seemed to be cautious about the topic already, as if they were all scared to do something legal besides the garage.

"True, but that is also true for any other business as well, look I will make you a deal, think about it, have Juice do some research, but I say that you let me put up the cost for this club, if in six months the night club isn't making you more money then you know what to do with, we shut down, and nothing falls back on you or SAMCRO." I said watching everyone kinda mull it over and decide that wasn't a horrible idea.

"Okay, Juice. You do some research and we will vote at our next mass." Clay said. "Anything else?" He asked and when a hush came over the room, Clay dropped the gavel and the meeting was adjourned.

Everyone left the room and kinda fanned out amongst the club house, I saw Clay heading out and walking towards the office of the garage. I headed out after him there was something I needed to talk to him about.

"CLAY!" I yelled after him as I jogged up to him, He turned around with a smile.

"What's up kiddo?" He said.

"Can we talk just you and me?" I asked him knowing that if anyone else was included in this conversation it wasn't going to go well and getting my way would be my very own mission impossible.

"Sounds serious…" He said smile fading.

"Not really, just personal." I said and we walked into the office, I thought he would have Gemma in on it to, but she was out running errands.

"So what's up?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Where the hell is Ronnie going with Clay?" Jax asked as he watched from the window.

"Probably catching up, why?" He said accepting his beer from the prospect.

"I don't like this her having all this money and not wanting to tell us how she got it." Jax said, he and Opie both knew she never helt secrets from them, unless she was in trouble and didn't want them involved.

"I wouldn't worry about it. I mean she is a lawyer, and those mob bosses always pay better than any average joe or simple business man, I am sure it's all good brother." Opie said as he patted Jax on the back and made him come away from the window.

"I need a few days away from Charming." I said knowing that this conversation wasn't going to be easy but I think I knew how to go about getting my way.

"You just got here Ronnie…Why was that so secretive?" He asked smiling at what he thought was my own over dramatics.

"I need a few days away from Charming…alone." I said and he understood why I wanted to talk to him alone.

"Ronnie…" Clay said scratching the back of his head.

"Just hear me out. There are something I need to take care of back in Vegas and I need to do this, by myself. I promise you I will call and check in with you, and the one time I don't you can send the whole Vegas chapter after me. But I need to do this on my own. And I promise, I will be back in three days. Please Clay, I need this." I told him, and it was the truth. I wasn't able to do anything for my old man before he passed, I didn't even know he was sick, so doing this was something I really needed.

"If the club finds out about this…" He said knowing Jax and Opie as well as everyone else would have his balls from breakfast lunch and dinner if they knew he was letting her go un-chaperoned.

"If they ask, just tell them the you have a couple of guys from the Vegas chapter watching over me, I promise, this will not go wrong." I said to him. "And if it does, I will make sure this lands all on me." I said letting him know I was ready to take on whatever repercussions this decision might bring.

"When?" He asked and I could tell from this change in body language that he was considering my proposal.

"I have a meeting with Dad's attorney tomorrow morning and then taking off tomorrow afternoon, I will be back Monday before anyone notices I am gone." I said more serious than anything else I had said to him since I had been back.

"I will set up check in times, You miss one or are late by more than five minutes Veronica Eileen, so help me god I will come out there to Vegas myself and bring you back and let the guys take turns beating you, understood?" He said not liking that he was agreeing to something so dangerous, but he knew that I had to do this on my own.

"Got it." I said taking the prepaid cell phone from him, with three numbers in it. His, Jax, and Opie.

"Come on, we better get home before Gemma has my balls for dinner." I couldn't help but laugh but at the same time we both knew he was serious. I went back in to Jax so we could head over to dinner.

"Hey, do you think you can ride over with Opie and Donna? I have to make a really quick stop at home. I will meet you there." He said hugging me quick and then heading out the door.

"Opie, I will ride over with Juice. But don't take forever, Donna owes me a huge hug." I said hugging him too. I didn't give him a chance to argue with me as I grabbed Juice by the arm and we headed out to his bike.

"You ready?" Juice asked me.

"You know I am really starting to hate that question. Just don't kill me on the way there Juice." I said fastening he helmet and putting my arms around his waist.

"Oh I know when I have precious cargo on board." He said, He couldn't see but I rolled my eyes as we rode off the lot and headed over to Clay and Gemma's house.

"Whatever you do, behave your self tonight, it's bad enough everyone else knows about your habit they don't need to know our personal life too." Jax warned as he lead the way into this mother's house.

"I'm just happy you brought me, I will behave…until we get home." She said wrapping her arms around him and trying to kiss him.

"Give me a break, would you?" He said unwrapping her arms from him and walking into the house, everyone was there, except the guest of honor was missing.

"Hey Mom." Jax said as he kissed his mother's cheek.

"Hey baby….what is she doing here?" She whispered in his ear as she hugged him.

"I have to keep up appearances until I serve her with papers next week." He said knowing that she would do whatever she could to keep him, and drama was her specialty. Jax went on and greeted everyone else and stopped after kissing Opie's wife Donna.

"Where's Ronnie, outside with the Clay and the grill?" Jax asked looking over his shoulder.

"No, she's not here yet. She rode over with Juice because I had Donna and the kids…if he isn't here in five minutes I am going to kill him." Opie said knowing that Juice had eyes for Ronnie, and knew his dick sometimes did the thinking for him when he should use his common sense.

"I'm calling him now." Jax said as he felt his anger start to boil.

"The princess is here!" They all heard Juice yell and then yelp as Ronnie punch him in the arm. Jax felt his blood pressure slowly go back down, and he took a deep breath.

"Sorry were late, Juice thought it would be fun to show me the town I grew up in….at night?" I rolled my eyes and kissed Gemma on the cheek and she handed me a huge platter.

"It's okay baby, Take this out to Clay while I have a talk with Mr. Juice here." Gemma said kissing my cheek and I headed for the patio knowing that Angry Gemma was a bad thing.

"Yeah we need to talk to him too." Jax said catching my elbow and kissing me on the cheek. Opie ruffled my hair and pushed me out the door and shut it.

"Look who made it to her own party!" Trigger said loudly.

"Don't even start! Here Clay, Gemma wanted me to bring these out to you." I said handing over the huge platter. He took it and started to lay the meat on the hot surface.

"Thanks baby girl. Who brought you over?" Clay said as I hugged Bobby and Chibbs and a side hug from Trigger.

"Juice, idiot took me a tour of the town I grew up in…at night, is he retarded?" I asked semi-serious, I had never met anyone with more clouded judgment. They all just laughed.

"He's harmless, just likes you I think." Clay said in a disapproving tone. Maybe I really was the daughter he always wanted, which meant I would probably be single for the rest of my life.

I looked over my shoulder as Gemma, Jax, and Opie had Juice pushed up against the wall and he looked like he was scared for his life. I appreciated the gesture, but I could take care of myself. The only thing that would take getting used to was as much protection as I was gaining would be twice the limited freedom.

I stayed out on the patio for a while listening to the older men of the club tell stories, and make jokes and it was nice. It was like having my dad backs and giving me a sense of what it might have been like to spend real time with him. When the steaks were done though, the platter was again restacked and I went sent in to give them to Gemma.

"Here they are, cooked as you wish." I said setting the platter down on the counter as she cut up carrots.

"Thank you Baby, and don't worry, we took care of Juice, he won't be doing none of that stupid shit again." She said as she handed me the joint and I took a hit.

"It wasn't like he kidnapped me, just did a really stupid gesture." I said trying to take some of the heat off of Juice. I didn't want him harmed because he was dumb.

"Yeah well that won't happen again." She said taking back the joint.

"Clay seems to think Juice as eyes for me." I said blowing out my last hit of the joint.

"Well duh, that doesn't mean he gets you by any means." Gemma kinda laughed the idea off and I had to as well, Juice was a nice guy but there wasn't any chemistry there for me. "Bring these to the table for me baby?" She handed me a stack of napkins and a box of silverware. I smiled took them and went to the table to start setting places.

"Better late than never, huh?" I heard Jax behind me and took a deep breath.

"From what I have been told, that wasn't my fault!" I said back with a cocked eyebrow, I looked over his shoulder to a woman, who was higher than a kite on something, in my line of work in Vegas the people I worked for kept certain woman high like that for days it was their only purpose, so I knew a junkie when I saw one, I was just curious what she was doing holding Jax's hand.

"Somebody I think you should meet." Jax said and bringing her to his side. "This is Wendy, my wife." It was as if I suddenly went deaf and everything went into slow motion.

"And it appears that you are going to be a father too." I said looking from Jax to Wendy who's belly was definitely showing. "I'm Ronnie." I said sticking out my hand.

"Jax's has told me a lot about you, seen a lot of your pictures from when you were all little, guess you grew up." She said and I couldn't help but watch the sweat beads form on her forehead and her skin became paler by the minute, she shook my hand.

"Alright sit down, it's time to eat." Gemma called out and like a true heard of men, they all flocked. I knew there was a seat waiting for me up by Jax, Gemma, and Clay but I chose a seat next to Opie and Donna.

"I saw the looks of disapproval, you sure you want to sit here?" Opie asked me as he took off his hat and pulled out my chair.

"I am just need a little break from the family reunion and just be here." I said back to him. Donna heard me and smiled.

Dinner was loud and the food went fast. I had a great time playing with Opie and Donna's kids, I caught up with Donna, and Opie and I had some of the best laughs about our memories. I think Donna learned a lot about Opie through or memory lane trip.

The rule in Gemma and Clay's house was that the girls who didn't help cook or set up get dishes and clean up duty, I was overwhelmed with Joy to see that rule was still in effect. I went out back by myself to get a little quiet and to have a cigarette.

"Here you are, interesting choice of seating chart you chose, do we smell?" He asked lighting up leaning against the wall next to me.

"Yes, and did it ever occur to you that you are not the only people I missed or needed to play catch up with?" I said back, I had been back two days and Jax was already all over my shit about not sticking where I belonged.

"Clay says you meet with your dad's lawyer tomorrow morning?" He exhaled his smoke and I could tell he was looking at me.

"Clay speaks the truth." I said nodding my head and taking in more smoke.

"What time do you want me to pick you up?" He asked flicking the dead ash of his cig. I wanted to look at him like he had three heads, so I just decided to look at him.

"For what?"

"Your car won't be done until Monday, how else are you gonna get around?" He asked loving the fact that I was wheel less and completely dependant on him. I was annoyed.

"I can take a cab Jax, or I can call have the lawyer meet me at my dad's house, you don't have to play taxi or shuffle me around." I couldn't help but feel like he was trying to push my buttons and I suddenly felt like I was 8 years old all over again.

"That's bullshit and you know it. I don't know why it kills you to let people help you out." He said shaking his head at me and I hated that.

"Maybe for the same reason you neglected to tell me not only do you have a pregnant wife, but why you are allowing her to still use while she is carrying YOUR DAMN BABY!" I said in hushed yell. My teeth were pinch together and if I could have gotten away with hitting him to make my point stronger, I would have.

"Where do you get off? Wendy is not using, she has been clean for 10 months…" He said as if I was the naïve one.

"Jax, have you looked at her since you got here? Have you not seen the fresh track marks between her fingers? And I know this is California, but she is sweating like is 105 degrees out and Gemma has the damn air on it's cold as hell in there. Don't play me like I don't know what a junkie looks like, you have no idea. You are lucky Gemma hasn't noticed or she will kill Wendy and then you. Get your shit together Jax." I said harshly. I didn't intend on being that mean, or even saying anything to him about it, but I needed to cause an argument so that a few days of me ignoring him wouldn't seem odd as I went to Vegas.

"Ronnie…" Jax grabbed my elbow and I stopped, I hesitated before I looked over to him, and when I did I saw his look soften.

"I am serving her with divorce papers this week, I was just trying to keep up appearances." He was almost apologetic about which told me he really didn't want it to be this way but it was more of an obligation as to why this was the path he was on.

"Since when do you care about appearances Jax? I'm heading home." I said sliding the glass door to head in side.

"I'll take you." He said flicking his cigarette.

"No Jax, I 'm catching a ride with Bobby. Take your pregnant wife home. I'll talk to you later." I said bitterly and headed through the house to find Bobby. He agreed to take me home, and as I climbed on the back of the bike I saw Jax and Gemma watch us leave.

"What's going on with you there?" Gemma asked putting her arm around her son. Of all the women in Charming Jax could hand pick for his mother to love him to be with would be Ronnie, but is that what he wanted.

"Nothing, everything, confusion. I don't know, I mean one second she is the akward skinny tomboy who I told everything too and hung out with 24/7, and now she comes back, and she is the beautiful, funny, smart, woman, and I don't know how to feel, worst of all I have no clue how she feels." He said sighing and watching as Bobby's head lights turned out on to the main road. "Worst part is, no matter what we are, I hate fighting with her, I always have. Come on, we have to talk about something." Jax said back him and his mother up to close the front door.

"About what?" She asked not liking the secrets.

"Wendy."


	6. Chapter 6

Again thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing it means the world to me! Here is the latest…and to Msgemgem….bare with me, your request of my fic will be granted but bare with me…it will be a little bit of a buppy ride…but I think you will very happy with how this all comes together.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the SOA characters…although trust me is it tempting. lol

"So that's everything?" I asked as I shook the lawyers hand and smiled.

"Yup, just call me if you need anything, and I am really sorry for your loss, your dad was a real good friend of mine. I didn't want to bombard you at the funeral but I was there. He was a good man." He said to me, and I was still trying to figure out what that meant.

I walked down the lobby, down the stairs and out the front door when the pre-paid that Clay had given me was ringing. I looked down at the display and saw it was him.

"Hello Clay." I said smiling.

"Very good, you passed test number one. I want to see you before you take off. Come by the club." He demanded more than said.

"Yeah I need to see you too before I take off. Is Jax there?" I asked trying not to be too obvious, failed at that one.

"No, he is out on a repo will be gone for hours, you two have a fight?" He asked not previe to what was wrong.

"Sort of, just need some time away. I will be there in a few." I said and hung up the phone. This was going to be a little bit easier than I thought it would be with Jax not there. I caught a taxi and loaded up. I grabbed my suit case, box of dad's stuff, and my airplane tickets.

"Here, keep the motor running I told the driver and threw him $300 in cash. He turn off the motor but kept the tab running as I took the box of my dad's stuff into the club house. Everyone was there except Opie and Jax and the Prospect.

"What's that?" Clay asked as I put in the on the stool in front of him. I noticed that as I paused a crowd gathered around me.

"This is some of the loose ends I need to tie for my dad. I met with this lawyer this morning and I need to return some things to where he wanted them." I said looking around at all the faces.

"Piney, this is for you. It's all his Nam stuff, he wanted you to have it." I said passing over a paper sized box full of pictures, articals, metals, and memorbila.

"Gemma, these were my mothers, Dad wanted you to have them, and please don't tell me they belong to me, because I will do nothing with them, plus there is a reason he wanted you to have them." I said she struggled for a moment then nodded in agreement. I passed out a few more things like pictures to Happy, and an old hand held radio to trigger, and then it came to Bobby and Clay.

"Bobby, there wasn't a whole lot left of dad's financials after we paid the funeral and medical bills he had, but this was wired into the club account this morning with the attached note.

"Dear Bobby, for all those times I came up a little bit short for dues. Love Red." I read the note out loud then handed the wire confirmation and the note to bobby.

"And last but not least. Clay," and from the box I pulled Dad's old cut. "He said that no one had more heart into the this club than you, and this cut was his heart, so it belongs with you." I said handing it over in a very respectful manner.

"Ronnie, I don't know about this." He said looking at me, traditionally it would go to the members old lady or kid, but in this case it was to back to one of his oldest friends.

"This is what dad wanted, and I for damn sure don't need his ass haunting me cause I didn't full fill his wishes. Take it, he's right it belongs with you." I said and received the biggest hug from him, he held me for a while and I let him.

"Clay, I gotta go." I whispered in his ear. At this rate I would have just enough time to get to the air port.

"Okay okay, first check in is tonight 9:00." He whispered back. I nodded and told the guys I would see them later. I got in the cab and headed out. As we got to the end of the driveway Jax and Opie were coming back from the repo run. I heard Jax yell my name and honk at me, but knew he would go back to work like Clay wanted and what I wanted. I would see him in a couple days.

As the smaller plane landed and I again felt the Vegas sands beneath me, I cursed the unsteadiness feeling of the smaller planes, but I needed to be descret about my entrance into Vegas, and this was the best way I knew how.

As we taxied to be let off of the plane, I opened and activated the pre-paid cell phone I bought before I left Charming and I dialed a number.

"Are you on the ground?" Her voice was like home, warm and familiar, just what I needed.

"Just grabbing my bags, are you close?" I asked walking through the small building to the front.

"I will be there in 5." She said and we ended the call. I came out the front doors and set down my small duffel bag and just as I did, a black suv pulled up in front of me and the tinted window rolled down.

"You going my way?" She said as she pulled down her sunglasses to the end of her nose and smiled. I grabbed my bag and threw it in the back seat and we took off.

"Did you get what I asked for?" I asked her as we headed off for the strip.

"Yup, you gonna tell me what this is all about?" She asked turning up the air conditioning in the truck.

"Over dinner, I need food." I said as Clay's pre paid started to ring, I put my finger up to my mouth and let her know to be quiet.

"Hey." I said simply.

"You passed again. Are you there?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah just landed." I answered.

"I don't like this you being out there all alone." Clay said, I knew leaving him alone with his thoughts too long was gonna to come back and bite me in the ass.

"Clay, I'm not alone, I have someone I know and trust with me, and I know can keep my secret just that." I said saying what ever I could from him calling in the calvery.

"I might feel a little better about this if you told me what the trip was for."

"I will as soon as I get back, please trust me that I have this handled." I begged him in my best whining daughter voice.

"Well I hate to break this to you, but you need to be back by Sunday. Everyone is starting to ask for you, and I don't know how much more I can delay." He said knowing we were stretching the time limit on what conversations were supposed to be in the pre pay phones.

"Let me Guess, Jax, Opie and Gemma?" I asked already knowing who was pushing him.

"Yeah, so get back here Sunday or I make the call." He said finally.

"Fine." I said back bitterly. I wanted more time, to make this more smooth, but the club was forcing me to do it more of Gia's way.

"Tonight, 11:00 don't be late." He said and hung up. I slammed the phone shut and threw the phone on the dashboard.

"Bad news?" Gia asked smiling knowing that she was going to get a chance to play.

"Yeah, looks like we are going to end up doing this your way, and G it's gotta be tonight." I said not liking this, not one single bit.

"I love when I get to play." Gia smiled and pushed down harder on the accelerator.

"Who was that?" Jax asked coming up behind Clay as he hung up the phone.

"Ronnie, she was just calling to see about the car, I told her to call you." Clay said putting his arm around his step son.

"Why didn't she call me in the first place?" He asked not liking the feeling that Clay and Ronnie were keeping something from him.

"I gave her one of the pre pays and it was a new one, and not all the numbers are in yet. I gave it to her." And just as Clay said that Jax's cell began to ring.

"Hello?" Jax said suspiously.

"Hey, how is my car coming?" Her voice was cold and he could tell she was still upset with him, unfortunately for both of them, he wasn't happy with her either.

"It should be done tomorrow, where are you?" He asked quickly.

"I am out of town, I had some loose ends to tie up, I will be home tomorrow to pick up my car and let everyone know were I was. Don't you dare yell at Clay, I am not alone and I am protected. I have to go, I will talk to you tomorrow when I pick up the car." She said to him and then quickly ended the call. Jax was fuming, Clay knew all along that she was gone, he had a feeling that he knew exactly where she was, but he knew yelling at Clay would only make Ronnie more pissed off with him. He would wait until tomorrow when she got back to get his answers.

He went and found one of the Crow Eaters to take out his frustration and pent up energy out on, it was never an issue, they all wanted him and most would do anything to have him look twice at them.

"So what's the set up?" I asked Gia as she handed me the binoculars. We had been sitting outside this waterfront warehouse for about an hour and I was starting to get antsy.

"He has only three night watch me as of 20 minutes ago. One at the door on first floor, one that sits out on the hallway outside his top floor apartment, and one inside with him. With both of us packing this should go really fast and easy. The package you are looking for, is I believe being kept in the garage next to the building. It's padlocked and should be able to get the key from him before we kill him." Gia said eating the last of her ice cream cone.

"You bring your gun?" I knew it was a dumb question but I was nervous. I had never done this, I had never pulled the trigger before, been with Gia several times when she had done it, but never been the one to have to do the kill shot, but this was mine. I knew Gia would take the shot for me if I get up there and can't do it, but I wanted to be the one to do this.

"I always have my baby with me." She said smiling.

"It's time." I said and we got out and headed for the building.

The first guard was easy, he was already a sleep, I gave him a quick hard hit with the butt of my glock 9 mm. He fell off the chair and we headed in the building and up the stairs.

Gia crouched down and slowly opened the door to that lead into the hallway where his apartment was at the end of the long hallway, there was a guy pacing back and forth, his gun tucked in the back of his jeans. She signaled to me that I was to follow her and have her back as we made our way down the hallway hugging the wall.

When we were in range Gia nodded to me and I tapped on the wall, the guard turned around and went for his gun, and Gia fired twice into his chest, he dropped like a ton of bricks. My adrenaline was officially pumping overtime and the there was nothing else but what I had to do.

Gia counted to three silently and then I kicked in the door, she went in first gun drawn and I went into after her, we came into the main living room and he was went from sitting on the couch to jumping up at the sound of us breaking down the door, and looked like he was going to reach for something.

"Do it and you will be dead before you even touch it." I said cocking back the hammer on my gun and moving forward.

"Where's your other man?" Gia asked as she didn't see him where he should have been.

"He went home, he wasn't feeling well. Who are you?" He asked nervously. Gia and I both knew that he was lying, and Gia went to find the other guard.

"I ask the questions, you answer and you will live to see the bright lights of the strip." I said as I moved around the couch, and made him sit down.

"What do you want to know? What do you want?" He asked fear in his voice. I wanted to come out and just say it, tell him to give me the keys to the bike and then shot him in the head, but I had to stick to the plan. Gia and I have learned the hard way the repercussions of not following the plan.

"Shut up, you will find out soon enough, now shut up until I ask you something." And just as I said that there was a gun shot. I was able to keep my body still, but my head shot up and looked in the direction it came from, it was also the direction Gia had gone.

"G!" I yelled for her. I was not to leave my post, I knew that but my heart started to race and I was starting to get worried. A few moments later G came back into the room and wiping what I assumed to be blood off her face.

"You good?" I asked as she came over to where I am.

"Yeah, fucker got blood on my new dickies." She said not happy about that situation.

"Okay, now you will listen and when I tell you too you will talk. Nod if you understand me." I instructed and I was pleased when he nodded.

"20 years ago, you won a motor cycle, a 1971 Harley Davidson soft tail, I want it back." I said trying control my adrenaline and my emotion. "Where is it?" I asked re adjusting my hands on the gun.

"Keep in mind if you lie to me, I will know and it will also piss me off, and when I get pissed, people get hurt." Gia said tightening her gloves. I watched as he swallowed hard and was desperately thinking about what he should do.

"Why do you want my bike?" He asked completely clueless. The Anger in my started to build even more and I wanted to pull the trigger more than ever.

"That bike was never yours, you cheated my father out of it over 15 years ago, I am here to collect it back and bring it back to where it belongs, so either you can tell me where it is, or I will kill you and find it myself, but my patients are wearing thin and you are going to force me to make the decision for you." I warned, the moment he called it his bike, all doubt and fear left my body and mind.

"The keys, they are in my deck drawer, the middle one. Underneath a file folder." He said visibly shaking now. Gia nodded and headed off to retrieve the keys.

"I just wanted you to know that I won that bike fair and square, I will gladly give it back to you, but I am not a cheater. I am very good at gambling and have been very successful at it. I can give you money if you want it." He said and it was as if he was taunting me, like I was some homeless person or a criminal and that just made it worse.

"What floor is the bike on?" I said trying to keep my temper in check.

"First floor, it's in the back of all the other cars." He said shaking as he saw my emotion rise.

"Got em!" Gia said keys looped around her finger.

"Go down to the first floor, he says there is a garage and the bike is the back of all those, call me and let you know if he is lying." I said roughly, Gia nodded and headed out to the door. I gave him back his cigar and relit it for him, he nervously watched me and began to smoke it. The pre paid I bought for Gia rang and she confirmed that she had the bike and was taking it outside.

"Well looks like you kept your word, my partner has the bike, however, you have seen my face, and know my partners name, unfortunately I can't let you live." I said and pulled the trigger twice. Something in my snapped, and I immediately went in to cover mode. I covered him in the bottle of bourbon that he had been drinking and then lit him on fire. I headed out the door and out to meet Gia as his body and the couch he was sitting on went up in flames.

Gia had the bike running and ready to go, I hopped on the back and we headed back for the truck. I was numb and I didn't want to talk about it. I knew Gia was concerned but she knew me well enough to know that I would come to her when I was ready to talk.

As we got back to the truck the Clay's Pre-paid was ringing.

"Right on time." I said non-emotional.

"Is it done?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am about to head for home in a couple minutes. Gia will follow me to the state line." I said very monotone and I knew Clay could tell I wasn't exactly okay.

"I'll call you again at 6:00 and see where you are at. I will meet you at the Charming boarder." He said as if he had it in the plans the whole time.

"No, Clay please I will meet you and the rest of the guys at the garage, probably around 11." I insisted, and I think he could tell from my sudden rush in tone he agreed but still said he was calling me around 6:00 so to plan to gas up or bathroom break around then so I heard the phone.

Gia followed me to the state line to California, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I was back in Charming.

"You sure you don't want me to follow you all the way? Or better yet you can just come back to Vegas with me?" Gia said coming to give me a hug.

"I'm sorry G but life there in Vegas is a wrap, but you know you are always welcome in Charming if you business ever settles down or you want to retire." I said squeezing her tight.

"I know you will probably crash after you deliver the bike but please text me and let you know you are safe." She instructed and considering she just did me a huge favor I agreed and hugged her one last time. I gave her my gun to melt down and headed off for charming. The Sun was starting to come up and I was starting to feel the lack of sleep.

I pulled over at 6:00 at a small town about 5 hours out of Charming, talked to Clay and then headed back on the road.

The sunrises in California were some of the most beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all again for the feedback! It's helps inspire me to update! I am sorry this one got away from me and got long! Hope you all enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the SOA characters! They belong to Kurt Sutter Ronnie and Gia however are my own creations**

"What are you doing here Op? I thought you had to work this morning?" Jax asked as he was up before the sun too, he wanted to double check the Monte Carlo before Ronnie showed up. Lowell was one of their best mechanics, but Jax knew he wouldn't be happy until he looked at him self.

"Same reason you are re-checking Lowell's work." He said knowing that Jax was just as worried as he was. No one had been able to reach Ronnie since Jax talked to her yesterday. When Jax told Opie what she had said they were both pissed and more than worried.

"Something don't feel right Op." Jax said as he wiped off his hands.

"I know, and we will find out in a few hours. Why don't you bring it down off the hoist and I will help you shine her up." Opie said taking off his cut and leather jacket and placed them on top of the tool box.

They finished up waxing the car, and head inside as people started to show up for work, they were both on coffee cup number three when Clay came out of the back where the rooms were.

"Come on, she's pulling up now." He said to both the boys, they were out the door before he was.

They all gathered, all of the Sons and Gemma gathered and anxiously awaited for her to pull in the driveway. But no of them, not none of them expected to see her how she came in.

All of them held their breath as she rolled to a stop riding Red's old bike. The one Jax and he had built together. She turned off the engine and kicked the stand down, took off her helmet and hung it on the bike.

"A couple of days ago, I came here and handed out things of my father's to the people who he wanted them to go to. Things that were important to him that they go to special people, family. Well Jackson Teller, this is yours." I said getting up and dangling the keys to it off my finger.

"Is this?" Was all Jax could get out before the emotion over swept him and he was afraid to open his mouth for fear he would just start crying. After all this time, the bike he fell in love with, the bike he helped build from the frame was here, back in his life, under his finger tips, and it was Ronnie who brought it back. For Jax you didn't get anymore emotional than that.

"I know you already have a bike, and that's fine. Maybe one day your son can have it, or maybe you want to alternate, I don't care. The bike it yours, dad wanted it back with you and now it is." I said patting him on the shoulder and handed two envelopes to Opie and kept walking for the club house.

Opie opened the envelope and saw the title for the bike, and the other one was a hand written note to Jax from Red. He would give to him later.

When Jax took a moment to realize what Ronnie had done, he wanted to thank her, hug her, hold her, but when he turned around he saw her going into the club house closely followed by Clay, Opie and Gemma. He took off running to catch up and told Happy not to let anyone so much as breath on the bike.

"You said when you were back you would explain, where are you going?" Clay said after Ronnie as he followed her to where the rooms were.

"Is this Jax's room?" She asked barely coherent.

"Yeah baby, but I think we should talk first." Gemma said trying to get the truth out without pissing her off.

"No, I haven't slept since Thursday, it is now Sunday, I want to sleep, yes I am home, no I am not leaving anytime soon, all I want is a few hours of shut eye and then you can grill me until you are satisfied. Okay?" She asked seeing that Jax was now there and heard every word.

Clay took a moment to look at her, and she was right she looked exhausted and need sleep. He was just glad she was willing to go to sleep and he wouldn't have to make her.

Ronnie went into Jax's room, her bag clashed to the floor and her body flopped on his bed, sideways. She didn't care if she was laying the wrong way, she didn't even care if she was comfortable, she just wanted to be laying down and just as she was about to fall a sleep she heard him come in and lay next to her.

"Ronnie….I…." Jax struggled to find the right words, his gradititude for what she had just given him were too much.

"Jax….Sleep….please…" She muttered under the blankets and pillows where she tried to burry herself deeper.

He wasn't ready to leave her side yet so he just laid there in bed next to her until he knew she was completely out which didn't take long either. When he could he got up from the bed and went back out to the garage.

"Up and at em princess." I heard as my dark quiet sleep was jerked into sudden sunlight and interruption.

"What the hell?" I said as the blankets were violently ripped off me and the sunlight assaulted my eye lids. They were sore and still very heavy. As I rubbed them I saw Jax sitting on the end of the bed and Opie standing next to it.

"Just a few more hours…." I said and fell back on the bed. Without so much as a warning I was being hoisted over Op's shoulder and we were walking down the hallway.

"I'm gonna kill you for this." I said and the words struck a chord with me and I suddenly had knots all over my body.

"You have slept for the past 12 hours, it's question time." Opie said picking me up hauling me down to the room where everyone waited, I didn't have the strength or the energy to fight him right now.

"Jax, we are at the table, let's go." Opie said as he rounded the corner in the hallway.

"I'll grab the Ronnie some coffee and be right there." Jax yelled back as he followed after them.

"Look who decided to wake up?" Opie said as he came into the room where everyone was already gathered.

"More like kidnapped." I mumbled as Opie put me down by my chair.

"Um, don't we require our members to at least be wearing pants at these meeting?" Bobby said looking me up and down and it was then that I looked down and noticed I was only in a oversized "Samcro" t-shirt and a pair of boxers. I looked over to Clay who was looking at me over his glasses and I suddenly felt dumb.

"You had blood on yours, I have a crow eater trying to get the stains out but they will probably have to be burned. You needed clothes." Jax said setting my coffee on the table in front of me.

"Awesome." I said sarcastically. I looked over and saw that I was being looked up and down all over so I sat down in the chair and pulled my knees up to my chest and pulled the shirt down over them. Clay started the meeting and looked over at me.

"So, out with it."

I knew this was coming, and if I wasn't overly tired I probably would have been nervous and anxious but I instead I was clam and I sipped my coffee.

"What exactly did you want to know?" I said blowing on the hot liquid.

"Well you could start with where the hell you were?" Opie spoke up from the across the table, he looked angry and I knew that I owed them answers.

"I was in Vegas." I said swallowing the bolder that had landed in my throat.

"What the hell were you doing in Vegas?" Trig asked upset and he sat forward trying to understand why I would do such a thing alone.

"Well I tracked the guy down who stole my dad's bike, and I knew I had to get I back, so I went to Vegas and I got it back." I said taking another sip, I was having a really hard time looking people in the face and suddenly I felt very guilty and I couldn't figure out why.

"Alone?" Piney said turning up his oxygen tank a little.

"No, I wasn't completely alone." I said vaguely knowing that wasn't the end of it.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Jax said upset next to me, I wasn't sure how to counter that. I understood them being upset, but I was grown and I took care of myself for a long time, just because I was back didn't mean I was helpless.

"I had an old friend help me locate the son of a bitch and took care of him, how is that?" I said back in a tone that I no longer cared who was upset with me.

"Who is this friend?" Juice said, and as soon as he said it, I knew that the moment if I chose to reveal Gia's identity, Juice would be digging up anything and everything on her and that is not what I wanted to happen. After a job like this, Gia and I would always take a month or so with no communication, just to process and move on from what had happened. There was no way I would break her trust like that for this family, Gia had saved my life more times that I cared to try and remember. I would keep her identity a mystery for now.

"It doesn't matter who the friend is because she is family to me in a sense where I am still alive sitting here before you because of her. You all wanted facts, here are the facts, I found the man who cheated my father out of a bike that when he lost it, it broke his heart. I went to Vegas, got my dad's bike back, other than that, I don't know what else you all want from me, I did what I had to do…just like any of you would have done." I said finally and leaned back in my chair, coffee cup in my hands, I took my eyes away from all of them, and tried to calm myself down.

"I just have one last question…" Jax said calmly and quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear, I looked up to everyone else's face and I could see the anger was all gone, they were all more understanding of my voyage and why I had to do it the way I did. I finally looked over at Jax, his blue eyes piercing mine.

"The blood on your clothes that I found…" Jax trailed off knowing that neither one of us needed him to finish that sentence we all knew what he was asking. And that was when all the emotion of taking a life had caught up with me. I had suppressed it all until this moment.

The reality of what I had done, taken a life that wasn't supposed to be over yet, I suddenly felt over whelmed with sadness guilt and it consumed me.

"Yes, it was his…" I said as water filled my eyes. I returned them back down to my cup.

"Was it you?" He asked softly.

"Yes, it was me that took him out." I said as my chin began to shake but I wouldn't allow myself to openly cry in front of the members. Jax put his arm around me and I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder.

"Well I am satisfied, can we put this to bed, with the understanding that from this moment on, you never handle anything else on your own again? I think we all understand this was for your dad, but there won't be a next time, right?" Clays asked hoping he was answering his own question.

"Right." I said taking a deep breath. Clay hit the gavel and I was the first one up and out of the room, I put the mug back on the bar when I heard Gemma.

"Baby, why are you in Jax's boxers and t-shirt?" Gemma said from the massive hug that pulled me in.

"I got back and just passed out, it was a long ride. What's that?" I said motioning to a duffle bag she had in her hands. I saw Jax come up to stand next to me and I wanted to run.

"I stopped by your dads and picked up some of your clothes, figured you need some clean ones." She said handing over the bag.

"Thanks Gemma, you are the best." I said kissing her on the cheek and headed straight for the rooms.

"She okay?" Gemma asked putting her purse on the bar.

"Hard to say, I am just happy she is back, did you see what's outside?" He asked her as they both watched where I had disappeared to.

"No, what?" She said looking at her son.

"Come on." He said smiling and put his arm around his mom and walked her outside to see the bike.

"Hey, is my car ready yet?" I came out after a shower and fresh clothes. I found Opie and asked him.

"Yeah I'll grab the keys." He said I turned around and saw Jax sitting on my car.

"Jesus, does he ever give it a rest?" I asked as Opie put the keys in my hand.

"Just hear him out, your too hard on him sometimes, you are hard on each other, but you should know that you just did probably the most special thing for him, anyone has ever done for him in his life, that bike, meant the world to him. And now to have it back, by your hand means a lot to him." Opie gave me a quick side hug and a kiss on the top of the head and pushed my towards my car.

"Oh, before I forget, Donna wants you over for dinner some time next week." Opie yelled after me.

"Done, just let me know what day." I said back as I slowed my pace the closer I got to my car.

"Where you headed?" he asked gently.

"Dad's. I have a ton of work to do there and I have some stuff to figure out." I said juggling the keys in my hand.

"Do you need any help?" He asked sliding off the car.

"No, I should be okay, but thank you for offering." I said and threw my bag in the front seat of the car. Silence fell between us and when no one said anything I opened the car door and went to get in.

"Damn it Ronnie, I can't stand this." He said out of frustration. I saw the look on his face and knew I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. There had been tension between us since last week, but with the trip to Vegas that all got pushed to the side.

"What?" I said playing his normal card of denial.

"This! You and I mad at each other, or you mad at me I should say. I am sorry for the whole Wendy thing, after you left that night mom and I talked with her, and she promised me no more using while she is still pregnant. Mom is going to help me keep an eye on her, but if wasn't for you I never would have seen she was using." He said in a greatful tone. He had started to pace back and forth and I knew he wasn't done.

"And I am sorry I never mentioned being married but I am not happy with her, I am not IN love with her for damn sure, I guess once I saw you were back I was embarrassed for you to see my life now." He said leaning on the car next to me looking down at his shoes.

"Why would you be embarrassed? Why did you marry someone you weren't in love with? The only thing that embarrasses me is that you still treat me like I am 8." I said giving him the truth of where my frustration was with him.

"It's Tara, my heart is still fucked up because of her. No matter who I am with, or what skank I fuck, it always comes back to her, it always ends right back with her and what we were. I think I married Wendy cause I was lonely and I just wanted to know that no matter how far I wondered that there would always be someone waiting at home." He said kinda working through his emotions and what was wrong with him out just by talking about it. Bikers never really had emotions, there were more of the time seen as weakness but Jax was different. He was always really sensitive with those he loved, which was his brother, his mother and this mc club.

"Wow, that was a lot…of bull shit. Jax, you listen to me and you listen to me good." I paused to make sure he was looking at me in the eyes.

"Trust me, I understand the love that you and Tara have, but you have to start working through the fact that she left. Whether that was because of you or despite you, you have to accept the fact that she left. You need to admit it out loud, right now….say it Jax! Say you still love Tara Knowles!" I said getting up in his face, the smile on his face told me that he did not want to do this, and he didn't want to face this. It wasn't the greatest time or place to have a break through but with Jax there never really was.

"SAY IT JAX!" Yelled at him inches away from his face and he pushed me back with tears in his eyes.

"I STILL LOVE TARA KNOWLES! She tore my fucking heart out and shattered it! But I miss her, I miss her smile, the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, the sound of her laugh, the way she always knew me and I never had to say anything. I fucking miss and love her, okay? You happy now?" Jax yelled back in my face and the tears in his eyes told me he was on a roll. He took a few deep breathes then stopped and looked at me with new eyes, I smiled.

"Feels good doesn't it?" I asked him as he put his hand on his chest and started to smile.

"Yeah, it actually does." He said starting to laugh a little.

"Now, every day, once a day you need to say out loud to yourself or someone else. 'Tara, I forgive you' " I said putting hand on his shoulder.

"For how long?" He asked desperately wanting to have this lightened feeling within him stay.

"Say it every day until you can believe it. And from there, you can move on. And when you can move on, the sooner you will be back to the Jax Teller I know and love." I said and he rushed me and pulled me into a big hug. It was nice, the feeling of arms embracing me was nice.

"Thank you, thank you so much." He said into my neck as he held me tighter.

"I just want you to be happy, what good is that huge heart you have if you can't share it with someone." I said pulling out of his arms and walking around.

"I'm stopping by later, so I will bring dinner." He said and I just smiled. I pulled out and headed for home, I looked in the rear view mirror and Jax stood there and watched me leave.

I made it back to dad's just as the realitor arrived.

"Are you Veronica Seglar?" The woman in the older looking suit asked.

"I am, thank you for coming on a Sunday, but I want to get this house sold as soon as possible." I said shaking her hand.

She came in the house and I showed her around, we talked about a selling price and I told her I would be cleaning up the place so it should be empty by the time she was ready to show it.

I was still really tired, and just wanted to go back to sleep, but I forced myself to start going through dad's stuff and making piles, stuff to donate, stuff to toss and stuff I should keep. I went out to the garage to get some more boxes when I realized dad had so many tools, I made a mental note to talk to Clay or Jax and seeing if the garage wanted them, otherwise I would donate those too.

I spent a good couple of hours sorting, boxing and cleaning when the front door rang.

"Happy birthday." Jax said with a small bag dangling from his finger.

"Jax, my birthday is not for another month, what is this?" I asked shutting the door behind him. I looked in it and there was a box.

"Something you desperately need." He said looking at the work she had been doing, there were piles and boxes every where.

"A cell phone? And it's not prepaid?" I asked knowing how most Sons had to roll around these days and more of them had pre pays for work and regular cells for all other purposes.

"Yeah, you turned off the house phone, and tossed the prepays, now you have one incase anyone needs you or you need them. I programmed Gemma, Op, Clay and me in there, I can have half sack put the rest in there tomorrow." Jax said picking up an old framed photo of my dad and I. In it I couldn't have been more then 2 or 3. "Hap was right, you do look like your mom." Jax said smiling and put it back down.

"Thanks for the phone, you didn't have to." I said knowing that I would end up losing it, I was never good at caring those things.

"I know, so what do you want for dinner? My treat." He said smiling from ear to ear.

"I don't know Jax, I have a ton of work here to get done…" I said not wanting to go out, I was tired and overwhelmed here at dad's and I just wanted a night in.

"Well, what do you say to take out and I stay and help you?" Jax offered.

I wasn't sure about it at first but than I looked around at just the room we were in and it was almost unbearable, and I decided some help wouldn't kill me.

"Sure, You order I'll pay?" I said knowing he was going to try and pay. I saw him hesitate, but he nodded and picked up his cell and called in the order. About an hour later we were eating on what wasleft of the living room floor, chop sticks and laughing hysterically over our past and memories. It was good for both of us, kept him from dwelling on what I had done and prevented him from asking anymore questions and it kept my mind off, well everything. It was exactly what we needed.

"No, no, no….the greatest were the DJ tapes you me and Op used to make, remember those?" I said while laughing, I saw spit him chicken back out and started laughing hysterically when I heard my new cell phone going off.

"Hello?" I said trying to stop laughing.

"Glad to see you're got your present and you know how to answer it." Clay said, he sounded worried.

"Ha Ha Ha, funny….really. What's up?" I asked trying to get something out of my teeth.

"Jax with you?" He asked.

"Yeah, you want to talk to him?" I said taking a drink of my beer.

"No, I need both of you here at the club house now." Clay hung up before I had a chance to say anything else. I hung up the phone and looked over at Jax who was still grinning like a fool.

"That was Clay, says he needs you and me at the club house now." I said looking down at the mess in front of me.

"I will clean this up, why don't you go throw on a new shirt and we will head out." He said seeing the smile disappear from my face, he stayed calm. I nodded and went to change. I wasn't sure what this was all about so I dressed sensabily and wore jeans and a black SAMCRO t-shirt and my white sneakers.

"I'll meet you over there?" I asked as I locked up the house, he was already on his bike.

"You don't want to ride with me?" He asked, I really didn't but I knew he would be offended if I didn't so I just hopped on and put the helmet on.

We got to the club house and met up with everyone in the bar. I made my rounds of hugs to give Clay being the last and he told me and Jax to sit on either side of him.

"I need Jax, Bobby and Ronnie to make a run tonight." Clay said as soon as Jax and I sat down. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.

"What's going on?" Bobby asked before any of us else could.

"Just got word that some NORD shit is about to hit the fan up Stockton, We need to get Otto somewhere safe. Ronnie, this is where you come in. You need to convince them that Otto can be transferred to the infirmary, or solitare, somewhere safe until we can get this NORD shit sorted out.

"Jax, I need you to get the words to Otto while Ronnie is working her magic. Let him know what's going down and what the game plan is." Clay instructed sternly but they all understood why. Otto was one of the Original Nine. He needed to be protected and kept safe.

"Bobby, you stick to her like glue." Clay said pointing over to me. I started to rack my brain on different ways to get this executed. "Bobby, run her home so she can get her car, no lawyer is rolling up the prison this late at night on a bike." Clay said and there was truth in all of it, I was just thinking the same thing. I could tell Jax wanted to interject but knew that Clay kept him behind for a reason.

I took off with Bobby and we made it back to dad's in no time, I changed and got into my car. As we hit open road, I was immediately flanked. Bobby to my right and Jax to the left of my car. It felt natural to have them there, even though this was a first for me.

We arrived at the prison and got our passes.

"Ms. Seglar, the Warnden is waiting for you, Mr. Teller if you will follow this guard, he will take you into to see your prisoner." We were instructed and as much as I didn't want to be separated from Jax, I knew he could take care of himself and that I would have Bobby with me and I would be okay.

We were walked down several hallways and up some stairs until we came to a double door office entry way.

"Remember the plan." I whispered as we were escorted in.

"Warden, I'm Veronica Seglar, Otto's new attorney, thank you for meeting with us at such a late hour." I said shaking his hand. "This is my para legal, Robert." I could tell Bobby was hesitant to shake the hand of the man who was basically the devil to him, but he did it anyway.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Seglar. I am being told you need to talk about transferring Otto for some testing?" The Warden asked as if it were mission impossible.

"Yes, And I have the court order if you need to see it, Otto on his last medical exam here, exhibited several signs of PMD and depression. The doctor here, your doctor has order some psych evaluations and some other mental health tests, but we need to move Otto tonight to either the infirmary tonight so that he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else." I said being very confident about what I was saying, and it looked promising. I handed over the court documents that I was able to dig up, he looked them over and then signed them.

"Okay I will have him transferred as soon as we are done here, but I have to warn you, this court document states that it's only a 72 hour hold, unless tests show that he is needs to be transferred to a mental health prison, but that could take up to a week, he would remain in the infirmary until his transfer, just want to make sure we all understand each other." The warned giving me back my copy of the court documents. I nodded in agreence, and got up to shake his hand.

"Please have your doctor fax or email the test results as they are available." I said handing him my business card. I used the fax number from Teller-Morrow, being that I hadn't had time to set up a office yet.

"Thank you and might I say it was a real pleasure you meet you Ms. Segalr." The Warden's creepy tone and smile made me want to shower with Bleach but I knew I had to play my part so I smiled and flirted back.

We were walked out, and met back up with Jax in the parking lot. We filled him in and headed back to Charming. I was tired again, and needed to sleep. Bobby and Jax both flanked the car again as soon as we hit open road. It took us a couple of hours but we get back to the club house and went into the club house.

I was greeted with whistles and cat calls, I almost forgot I was in a form fitting suit.

"Fuck off." I said while yawning.

"So, how did it go?" Clay asked coming out from the room.

"They are moving him to the infirmary for the next 72 hours for psych testing per court order. So you have 72 hours to work out whatever it is that you need to, unless Otto is capable of convincing them he is not mentally stable then he will be put back in general population where he was." I said plopping down in a chair at one of the tables, I kicked off my heal and started to rub my feet.

"What do you mean if he can convince him?" Juice asked the obvious question.

"Well if Otto can convince them of real mental illness, he will be transferred to a lower security mental health facility and with a little therapy be back out in the world with the rest of us." I said smiling knowing that not one of them had consider as an option.

"You mean Otto could be coming home?" Clay asked in disableif.

"Yeah, he pulls an Oscar performance he will be home this time next year. I said back as they all seemed dumbfounded. "I told you…I am impressive." I said winking at Clay.

"This calls for a beer!" Bobby shouted behind the bar. Every one cheered and headed for the bar. A few minutes later Juice came over with a beer for me and sat down.

"Thanks Juice." I said smiling genuinely happy about the beer.

"That was pretty awesome shit you pulled up at the prison, sounds like we are gonna get Otto back soon, that's awesome." Juice said as we toasted out beer bottles and then took a drink.

"Can I ask you something?" Juice asked as I was trying to relax.

"What's up?" I said taking a another drink.

"Are you and Jax…you know, have you guys ever…" He asked embarrassed to say the words.

"Me and Jackson Teller? Wow…um, no…the last time I was home here in Charming, I was 9. And I hated boys in that way. Besides, from what I hear, Jax is more and more like his father than he knows…more woman than an episode taping of Oprah." I said making Juice laugh.

"Do you have…you know a…boyfriend?" Juice suddenly went from grown biker man, to blushing and nervous little boy. I was shocked and flattered.

"Uh, no I don't, but that is by choice. Hey, I wanted to say sorry about the other night at Gemma and Clay's. I will forever be 9 in their eyes, and still no one will ever be good enough." I said hoping he understood that it wasn't him, it was the situation and the fact that I wasn't looking for anything.

"I get it, it's nothing either of us can do about it. Jax is the VP and Prince around here and he gets first dibs…" Juice said and then shut up.

"Juice, you have a lot to learn about Jax Teller, and apparently so do I, but there is one thing I do know, is I am the FURTHEST things from Jax's type as they come." I said winking at him and he smiled. I suddenly thought of Gia in my mind, and made a mental note that they would be a cute couple, if she ever retired.

Juice and I talked a little more and I started to say my goodbye, I was beat and I just wanted to sleep.

"I'll take you home." Jax offered.

"Thanks, but I think I will be okay. I will call from my fancy new phone to let you know what I get there and that I am safe." I said giving hugs to the boys and saying good night.

"See ya tomorrow." They all yelled and I waved as I headed out to my car and got in. I just wanted to get out of the suit and sleep. I made it home fine and texted Jax and Clay that I was home safe and would see them tomorrow. I passed out immediately.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you again so much for the reviews! Hope you like the update. Should have another one for you this week! **

**Just a side note, I will be using some of the events from Seasons 1 and 2 (because I only have those two on dvd) and some I will make my own. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SOA or any of its characters, they belong to Kurt Sutter. Ronnie and Gia however are mine**.

It had been three weeks since the visit to Stockton Prison and Otto had passed the tests with flying colors and was schedule transfer was in a couple days. Clay was sending some SAMCRO to help escort the buss to the new mental hospital.

I had been busy as well.

I had sold my dad's house, it was a nice newlywed couple and they paid full price. I used some of that money to buy my own condo, and set up and office. The grand opening of it would be in a couple weeks.

Jax, Opie and I had become inseparable once again. If I wasn't with Jax, I was at Opie's and when all three of us were together it was just like old times. I helped Gemma out at the shop periodically, the paper work sometimes got over whelming and she needed help with billing and invoicing vendors and customers.

I was in the office waiting for Gemma to get in so I could take off; I had some errands to run when Opie came in the office.

"I thought today was your day off?" Op asked as he punched in.

"Me too, end of the month billing issues." I said laughing off the idea of a day off.

"You wanna grab lunch? Donna is coming and picking me up, you could come?" He offered. I think that they liked that Donna and I got a long. From what I gathered from Donna was that she didn't have that many friends and she wasn't close with anyone from the family so she was kinda left out a lot.

"Maybe, come find me when it's time." I said going back to the paperwork in front of me.

"Sounds good." He said and saw Gemma coming. "Boss lady is here." And he took off, seconds later Gemma came in with coffee.

"Oh good you have a jump on those, I swear I will learn one of these days." Gemma was such a liar. Now that I was home she knew she would never have to touch them again.

"Who in the hell has been organizing these damn things?" I said frustrated.

"Half sack and Chibs, why?" She asked taking off her sunglasses and put them on the desk. I sighed and decided that even though I had officially just moved to Charming, I already needed a vacation.

"Because I have no idea what alapbet they are using but the last time I checked it didn't go A, B, F!" I said tossing the stack down on the desk.

"Baby, why don't you go grab us coffee's and I will see if I can't re organize this." She said handing me money. I wanted to give it back but I didn't feel like getting hit. I grabbed my messenger bag and headed out to my car.

"Where you headed?" Jax asked as he pulled in and walked over as I got in the car and got situated.

"To get coffee for Gem. I'll be right back." I said turning over the engine of the Monte Carlo.

"Lunch today?" He asked as he backed away from the car.

"Maybe, Opie and Donna wanted to do lunch too." I said as I put the car in reverse and headed out to the end of the parking lot. When it was clear I headed to the local coffee shop.

"What do you think you are doing?" Jax smiled from ear to ear as he watched his mom try and sort through a mountain of paperwork and he had never seen her look more lost.

"You tell that Prospect and Chibs if they ever step foot in this office again I will kill them." Gemma said as she sat back in her chair in defeat. She had been trying to fix the boy's mistake but she feared she was only making it worse.

"Hey I need a favor…" He said leaning up against the door way to the office. He smiled his brilliant smile, the one his mother never could resist.

"What?" She asked not sure if she wanted to hear what he wanted but knew she was probably going to do whatever he asked anyway. She never could resist her baby boy.

"Can you try getting a hold of Wendy? I have been trying to call her and stopped by the house a couple times but I can't seem to get her to talk to me or answer my calls. I just wanna make sure she is taking care of my baby in her belly." He said worried, after that night at Gemma's he told they were done for good and that he filed the divorce papers, it would take a couple months to be final but they were done. Since then she hadn't been answer his calls or never seemed to be home when he stopped by. He told her she could have the house because he knew she had nowhere else to go.

"Yeah I will see about tracking her down when Ronnie gets back." Gemma said putting the papers back on the desk. "Have you gone over to the storage unit yet? I don't remember exactly what is in there, but whatever you want in there is yours."

"Thanks Ma," Jax said smiling and kissing her cheek. "You look out of your element here, what are you trying to do?" He asked trying not to laugh at her.

"I was trying to help Ronnie after Prospect and Chibs ruined everything she had worked on but I think I am more confused now than I was a couple minutes ago." Gemma said feeling guilty that she wasn't able be more help.

"She does have a way with this stuff, huh?" Jax said knowing that Ronnie had been working real hard to get things organized in the office so Gemma wouldn't have to work so hard. Before Gemma could answer, his prepaid began to chip.

"Hello? What? SHIT! I will be there shortly." Jax said, Gemma could tell from his face and his tone that he just got really bad news.

"Where's Clay?" He asked sternly.

"Club house, what's going on?" She yelled after him, as soon as he heard where he was Jax took off for the club house.

"Yes, can I please get a tall Camp Fire Mocha to go please?" I ordered and handed my cash over to the bored out of his mind teenager working the counter.

"It will be just a couple minutes, you can pick it up over there, here's your change." The kid said handing me back the money, I walked over to where the sign said "Pick up" and waited patiently.

"So the rumor mill is true, Veronica Seglar is back in Charming." I heard and looked over to my side seeing a man in uniform.

"And you are?" I said trying to plan a way out of the creepy officer asking me out.

"Wow, you don't remember me? I sat behind you all of 4th grade…Mrs. Edlestein's class…" He said and I tried to think really hard, and then it hit me.

"Hale? David Hale?" I said hoping my guess was right. I saw his smile widened and I had my answer.

"It's good to see you, I'm sorry about your dad." He said as everything about him softened.

"Thanks, you look well." I said not sure what to say, David Hale and I weren't exactly close, ever and now he was standing before me practically drooling and I wasn't sure how to handle this kind of male attention. Before He could say anything else, my prepaid started to ring and I saw it was Jax. "I have to take this, please excuse me." I said excusing myself by stepping a few paces away.

"Hello? What happened? Okay I will be there in ten." I said as closed the phone and put it back in my bag.

"Camp fire Mocha to go!" The girl behind the counter called out. I grabbed the cup, now to get around David.

"Well David, I have to go, that was work and I really have to go. It was nice seeing you again, we'll…catch up later?" I asked half way out the door, I didn't mean to be rude, I just needed to get back like yesterday to the Shop, I didn't like the tone in Jax's voice and knew there was trouble.

I got back to the garage and everyone was headed in to the club house.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked as I dropped Gemma's coffee off.

"No, but I know it's big, you better get in there, it's serious." Gemma said shewing me off to the club house. Half the time I think she used me as a spy to find out what Clay wouldn't tell her, and half the time she thought I was there for decoration.

I hurried over to the club house, and sat down as everyone was already in the room around the table.

"We got HUGE problems." Clay said looking to Jax.

"Our gun wearhouse just blew up." Jax said and everyone in the room lost it. Running guns was the main sources of income, until I could get this legitimate club business off the ground.

"Are there any leads?" I asked.

"All signs point to Mayans. Tramill is going to meet us up at the site as soon as we are done here." Jax said as he was the one that Deputy Tramill had called.

"Well then you, Ronnie, Juice, Tig, and myself will head up there and get the low down and survey the damage. The rest of you hit the streets and find out for sure who did this." Clay said slamming the gavel down and everyone headed out.

"Jax, She can't bring the car…" Clay said knowing it would be too easy to trace it back to the Sons, it just wasn't smart. Plus with it being the first time that Tramill met Ronnie and he had to know she was apart of the club and she had to be on a bike.

"I'll take Red, you take my bike." Jax said and Clay nodded in a agreence.

"Red?" I asked surprised.

"It's seems only fitting. You remember how to handle one of these?" Jax asked as he handed her a helmet.

"Just how I handle my men, squeeze my thighs and hold on for dear life." I said starting it up and staking off after Clay.

"I think I am in love." Juice said just loud enough for Jax to hear him. He shook his head and took off after her. Clay lead in front with Ronnie to his left and Jax to his right, the rest of the club fell into line behind them.

The site was an absolute disaster. There was nothing left but shell casing and burnt wood. The damage alone would cost them huge, and not to mention they didn't have insurance on the place so to find a new place would cost them big time. Even a rebuild would be pricey and pretty much wipe them out.

Jax and Clay were both fuming. I could see the anger in their eyes and knew that Tig, who was on watch at the site should have prevented this, although he was too busy having the illegals who worked for them service his dick.

"How much watch is this gonna get?" Clay asked Tramil. I knew that SAMCRO had cops on the pay roll, I just didn't know it extended to the outskirts of Charming.

"Well I heard on the scanner that Hale and his goons are headed this way with a forensics team…" He said knowing what kind of response that would get.

"Son of a bitch." Clay said sternly.

"Hale? As in David Hale?" I asked still being new back in town still was a little rough on details like this.

"Deputy David Hale, when Chief steps down next month David becomes the new Chief, and he has been trying to shut down Samcro since the day he got a badge." Bobby explained which made the want or need to reconnect with David Hale even less of a priority for me.

"This is out of his jurisdiction." I said to Tramil. He just looked at me and then to Jax.

"Tramill this is Ronnie, Our new council member, she is right under me on the food chain so it's important you know her." Jax explained as everyone began to wander around and look at stuff.

"It is out of his jurisdiction, but that's not going to stop Hale, he wants SAMCRO dead and will stop at nothing to make that happen." Tramill explaned.

"We will just have to see about that." I said as I started to wonder too. I saw a mental piece on the floor that had no fire damage to it at all and there was a metal chain attached to it. I pulled it up and the door came open to reveal the contents.

"CLAY!" I yelled, the smell of burnt flesh was almost too much, but compared to my life in Vegas this was nothing.

"What the fuck?" Jax said coming over and seeing two dead female bodies, they were positioned as if they were holding each other when they died.

"We have to get these out of here now." Clay said knowing that this would give Hale all the ammo he needed for a warrant and then jail.

"Hale's ETA on the radio said 20 minutes." Juice said as he had been over my Tramil's police scanner listening.

"We have to get out of here, Tramil, keep them away from this spot." Jax said as he rounded everyone up and we headed for the bikes.

"This has Mayan's written all over it." Bobby said as they all started up the bikes.

"I know, Juice, set it up." Clay said and then took off. Jax and I followed with everyone else falling into place. I wasn't sure what to think of the mess that was before us now. I knew that the clean up wouldn't be easy at all.

We got back to the garage and Opie and the Prospect came out. I parked Jax's bike back where it belonged, next to Clay and I went to get Juice's laptop, I had some researching to do.

"Where's Ronnie?" Opie asked worried as he didn't see her in the mesh of bikers out in the driveway.

"She took off to find Juice's laptop, where's Clay?" Asked Bobby.

"There with Gemma." Jax said and they all headed over there.

"Meet with the Mayans is set for today at 3:00 the Eco park." Bobby reported in. "I called Leory to set up a meeting but they wouldn't answer. This has to be because we sold that custom order to them." Bobby said refreshing everyone's mind.

"Yeah I know." Clay said looking to the ground. Without their wearhouse they were majorly screwed, even if they could get guns now, they would have no where to stash them.

"Who do you want at the meet with Alvarez?" Bobby asked knowing he had to tell those men first and tell them the time. Clay sighed and knew no one would like his decision but this was how it was going to be.

"Opie, Juice, Happy, Trigger, you, Chibs, Jax and Ronnie."

"No way, you can't let Ronnie come, it's too dangerous." Jax said immediately hating the idea.

"You know I never butt into club business, but she's not ready for this." Gemma whispered into Clay's ear.

"You know whatever you say is what will happen, but I am not so sure about this one…" Bobby said being loyal as ever, he did have his doubts though.

"Look, we gave her the spot in the club because we all voted and said she could handle it, this is what this club is. I am not going to baby her, and I will not tell her she can't do what the rest of the members do. She's going it's final." Clay said and started to walk away. "Make sure she had a piece before we leave here."

Jax looked over at Bobby for some back up, but all Bobby did was shrug his shoulders and follow in the direction. Jax knew in his head that Clay being the President he called the shots, but this one Jax wasn't completely comfortable with. Jax looked to Gemma to make sense of his decision, but she couldn't say anything, she knew her place and knew she had already stepped on Clay's toes by saying what she did a few minutes ago.

"Shit." Jax huffed and walked over to the garage where Opie was to fill him in on everything.


	9. Chapter 9

"What exactly are you looking for?" Juice asked as he watched over Ronnie's shoulder, she was cruising different rental property sights.

"Several things. Hope it's okay that I grabbed your laptop, I guess I need to invest in one myself." Ronnie said not looking away from the screen once, she was on a mission and she knew what she had find.

"Oh I don't mind. You want something to drink?" Juice offered as he made his way behind the bar.

"Bottle of water please." Ronnie said as her fingers flew over the keys. Juice handed her the bottle of water and realized what she was doing and was fascinated that she knew where to find this information.

"Juice, do you see what I do?" Ronnie said smiling at the information in front of her.

"I do, and it's brilliant!" He said smiling from ear to ear. Before anything else could be said Jax came through the door of the club house and found them at the bar.

"We need to talk." He was upset about something, and Ronnie nodded and closed the laptop and gave it back to Juice and followed Jax back outside, she followed him all the way to Opie's stall in the garage.

"What's going on? Cryptic never really was your strong suit." Ronnie said coming into the garage and nodded at Op as he put down the tool he was using and started to wipe off his hands.

"We have a meet with the Mayans in a couple hours, Clay wants you there at the meet and I think it's a bad idea." Jax never was really shy about his thoughts or emotions. He saw Ronnie smile but his gut told him that it was because of anger then agreence with his statement.

"Why is it a bad idea Jax?" Ronnie asked crossing her arms over her chest. Yup, she was pissed.

"You don't know these guys like we do, you have no idea what we are walking into and that's dangerous." He said looking at Op and then back to Ronnie who was fuming mad.

"I am gonna say this once, and I hope you both hear me because I won't say it again. I am not nine years old anymore, and despite what you two think you know about me, you have NO IDEA what my life has been like or what I have been through. Things I have seen and had to endure would make those pretty little son's heads of yours spin. What I can handle and what I can't is my decision." Ronnie spat with venom at both of them, and then without a chance to let them argue with her she turned and left. She went back to the club house and they both watched her until she disappeared behind the door.

"Shit." Jax swore as he knew that he had really pissed her off, but he couldn't help it. He still didn't think she should be at the meet, there were too many things that could go wrong.

"Maybe she's right…" Opie said backing up a little as Jax and gave him a look of betrayl. "She has a point that we have no idea what her life was like after they took her from here, maybe she can hold her own,

how will we know if we don't let her try?" Opie defended himself. He admitted to himself that he felt the way Jax did and wanted nothing more than to have here stay here with Gemma where they knew she would be completely safe but also was well aware that she wasn't the little girl they always hovered over and protected. He for one knew that she really did what she said she did in Vegas she might be okay here with the club and handling business.

"And what happens Op if we are all wrong, including her. What happens if something god forbid to her? I can't live with that, can you?" Jax asked as he heard what Opie was saying and there was some sense to it, but the urges to protect her would always be there no matter how old she got or how much she could or couldn't hold her own. She would always be really special to him and he would die before he let anything happen to her.

Opie just shook his head. This was out of his and Jax's hands so he was hoping Jax would figure out a way to be at peace with it before they left, the last thing all of them needed was him pre-occupied at a meeting with the Mayans.

"What are you doing up here?" I heard Clay ask as he was huffing and puffing. He remembered he would climb that latter numerous times when she was little to fetcher down from the roof. She always came here when she was upset and wanted some time alone.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked more annoyed then intended.

"Of course." He said as he sat down next to me still trying to catch his breath.

"Do you trust me?" I asked blatantly, I was in no mood any longer for beating around the bush.

"What the hell kinda question is that?" I could tell he was offended but I was pissed and hurt and didn't know how or who else to talk to about this.

"This meeting in an hour, do you trust that I can hold my own in it?" I asked more detailed, I knew Clay hated drama with anyone so I tried to make it as general as I could.

"Honestly, I don't know. But you seem to have a hold on things, I mean you went to Vegas and handled your business there just fine, I guess this is my way of finding out just how well you can or can't but the only way I am going to know is to throw you out there and see if you can." Clay said as he was finally catching his breath. I tried to think of it from his point of view and I could see the hesitation there, and I guess if I never tell anyone what I have been through, how would they know that I was more than capable of holding my own in these type of situations.

"What's going on?" He asked simply and although there was a simple answer but I didn't know how to explain it. Jax was the prince of this club, his father basically built this club, and it was in Jax's destiny to one day run this club. How was supposed to break one of the cardinal club rules and speak out against one of the higher archiey.

"Some of the members of this club feel that it would be better if I stayed here and not went to the meeting, and I was just wondering as the president of this club how you felt. If you believe in me, I will go to this meeting and I will take care of business. If you have one shadow of a doubt, let me know now and I will stay back with Gemma, because the last thing any of us need is for anyone to be destracted during this worrying about pettly shit that shouldn't even matter." I spoke with conviction and heart, it was hard to admit but my feelings were hurt but I would do what was best for the club and if that meant that I stayed back with Gemma than so be it. But it me it would be Clay's decision not anyone else's.

"Let me guess, Jax and Opie?" He said with a side smile. I didn't even answer him, I just looked down over to Opie's stall where Jax and Opie were.

"Come here, I wanna give you something." I was in no mood for presents, let alone be taken out of my god given right to be angry and alone, but Clay was like my father and so I did as I was raised, listen.

Clay took me down the club house and into the room where we always gathered for our meetings, and there lying in the middle of our table covering the reaper craved into the middle of the table laid a cut. Just my size, and with my very own patches on it.

Clay picked it up with his two index fingers and held it before me, it was the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I ran my fingers over the patches with my name on it, and then saw something I never thought I would. Right underneath the patch that read "Ronnie" there was a patch that said "Lieutenant" he was making me apart of the higher archey. I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes even if I wanted to, this was too much of an honor.

"Clay…" I started to talk but the minute I did the tears started to run down my cheeks so I just shut up and took some deep breathes.

"Does this prove to you that I want and need you there today?" He said more serious than I had seen him since I had gotten back. And that was all I needed for an answer. I knew I had Clay behind me and it no longer mattered what Jax, Opie or anyone else in this club had to say or feel about it, she was going and she would do her job.

"Thank you Clay." Was all I could get out. He held it open for me so I could slip it on and it fit like it was made for me. It was perfect.

"Now, go get cleaned up and ready, I will have juice get you a piece before we leave here. We leave in 30 minutes." Clay said and I nodded. I quickly wiped away the tears in my eyes and on my face. I knew I had a bag of clothes in Jax's old room and knew I had to change. I didn't know we would have to handle business today so the halter top and heals I had on wouldn't work.

As I headed up to my room the smiles on the all the guys that I passes let me know that I had approval from not only Clay but the rest of them, all but the two people I wished supported me. I got Jax's room and changed into a v-neck plain black shirt that fit to my body, and some darker blue jeans. My boots were back at the condo and all I had was my white addidas. I left my hair down, but grabbed a hair binder and put in on my wrist in case I needed it. I slipped my cut back on and headed out to find Juice.

"Wow." Juice said as I found him around the back of garage. I couldn't help but smile.

"That better be a good wow." I said putting my hands in the back pockets of my jeans.

"It's a very good thing…" Juice said as his smile got bigger. He was cute but not my type…I wasn't even sure if I had a 'type' anymore.

"Clay said to see you about a piece?" I said trying not to blush under Juice's flattery. He was cute I would give him that, but I wasn't looking for that kind of attention and not with Juice, he was more like my little brother, and the more I got to know him, the more I thought he would be perfect with my girl Gia.

"Follow me." He said and I did. He took me down to the basement of the club house and there was the club's private stock of guns, it was amazing. I ended up chosing a standard 9mm glock. I was familiar with it and knew that it was perfect for what were going out to do. I slipped it under my cut in the back.

"You tell Clay about what you found yet?" He asked as we came out of the basement.

"Not yet, let's take care of this meeting first and then I can tell him." I said and parted with Juice and went to find Gemma who was out front with the rest of the guys as they all started to get ready to leave.

I walked out to where Clay and Gemma were and was not expecting the cheers and shouting of encouragement I got from the club members, I guess this cut really was my destiny, it was nice to know that they guys supported me wearing it all…well most of them anyway.

I as I got to Clay and Gemma Jax and Opie came up too. I refused to look at Jax, but Opie gave me a big smile and nodded, I took that as a sign that he approved of the cut too.

"So what's the plan?" Jax asked as Juice, Bobby and Happy came over as well, Happy drapped his arm over my shoulders and told me he was proud of me.

"We ride in, Alavarez and I will do all the talking, I don't want no interference, I will work this out, if shit hits the fan, we get out of there quick." Clay said making sure everyone understood. " We get info we need and then get out of there, we deal with retaliation for what they did later." Clay said and when he knew everyone understood he told us to mount up. As much as I wanted to shoot myself in the head more than go talk to Jax, I had to.

"If you want your bike back, I can ride dad's for this one." I said very sullen and aggravated. I made my own decision then and there that I was buying my own bike tomorrow.

"Naw, ride mine, it's better fit for you." He said throwing me the keys to his bike. I laughed out of frustration and headed over to the line of bikes and got on Jax's and started to get ready. I put the helmet on and make sure to put in my riding gloves.

"I feel like I am watching you go off to college." I heard suddenly next to me. It almost made me laugh.

"I don't think they let you have guns at college." I said with a smile. I saw the emotion in her eyes and changed my approach.

"You becareful out there, you are all I have and closest I will get to having a daughter, I need you back in one piece." Gemma said grabbing my face on either side and making me look at her.

"I'll be fine." I said back to her and started up the bike. She gave Clay a quick kiss good bye and Jax too and then we pulled out. I had to admit they weren't butterflies, but the reality or what we were about to do was settling in and my adrenaline was up and I was suddenly very anxious.

The ride to the meeting site was smooth but I could tell everyone was on edge, their alerts were up and that made me pay attention even more.

To my surprise, we pulled into a park that was just outside of Charming. It seemed very public except for the fact that the minute we parked our bikes all of the families that were on the playgrounds were instantly gone from them.

We got off our bikes and I followed right behind Clay as I was instructed.

"Stay close to me." I heard Jax whisper to me and I wanted to punch him, but I kept my eyes forward and followed Clay.

"You wanna tell me what this is all about?" I watched as the man with the mustache and heavy Latin accent spoke to Clay. I wanted to smack him for his arrogance but knew I had to keep my own emotions in check. I was not in charge and I had to follow the plan.

"I think you know exactly what this is all about." Jax spoke up from Clay's right side; I was placed firmly on his left. Clay threw him a look that told him to shut up without words.

"Well well well…looks like you have wised up and finally put something woth while to look at in your club." Alvarez said with a creepy smile as he made eye contact with me.

"Watch it." I heard Clay warn Alvarez as he got up from the picnic table and walked up to me. I could feel the Son's behind me on high alert, all of them looking for the smallest reason to pull their guns and end the Mayans club right then and there.

"Es tu mui bonita…" He said in Spanish, and I didn't know what he said, but I didn't like it, I stood my ground and let him circle me. I wasn't scared just trying to restrain my urge to beat the hell out of him, I didn't want to go against Clay.

"Are we gonna talk? Or are you gonna stand there and do something that will force me to end you?" Clay spoke up from where he stood in front of me. I smiled a little at his strength as Alvarez came back in front of me.

"Ronnie…" He read my cut and I wanted to punch him. "If you even get tired of being apart of this…group…you come see me." He said and slide his finger down my cheek, I swatted away at his hand and from there everything happened in slow motion.

I watched as the men across the table behind Alavarez went for something inside their cuts, They were both looking over to Jax who was focused on me, Alavarez backed up and I saw the guns before anyone else because all focus was on where I was, I saw them cock the guns and I took off, My feet felt like concrete, but I knew I had to get to Jax, he wasn't even paying attention to anything but me.

I heard the popping sounds as I tackled Jax to the ground, it wasn't until we were on the ground that I felt the burning in my shoulder. As soon as we hit the ground I felt Jax's arms go around me and hold me in place as the sound of gun fire exploded, and after that came the sounds of motorcycle engines roar to life and then there was silence.

I felt Jax flip us over so that I was now on the bottom and I felt a rush of pain shoot throughout my back and I screamed a blood curdling scream.

"She's hit, we have to get her out of here." I heard and I tried to suck it up but the pain was unbearable.

"Put her on your bike and get back to the club house now." Clay barked. Juice and Opie helped get me on Jax's bike and I did all I could to hold on to Jax but the pain was intense. I was supposed to stay awake but my eyes were heavy, and I was losing the battle.

"We should be in there." Jax hissed as he was pacing in front of the bar where Clay, Gemma, and Bobby sat watching him. He had been going back and forth for the past hour. They were all worried about her but Jax was inconsolable. 

"Give Chibs a chance to work." Clay said trying to get Jax to sit down, take a shot, or do something other than pace, he was starting to give him a headache.

*scream* 

Everyone turned towards the room, the doors were closed, it was the second time she had screamed like that in a hour and every time she did, it wore down on Jax ten times harder. He wrapped his hands around the back of his head and tried to breath. 

"That's it I'm going in…" He said and made a bee line for the doors. 

"No!" Clay yelled and Opie and Bobby stopped him right at the doors. 

"I can't do this, I can't just sit here and do nothing." Jax yelled and stormed out of the club house, Opie was hot on his heals when Gemma stopped him. 

"Let me go Op." Gemma said squeezing his shoulder. Opie nodded and Gemma walked out the door and found Jax sitting on the table right out side the door. She had never seen him this upset about one of the members getting hurt. She knew they talk they had a few weeks ago, her son was falling in love with his child hood friend and didn't know how to handle it, let alone admit to it. 

"Jax, talk to me. What was that all about?" Gemma asked him as she stood in front of his as he cradled his face in his hands. 

"Mom, I can't handle this…that should be me in there, not her." He said as tears were pouring from his eyes. It had been a long time since Gemma saw her son cry, it had been years, she hated seeing him so upset so she decided that she was going to help him through this. 

"I understand you feel that way, but that's not how it happened. You need to be calm. Chibs will patch her up and she will be fine. You freaking out like this makes no sense. I know you care about her but you are acting strange about all this, now what's going on with you?" Gemma already know the answer but she needed Jax to admit it to himself. 

"I don't know ma, it's all changed, everything has changed. I mean I have all these feelings and I shouldn't. I mean Ronnie and I grew up like brother and sister…it's not right for me to have these feeling…right?" Jax said desperately trying to understand what he was feeling. The past few weeks, she had come back into his life, changed…she was a woman now, she was a strong and smart but still the funny silly and caring Ronnie he knew back then. She had helped him face his lingering feelings for Tara and he was finally able to leave her behind him. He didn't miss her all the time now, he didn't see her face in his dreams anymore, and he didn't see her face anytime he slept with a woman. There was no more void in his heart where she used to be. 

"What kind of feelings baby? I know things have changed between the two of you, but I can't help you unless you tell me what you are going through…" Gemma knew he was close, he just needed to trust what was in his heart. 

"Ma, I think…I'm falling in love with her…" Jax said as he said it for the first time out loud. For days now he had been going over it in his head but couldn't make sense of it. He needed to talk to someone but who would understand? Who would help him, it was too the point now where he couldn't avoid it not after today. 

*scream* 

"AWWWW! FUCK CHIBS!" I screamed as he laid the piping hot steal from his knife across my open wound in the back. He had confirmed that it was a through and through and there was no bullet or bullet fragments in the wound and he had cleaned it. Now the only thing left to do was sealing it, which he had done in the back and I couldn't believe the pain. The tears were unstoppable and the worst part of it was that he kept apologizing. 

"Hang in there lassie, almost done. I just have to reheat the blade seal the front and put some bandages on. You are going to be sore for the next couple of days but you will heal just fine." Chibs said putting the knife back into the fire. 

"It feels like my whole back in on fire Chibbs." I said trying to suck up the tears and the pain but it was overwhelming, I was starting to get dizzy. 

"It will pass. Hang in there." He said pushing my hair out of my tears. 

"Get Clay and some whisky, if I am gonna make it through you doing the front I am going to need both." I said taking deep breath and trying to calm myself down. 

"Alright, you just wait here." He said kissing the top of her head and heading outside the door, everyone stood at attention the moment he came out, I could hear everything. 

"Jesus, look at your hands, is she okay?" Clay asked seeing Chibs was coated in blood from his hands to his elbows. 

"She's gonna be okay, it was a through and through and I have cleaned it out and sealed the back, but I am gonna need help with sealing the front. She is barely conscious now, and this will probably cause her to pass out. She's asking for you and some whisky." Chibs said directly to Clay, it took him a moment but he nodded and went to the bar where Juice handed him a bottle of Jack. 

"Where's Jackie boy?" Chibbs asked as Clay walked by him with the bottle. 

"Outside getting some air with Gemma." Bobby said motioning with his head towards the door. 

"Alright, Juice work on getting her some pain meds, she is going to need them." Chibs said and he and Clay disappeared behind the door and back in the room. 

"You doing okay?" Clay asked as I saw him come around to the front of me and handed me the bottled of Jack already opened. I took the bottle and took the biggest drink I could stand before the burning got too bad. 

"I'm okay, just hurts like shit." I said closing my eyes. "Will you please hold my hands?" Clay was the closest thing I ever had for a father and needed this strength and influence now more than ever. 

"You squeeze all you want to, I'm right here." Clay said as he kissed my forehead. 

"We are ready to go when you are Ronnie." Chibs chimed in and panic and adrenaline started to surge through my body instantly. Clay gave Chibs the sign to hold off for a minute. 

"Ronnie…Ronnie look at me." Clay said and tilited my head up to look at him. "Thank you, thank you for doing what you did today. You saved Jax and I can't thank you enough. Now we are here for you and you earned a whole new set of rights in this club. Now drink some more and we will get you patched up." Clay said and wiped away the falling tears from my eyes. I nodded downed more jack to where it was almost half gone and took Clay's hands. I took a few deep breathes and cloed by eyes, I couldn't watch Chibbs do this let alone see him coming. 

"That a girl just keep breathing." I heard Chibs say right before the searing pain returned and I screamed again, then blackness came over me again. 

"Oh baby, I have known you were falling in love with her the first day she was back. And so what you grew up like siblings? She has been gone from Charming for fifteen years. You grew up apart but that doesn't make the bond that you had with her any less, and it's natural for those kind of feeling to become more. You guys have been inseperable since she got home and it's understandable." Gemma tried to comfort her son, let him know this was all gonna be okay. 

"But mom, I can't be in love with Ronnie, there's no way she feels the same." Jax said pushing his feelings to the side because of fear. 

"Jackson John Teller, that girl in there just took a bullet for you and saved your life, if that isn't love, I don't know what is. That girl loves you in every way that matters, you can't deny this love, she's not Tara, she's not leaving and she won't hurt you. She is your other half. She knows this life, hell she was destined for this life just as you were. This is what is supposed to be. Let it happen." Gemma said looking her son in the eyes. She knew he was there, he just had to allow it to be okay, and maybe in the way she put it, he would. 

"You're right. She took a fucking bullet for me. Jesus, I am in love with Veronica Seglar." Jax said outloud almost laughing at himself. He grabbed his mom in a hug and felt more weight lift off his shoulders…. 

*Screams* 

"That's it, I don't care if she wants me in there or not, I can't listen to this and not be in there anymore." Jax said running out of his mother's arms and into the club house. Every time she screamed it felt like someone was squeezing his heart and ripping it out of him. He marched right passed everyone and went in the room. 

"He admit it?" Bobby asked her as she came to take a shot from the bar. 

"Finally." She said and turned her attention to the door where Jax had disappeared too. 

"Is she okay?" Jax said as his breath caught in his chest. He came into the room and Ronnie was unconscious. He would never forgive himself if she wasn't okay. 

"She gonna be okay?" Opie desperately asked. 

"Yeah, Chibbs said she passed out from the pain." Jax said sniffling and wiping away the tears from his eyes. "I'm in love with her Op." Jax said and his shoulders started to shake as he was overwhelmed with emotion. 

"I know man, it's a good thing. I am glad she's gonna be okay." Opie said hugging his friend. He heard Jax take a deep breath and he pulled away. 

"Why don't you go get some sleep, I'll watch her for a while." Opie said looking over to the bed where if they didn't see the sheets moving up and down from her breathing you would swear she was dead. 

"No, I am not leaving her side until she wakes up, go home, I am sure Donna is freaking out, I'll call you as soon as she wakes up." Jax said wiping his face with his sweatshirt. "Can you tell Prospect to get to work on fixing her cut, I know she will want it asap." Jax said taking some deep breathes and calming himself down. 

"Will do brother. Call me in the morning. I will be here in minutes if you need anything." Opie said and headed for the door. 

"Thanks Brother." Jax said and when the door to closed to his room and they were alone, he pulled up a chair he had in his room next to the bed and picked up her hand and placed it in his. He rubbed the back of it for a few minutes before placing a kiss on it.


	10. Chapter 10

"Jax…." Was the first thing I could think of to say when I woke up and all I could feel was pain. When I got no response, I moved my fingers, it was painful and took a lot of energy but as soon as he fingers moved Jax's face and voice were in front of her. 

"Hey, you okay?" He said still trying to get his eyes to focus. 

"It hurts Jax, it hurts all over." I said trying not to cry. He ran his hand over my heard in comfort. I closed my eyes at the feel of his skin on mine. 

"Shh, don't cry. I'll be right back, okay?" He said softly and assuringly. I let go of his hand and focused on breathing through the pain, my shoulder was throbbing. I heard him yell for Chibbs and moments later it was Chibs face leaning over me. 

"Aw beautiful, how you feeling?" Chibs asked taking my pulse. 

"Pain, lots of it Chibbs, help please." I begged as he pinched my wrist and watch his watch.

"Here, these should help with the pain." I heard Juice enter the room and had Chibs some pills.

"Help me get her up?" Chibs said as he took one of my hands and slipped his hand underneath me and Jax took my other side duplicating the same thing. They did a count down and slowly and unfortunately painful I was helped to sit up. I took some deep breathes and downed the pills, it was then that I realized I was still in just my bra, and pulled the sheets up over my chest.

"Glad to see you are okay kiddo." Happy said as the room was now full of my fellow brothers and Sons. I gave him a small smile back.

"Hey, we have church in about twenty." Opie said informing everyone and they all took off leaving me, Chibbs, Bobby, Opie and Jax in the room.

"You gave us a scare lassie." Chibs said patting my leg. The pain meds were starting to take effect and I was able to breath easier.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't really thinking about anything once I saw the guns, I just reacted." I defended myself as well as taking any blame that anyone wanted to place on me.

"Hey, give us a minute? We'll meet you downstairs." Jax tried to phrase as a question but came out more as a demand, yet the guys all got his drift and waved bye and left us alone in the room, Opie closed the door behind him. I wasn't sure why, but the moment it was just Jax and I were alone I was able to relax just a little more, I knew there was probably things he had to say to me.

"The pills kicking in?" Jax asked as he came back over to the side of my bed and handed me a shirt.

"Yeah must be, I can move around pretty good." I said as I carefully put on the shirt I noticed that one of Jax's shirts and wondered where my bag was.

"I wanted to say this last night but they wouldn't let me in the room, and then you passed out from the pain, but I wanted to say thank you." He said as he took my hand in his. I could tell he was having a hard time with this.

"Jax, you don't have to…" I started to say and then he stopped me again.

"Yes I do have to. Ronnie, you could have died, I knew you shouldn't have been there in the first place, and if someone would have listened to me this never would have happened, and you wouldn't have had to take that bullet for me." His voice hardened and his face changed. He went from concerned and sympathy to almost confrontational.

"Jax…" I tried to intervene again before he said something that he couldn't take back but he kept going.

"I mean what the fuck were you thinking?" Jax was now on his feet and pacing and the more he did and the more he said the angrier I got…

"Excuse me? I didn't know I needed a reason or an excuse to save your life, what is your problem?"

"My problem? Ronnie, you could have died because you made a stupid decision. Do you realize you could be dead right now? And all because you didn't think before you acted! What about Gemma and Clay? Do you have any idea what you put them and the rest of us through all because of what you did?" He said now yelling at me, I was hurt, I was angry and most of all I felt disrespected.

"You know what, fuck you Jackson Teller. I was there because I belonged there and I took that bullet for you because unlike you I care about people, there was no time to react, if I would have stopped to think about it, your mother would be burying yet another man in her life, I thought sparing her that horrific experience was the LEAST I could do being that she has never been anything but nice to me." I said as I carefully got off the bed and grabbed some sweats from the floor. I didn't much care if they were clean, all I cared about what getting out of his face and down to the meeting. I was done with this conversation.

"Don't do that, don't bring Gemma into this…" He shot back as he walked towards me, I winced in pain as I put my socks and shoes on but I motioned for him to stop.

"I didn't, you brought her into this. You know what Jax, I didn't expect anything dramatic like a hug or anything like that, but a little more gratitude for caring about your life enough to save it so that you can be a father to your son, or to be the leader and future of this club, but this was no at all what I expected." I said as I left the room and did what I could to slam the door but my grip on my left hand was weak and it barely closed, I made my way down the hall and rounded the corner by Jax's father's old bike when I heard Jax yell after me, I completely ignored him and made my way to the room.

"Hey your up and about." Gemma said stepping in my way right before I got to the door.

"Yeah, I am really sore but They got me some pain meds so everything is tolerable. Hey can you do me a favor?" I asked her hating to because I knew she had already done so much for me.

"Name it baby." She said as she pushed some hair behind my ears. Her smile was so warm and I just wanted her to hold me but I had to go into this meeting cold and strong.

"Can you pack up my stuff from Jax's room while I am in the meeting? I need to go home for a little while, I will rest better if I am in my own place, my own bed." I said seeing the disappointment in her eyes.

"You're not going back there alone, not after what just happened." Gemma said holding me by the shoulders.

"I'll take someone with me, Juice I am sure Juice or Chibs will come with me, Gemma I need to just be home for a couple of hours. Please?" I begged her trying to stop the tears from forming in my stomach but they weren't listening. I saw her think it over and nodded her head.

I looked over her shoulder and saw Jax emerge from the hallway. I looked back to her and in a colder tone.

"Thanks Gemma, see you after the meeting." I said as I turned and went straight into the room.

"What happened?" Gemma asked Jax as he came up next to her, as moments before Ronnie had scurried off with a look of danger.

"I think I fucked up." Jax said and walked through the doors of the room and closed the door behind him, Gemma shook her head went off to Jax's room to pack.

"You feeling okay?" Clay asked Ronnie as he saw her take her time in sitting down, he was surprised she was at the table, he expected her to take the morning off and rest, but then again she was a Seglar and Stubborn was basically her middle name.

"Sore but I will live, thank you Clay, you know for being there for me last night, it couldn't have been easy." I said quietly as I wasn't ashamed of what I was saying just wanted it to be more of a personal thank you from me to Clay.

"It was my pleasure, I am just happy you are okay." He said backing up and sitting straight up, I saw what cause him to back off and Jax was walking around the table towards his seat and I was cursing who ever set up the seating chart for this damn table.

"We need to talk." He said sitting down next to me in his chair. I didn't make eye contact I just stayed focused on Clay.

"Later." I said and Clay called the meeting to order.

"First off, Ronnie, you showed real heart yesterday and I for one am thankful for you dedication, and we are all happy you are gonna be okay." Clay said as people around the room started to clap, I was officially mortified.

"Thanks Clay and thank you Chibs, I can't even think about what would have happened if you weren't here." I flashed him a genuine smile, and I saw him wink at me, I knew he understood what I was trying to say.

"Now, I sent most of you out to get confirmation what we all knew what true, and we got it. So tonight we take their warehouse. Opie, you bring the fireworks, I want Bobby, Trigger, Prospect, Juice and Jax. We leave at 10:00, DO NOT BE LATE." Clay said pointing to each of them to make his point clear.

"And Me." I spoke up, probably shouldn't have but they weren't taking this away from me.

"Aw…no, you are not coming." Clay said and Jax dropped his head.

"Aw, yes I am." I said fighting this tooth and nail.

"Ronnie…you have two holes in your body, you are in no shape or form to be out there tonight, don't worry we will get them for what they did to you and to our warehouse, I can promise you that." Clay said being firm with me, and I appreciated the gesture but I wasn't backing down.

"EXACTLY! One of those mother fuckers shot me Clay, and they would have killed Jax…there is no way in hell I am sitting this one out." I told him and I made sure that my tone told him either I went with them as a group or I would drive there myself to make sure I got my revenge.

"I think she is right," Chibs said backing me up, the last person I expected but it was better then me doing it alone. "We take her with, and she takes out the guys you shot her, we do the rest. You can't blame her for wanting this." Chibs said in his haste. I knew he understood my side and was so touched that he wanted to fight for me.

"And what if you get hurt again?" Jax asked from my side.

"Won't you all be there?" I asked trying to make him see it wasn't like I was asking to go alone.

"Yeah but…" He started to say.

"Well then, you have my back and there is nothing to be worried about then. Come on you guys, I need this." I said knowing there was no way I would be willing or able to move on with my life if I didn't handle this now, besides none of them knew what I was capable of if they didn't let me do it the official way.

"Fine, you come with, but you only get to kill the bastards who shot you, other than that you stay in the back ground and do exactly as I say." Clay ordered and I nodded it was better than nothing and who knew what would happen, maybe I could end up helping Opie with the explosives to stay out of the way, but still serve my purpose.

"Anything else?" Clay asked to the table.

"Yeah, actually….I found a temporary spot for your next supply and what's left from the other warehouse on temp basis, you know until we figure out something else." I said looking over to Juice and he nodded giving me that little bit of extra nerve to say this.

"Where?" Clay asked curious more now then ever. I slid over a piece of paper to him with an address on it, I knew he would reckognize it and waited for the reaction.

"Jorry's place?" Clay asked in disbelief.

"Uncle Jorry has a strip club off route 101 and according to the public record floor plan, has a basement with several large rooms that were supposed to be used for storage but are empty now. It would be perfect until we either build a new wearhouse, or figure out what we are doing." I explained, my lawyer side had kicked in and I laid it all out on the table.

"That would mean, patching them over, they could use the protection from the Mayans, especially after what we do to them tonight…Jax call and set up a meeting tomorrow. Good work kiddo." Clay said and suddenly my heart sank into my stomach. I never meant for Clay to patch over Jorry's club, I just thought because of the history and the bond between the two clubs we could just ask for a favor. I was no starting to think I had made a big mistake. Clay hit the gavel and dismissed the meetings. I got up and headed out of the room.

"Here you go baby, now who's going with you?" Gemma said handing me my bag. And before I could even inhale to answer her, his hand was on my elbow and he had taken my bag.

"I will stay with her," He said with confidence and determination on his face, I was too tired and sore to fight him right now, I needed another pain med. "You get a hold of Wendy?" He asked as I walked a few feet and then stopped when I realized he wasn't with me.

"NO answer, I am heading over there tomorrow morning." Gemma said as she kissed his son on the cheek good bye. "You watch her and don't let her out of your sight." She made it very clear what his assignment was and I just rolled my eyes.

I hopped on the back of Jax's bike and held on as he drove me home. He avoided all the major bumbs but the ones that were unavoidable were excruciating. I didn't mean to squeeze him that tight every time we hit one but it was either that or scream.

"Where you going?" He asked as he locked my front door behind him.

"Shower, wanna watch?" I said with venom in my voice. I hated that he was here right now.

"Watch what you offer, we need to talk." He said actually following me through my house to my bed room where I was headed to the master bath that was connected to my room. I got the shirt off and started the water as I realized he wasn't giving up.

"What is there to talk about? I know how you feel about what I did, and I know what I did was right so can we please just drop and move on, I am so over this fight." I said not really but I just wanted him to leave me alone.

"No you don't know how I feel, and I think you know what I mean." He said shutting the bathroom door, shit. That was my only way out, now I have to listen to him babble.

"Oh lord you aren't going to try and spin this a new way?" I said rubbing my temples.

"No, there is only one way I need to spin this, there is a reason I hate what you did, and it took me a while to admit it, but I have to, and you do too before one of us gets the other killed." He said walking toward me the expression on his face changed and I couldn't read it.

"What are you talking about?" I said completely lost for partly I wasn't listening to him and the parts I did catch didn't make sense.

"Ronnie…I'm….in….I'm in love with you…" He said and as I shook my head to make sure I heard what I thought I did, I wasn't sure what I heard.

"You…excuse me what?" I said thinking that if this was a joke it wasn't funny and I was going to KILL who ever told him to do this.

"You heard me," He said and advanced his steps forward towards me I backed up a little and couldn't realize if this was real or not.

"Jax, this isn't funny…" I said as he was now too close for me to be cool calm and collected. I felt his sweatshirt against my exposed skin and I got the shivers. I could smell him and it was intoxicating, I was trying to fight him and being so close but I was losing.

"I'm not trying to be." And without so much as a warning, his lips were crashing down on mine, at first I melted into the feel of them on mine, they were warm and soft and sent waves of pleasure throughout my whole body.

"We can't…" I said breaking the kiss and trying to push him away, he stood there breathless and fighting the urge to do something that felt so natural. I stared at him, and saw the emotion in his face and something in me snapped….I threw myself into his arms and kissed him back this time.

The kiss was intense and passionate; I had never in my life felt anything remotely like this. I had been with a few men in my life, nothing I had ever experienced with any other man was any where near what I was feeling with Jax. His hands on my skin, the way he seemed to just know where and how to touch me, I felt like I he was reading my mind. It wasn't until he laid me on the bed where I was broken from my this blinding feeling that was all over my body, and I felt the weight of my body on the wound on my back. It caused me to inhale sharply.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked now shirtless and out of breath. He was hovering over me, but I had to roll over because the pain was too intense.

"I think it's the pressure from laying on my back…can you grab me a pill from my bag?" I said willing the pain to go away, but it was starting to throb and become overwhelming. Jax came back in with a bottle of water and a pill. He helped me sit up and I took the pill.

"You okay?" He asked sitting down on the bed next to me, and besides being completely mortifed I was okay.

"Yeah the pill should kick in a few minutes." I said taking another drink. I felt like one of us should say something, one of us should confront what just almost happened. I felt his hand on my lower back and he lightly began to rub it, it was actually distracting from some of the throbbing. I was going to say something when Jax's prepaid went off.

"Yeah…she's good. Yeah we will be there in a few." I heard him say and then close the phone, I knew it was Clay and he probably wanted us all at the shop now.

"You want help getting dressed?" Jax asked with a smile. He walked over and pushed some hair out of my face, and I hated that I loved the simple gesture.

"No I'll be all right." I said giving the best fake smile I could.

"I'm gonna go make some calls, make sure Opie's set with the explosives, it will be his first job since he got out of prison and I think he's nervous about it." Jax said as he turned and went out in the livingroom, I was suddenly very nervous and very unsure about what had just happened and what I almost let happen. I had feelings for Jackson Teller since I was seven…but I thought I grew out of them.

I slowly got up and went to my closet, and pulled a black hooded sweat shirt and some dark blue skinny jeans. It was harder to change but I managed. I went back in my bathroom and took out my brush and a hair binder and tried furiously to try and put my hair up in a ponytail but anytime I tried to put my hands back shoot pain went through my back and arms. I was so frustrated I teared up and threw my brush on the counter. I leaned both hand on the counter and put my head down.

"What's wrong?" I heard him ask as he came into the bathroom.

I looked up and the tears spilled out of my eyes. "I can't put my hair back." I said more angry about it than anything.

"Let me help you." He said coming in and picking up the brush, he started to brush it back for me and gathered it in the back of my head and reached for the hair binder. He got it in and tightened it for me.

"Thanks," I said wiping away the tears of frustration.

"You have to get used to people helping you, you're not alone anymore and you never will be, not anymore." He said kissing the base of my neck and it felt good but I was not in the mood.

"We should probably get going." I said fidgeting underneath his stare. He nodded and we headed out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a little note: Some of the dialogue in this chapter is from one of the episodes, and some of it I mixed in there myself. Those of you who know the episodes well will know what is Kurt and the other SOA writers and what is new which is mine.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SOA characters in this story, they all belong to Kurt Sutter, Veronica "Ronnie" Seglar and Gia are my OFC's.**

**Hope you like this one kind of got away from me again….read and review if you don't mind **

We got to the garage and met up with everyone, we all got suited up and ammo and guns and loaded up in the black unmarked van. I wasn't nervous but I was anxious. I wanted somebody's head for wanting to kill Jax and shooting me.

We got to their warehouse, and found that it wasn't heavily guarded. Jax took out the electricity to the building, and Opie cut the phone lines and security alarm wires. I stayed outside with Tig and Juice while the others went in. They were in for a while before we saw them come out, It was Jax and Clay that were headed back towards us, Clay in front of Jax and I saw a figure creep out as Jax walked passed a dumpster, I saw an arm go up and I reacted instantly. I fired two shots and the figure dropped and Jax hit the ground.

"You hit?" I asked as I came up to Jax and Tig covered me while I checked him.

"No, just scared the shit out of me." He said when I knew he was okay I made steps towards the body I did hit and it was rolling around. I kicked the gun out of his range, and kicked him over so I could see who it was.

It was a white man, with NORD tats all over. What the hell was one of Darby's men doing here? I aimed my gun to his head as blood started to spill from his mouth, and I shot twice ending any doubt that he was going to live.

"Let's go, it's time to get out of here." Clay said coming over to me, he has seen what I had done and nodded at me. He guided me with his hand as I failed to move after his first command.

"Count it down." Jax told Opie as we all got in the van. I sat down and put my piece in my lap and just started at it. It had been a while since I had been in the business of killing people, even with the guy in Vegas it wasn't something I had set out to revive from my past, but one I knew would be vital if I was going to fully be a member of this club and take my father's place.

As we pulled away, Opie hit a button and the thunderous boom went off and the orange and red lights filled the night skye, it was almost like watching a how I wanted to feel. I wanted to explode, I wanted to just let all the frustration and anger blow, it was almost therapeutic.

We all went back to the club house and uploaded in the van, and decided that we should all go home, act normal and if possible stop in somewhere and try and get an alibi. Most of us went out for a drink, Clay and Gemma went home and the rest of the guys stayed at the club house.

Jax was glued to my side, and I decided that after what we just did, it was probably better not be alone.

When the local bar closed and it was time to go home, I knew Jax was prepared to come home with me, but he was called away by Clay. He didn't say why but told me he would see me tomorrow. I wasn't however left alone, I was given Juice and that was okay with me, I didn't mind Juice. He was nice, funny, and we had some stuff in common. Plus I knew he wouldn't hover over me like Jax would have and I had so much on my mind.

I set him up on my couch when we got there, and plugged my cell in on the kitchen counter. It has been a long day and I just wanted more pain meds and to get some rest.

I was awake before the sun. I hadn't slept really well, and it wasn't due to my wounds, the pain was surprisingly less than the day before. Still very tender to the touch, but I could now move around a little bit better and wasn't as delicate as I had been the past couple of days.

I left Juice a note letting him know that I had gone into the shop early and that if anyone got there before him, I was leaving my cell with him and telling everyone that I left it at home and sent him back for it. I didn't want to get Juice in trouble, but I needed to get out and do something, if I wasn't still healing I would have gone for a run to clear my head, but being that was out of the question I decided working on the billing and invoices for Teller- Morrow would help me either sort out the things in my head or let me forget about them for a while.

I got to the shop and opened everything up, and started to try and make sense of the mess that I had already cleaned up once. I had resort the invoices into several different piles, and being that the office was small, I had them all over, it was also apart of my brilliant plan to boobie trap it so I wouldn't be bothered.

I was so torn inside. Kissing Jax and being with him like that, more than childhood friends surprisingly wasn't weird to me at all, it wasn't really what was conflicting me. What I couldn't let go was everything else. What if I allowed myself to open my heart to Jax, and we didn't work out, where would that leave the club? He was basically the prince of the Club and who it was designed to go to when Clay steps down, he can't very well be expected to leave and this was my home, and as much as it would kill me I would have to be the one to go. And what about all things that I wasn't supposed to worry about.

My mother was an old lady for ten years before my dad married her. Granted they were high school sweethearts, but what I never got over, but saw more often then not were the business runs. The rule of the club, unwritten of course but seemed to be accepted by everyone was "what happened out on a business run, stayed on the run." As long as it never came back home with them it was acceptable for the Sons to seek out ladies for attention while they were away from home. And yes I grew up mostly around all of this and knew it, but being that I didn't go through love for the first time around the club I wasn't sure that I could be okay with that part of it.

Gia always told me that is why I never had anyone because I never let them close enough, let alone kept them around long enough. I had let one person in before and he completely destroyed my heart, my body and any soul I may have had at one time, was definitely shattered. It took me a long time to recover from that. It took a long time for me to stand alone again and I vowed I would never love again.

And as much I know Jax would never intentionally hurt me, it was the unwritten and unknown things that would happen that frightened me the most.

"Thanks for the note." I heard taking me from my thoughts.

"Thank you for not coming in here yelling at me cause left without waking you, just needed some alone time. I forgot you don't get much of that when you are here." I said placing a new stack of papers on the floor.

"You feeling okay? I brought your pain meds if you need one?" Juice said as he shook the bottle making the pills in rattle.

"I took one this morning when I got up and am okay for now, but can you put them on top of the file cabinet in case I need them later?" I asked motioning with the next stack of papers I was sorting. He smiled and put them up there. "There's breakfast on the bar if you are hungry." I said knowing he was a boy, of course he was hungry.

"Thanks," He smile got bigger and we both heard numerous bike engines pull into the driveway. Juice took off and left me to get back to work. I saw Jax's bike when I came in this morning, and knew he was here but up in his room, and knew now that most of the club was pulling in he would be up soon, I just wasn't sure why I was dreading that so much.

The noise from the boys opening up the big garage doors was enough for me to grab my ipod and turn it up, I just wanted to be left alone, and I knew that wasn't happening so I blocked out as much as I could with my music for the short time I knew it would have to do.

"Morning, you doing okay?" I heard as the battery on my ipod died.

"Morning, yeah I am okay Op." I was happy to see him but I knew I would be answering that same question for the rest of the day and I was already sick of it.

"Whoa!" I heard as I looked up and saw the prospect and Chibs heading for the inside of the sanctuary.

"Take one more step and I will make you into no sack." I said throwing him a look that told him to make her day and do it.

"Sorry…" He said frowning

"What's all this lovie?" Chibs asked as he was looked around. It must have looked like a puzzle or something with the look of confusion I got from him.

"This has taken me four hours to get organized and I am almost done. Until I am done, this is a no walking zone."  
>I said throwing my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head.<p>

"You sure you don't want any help?" Opie asked as he tried not to laugh in my face at me neurotic behavior.

"Sure, you can all go eat the breakfast I bought and leave me to finish up." I said with a smile and batted my eyes, and they all looked and one another and took off for the club house. If there was one thing I knew about my boys was if you want them gone or behaved all you had to do was feed them.

"What's all this?" I heard and looked up.

"I thought I would redecorate." I said shrugging my shoulders and blowing my bangs out of my eyes. He looked amazing, always did. His smile was warm and I could tell he wanted to come in.

"How you feeling?" There it is, that stupid question.

"Better, thanks." I said smiling back. I was enjoying the distance between us though, I wasn't ready to touch him or have him touch me, I still was very tangled inside about what was best for me, for the club and for Jax.

"You got time to talk?" He asked and I knew that look. I didn't want to talk but how was going to tell him that, it would only cause an argument and I didn't have the energy to have a decent one.

"Depends, what's the topic?" I said pretending to be really concentrating on the papers in front of me when I was only half committed to reading it.

"Well I kinda confessed something pretty important to you yesterday, something I have only said to two women in my whole life…and you have yet to say anything about it…" He paused. I didn't have to look at him know to that he was smiling and that he was also nervous, and I suddenly felt like the worst person on the face of the planet.

"I remember, it was a beautiful moment." I said forcing myself to look at him over my shoulder as he had switched doorways for more privacy. I smiled and then returned my eyes to what I was doing.

"Do you have anything to say to me?" He said poking and hinting at me to say it back and I wanted to, but the thought of the words leaving my heart and out into the world, admitting it outloud scared the shit outta me and I didn't think I could do it

"Jax, what exactly is it that you want me to say?" I said turning around to face him, I slowly got up, I had to push on my left arm and it shot pain throughout my back, I made a face and Jax started to come in and I gestured for him to stop.

"How about how you feel? Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?" Jax said, I could tell that he wasn't happy about me keeping my distance right now, and hiding behind the paperwork was a sad excuse that I think he was catching on to.

"Jax, I have always loved you, you me and Op we are like…" I started to explain and he cut me off.

"Cut the bull shit, it's me your talking to. This isn't about you me and Opie. This is about you and me, and the fact that I love you and I know you love me too, but for some reason you are hiding it from me and it, now I wanna know why." He said as all the happiness was draining from him and confusion and hurt was creeping in. I knew after Tara it took a lot for him to say what he was feeling let alone admit what he was feeling but it would have been ten times worse if I would have lied to him about it and then waited for things to go bad to then explain it.

"Jax, I…I…" I said as the tears that has been produced in my stomach were now flooding my eyes.

"Shh, don't cry Ronnie, just tell me what I already know…" He said as he walked into the office, all over my paperwork, I wasn't sure what irritated me more, the fact that he was on what took me five hours to complete or he was making me face emotions I was trying to suppress. "Ronnie, I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it when we touch, and that kiss last night, I have never felt anything like that before, not even with Tara. I don't know what's stopping you from telling me, and I won't push you for now, but just promise me that what I am feeling from you is real, we can work on the words later." He said pushing my chin up towards him so that our eyes met.

"I promise." It was safe enough where I wasn't lying to him or myself, but I didn't have to deal with emotions in my past that I was trying to avoid. He went in to kiss me when a car horn, that was flaring over and over in the background, we both looked out the open office door and saw Gemma pull up.

I let go of Jax and headed out the door, Gemma never pulled up like this something must have been wrong. Clay was walking up to me as Gemma parked.

"Where's the fire baby?" Clay asked as he held out his arms to receive Gemma but stopped just outside of her car door.

"I've trying to call the cell phones and prepaids." Gemma said as she looked over to Jax who was standing behind me.

"What's going on?" Jax asked from there everything started spinning.

I fought tooth and nail to stay back at the shop but neither Clay nor Jax would let me, Jax insisted that I go with, threaten to knock me out and carry me there if I didn't come willingly.

"Where is everyone?" I heard as Gemma say as I was being guided down the hallway by Clay, everyone was on a mission, and I didn't blame them I just felt out of place, extremely uncomfortable.

"Jax…" we all heard as we rounded a corner. And there like a ghost she stood in a white lab coat, hair pulled back and looking beautiful as ever…my heart dropped straight into my stomach.

"Tara?" Jax said and Gemma pulled me near.

"Tara, do you know anything, where are they?" Jax was panicked, nervous and scared, I was surprised he was able to form a sentence. She signaled for everyone to follow her, we went down a hallway and made a right a few feet after that she showed us a room, where Wendy laid motionless.

"Is she?" Clay asked not being able to finish the sentence.

"No, she's resting. She overdosed which cause a major hemorrhage on her uterus." Tara explained not once looking away from Jax. "The tox screens haven't come back but I am pretty sure it was Herroine." Tara said as she waited for more questions.

"My baby, is he?" Jax couldn't bring himself to say the words and I couldn't stand to hear it so I was glad that didn't.

"He's alive but it's not good. Because of the continued drug abuse there is a tear in his abdomen, and they also found a congenital heart defect…" Tara explained before she was interrupted.

"What does that mean?" Gemma asked not liking the way this was going.

"It means he has a hole in his heart." Tara said trying to remain clam.

"Is that from the drugs too?" Clay asked his jaw clenching together.

"No it's congenital, so that means…" Tara started to explain but was interrupted.

"It was passed on genetically." Gemma said feeling a sudden rush of guilt, she knew that her damn heat issues would be a deamon she would never be able to get rid of.

"I can't fucking believe this, I should have kept a better watch over her." Jax said as he started to blame himself, Clay walked over to where I was and put an arm around me and we both watched the scene in front of us.

"Her OBGYN told me that she missed her last three appointments." Tara said making sure devluged all of the information she had.

"He is in surgery now, Dr. Navid is the best we have here at St. Thomas. The surgery he is in right now is trying to repair his tummy. We will wait 24 hours after this surgery, if he stays strong we will go back in to repair the heart. If you don't mind…" Tara asked looking to Jax, I was lost but he knew exactly what she was asking.

"You do whatever you have to." Jax said starting to feel numb from the rush of hurt he was experiencing. I wanted to hold him, tell him things were gonna be okay, but I wasn't sure what to do.

"So if you fix his heart and his belly he will be okay then?" Gemma asked desperately needing some good news.

"I'm not gonna lie, with one or the other problems there is a high risk he will be fine, but the two together Dr. Navid gives him a 20% chance and that is being optimistic…" She said and Jax almost lost it. "Jax I will do everything I can to save your son." She said putting her hand on his.

"His name is Abel." Jax said wiping away at the tears he let slip down his face.

"I want to, I want to help your son." Tara said as she grabbed for her mask. "I will let you know the moment I know something, I'm so sorry Jax." He nodded and watched her walk through the double door. When she was gone, I watched Jax release a few tears, then turn and look at me and Clay.

"Take her and Gemma back to the garage and call Trigger and Bobby, have them meet over at the pool hall." Jax said as he took off down the hallway of the hospital. I looked at Clay and had no words but I knew I had to do something.

"Take Gemma back and make the call, I will stay here with Wendy, someone should be here when she wakes up and I will call as soon as the baby is out of surgery." I said in a tone where not even Clay knew to question me on it. He nodded and gave me a pre paid. I watched them leave as well and suddenly had no idea was I was thinking.

It was hours later when I nurse came out and told me the baby was out of the first surgery and it went well, the baby would be in recovery for the next 24 hours but that immediate family would be able to go in. I called Gemma and had her pass on the message. She told me she was on her way back to the hospital.

I went back into Wendy's room after I called Gemma, and stood at the end of her bed. I was whirling through emotions, I was angry, I was sad, I was disappointed, and I was disgusted. How could she do this to her son? How could she be so selfish, but there was a part of me that felt bad for her. Maybe if she and Jax had worked out and not gotten a divorce maybe she wouldn't have turned back to the drugs.

I was lost in my own thoughts but brought out of them by a moaning sound, Wendy was waking up. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say but I knew in my heart that no one should have to wake up alone after what she just went through, no matter how much it was her fault.

"Ronnie?" Wendy's voice was scratchy and horse she was confused as she looked me over and before I could say anything, her hands went to her now flatter stomach and she panicked.

"OH GOD…MY BABY….Ronnie…." She started to panic.

"He's okay Wendy." I said as I went to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand. I didn't know what I was doing, I should be beating the crap out of her what she almost did to Jax's son but I couldn't be completely cold to her for some reason.

"He's alive?" She asked desperately trying to have some good news.

"Yes, for now. He had a tear in his belly but they fixed that with surgery, they are giving him 24 hours if he pulls through they are also going into to fix the problem with his heart." I said and there was instant relief on her face and through out her body.

"Oh thank god." Wendy said squeezing my hand and calming down. I felt the knots in my stomach start form as I felt like I was in the middle of something terrible and I hated it.

"What you should know is Jax, Gemma and Clay have all been here and know what happened, I just thought you should know before they come back, Gemma is on her way now." I said as the door opened again and a uniform officer and a woman in a suit came in.

"Wendy Teller?" The woman in the suit asked. Wendy looked at me then nodded her head to the woman.

"I'll just be outside." I said as I tried to walk around the bed but Wendy grabbed me back and told me to stay.

"Mrs. Teller, I am Alisha Tyler I am with child protective services, and this officer Mohr. Because of the incident and the drugs in your system I am here to serve you with some news, papers, and information." The woman said reaching into bag and pulling out papers.

"What's this all about?" Wendy asked gripping tighter and tighter to my hand.

"Because of the Heinous nature of what you did combined with the possible charges against you, the state is relieving you of your parental rights. You can try and get them back if you ever get your life together, when the child is healthy it will be put into the child foster care system." The woman said handing over sheet after sheet of paper work.

"Wait, you can't do this!" Wendy cried out.

"She's right, the baby has a father and he is more than capable of taking care of the baby. Him and his family are more than qualified." I said backing Wendy up.

"Where is he?" She asked smugly.

"He and his family are on their way now." I confirmed. The woman pulled out a form and started to fill it out.

"This is a order for paternity, if he turns out to be the father and can prove to be financially and mentally stable the state will gladly provide him all parental rights. Here is my card, the hospital will notify me with the results and then I will submit the paper work. I look forward to hearing from him." She said and started to walk away.

"Wait! What are these charges?" Wendy didn't see any mention of it in the paperwork.

"From what the DA tells me, reckless endangerment of a child and premeditated homicide." The woman said and then excused her and her and the uniform officer left. I flipped open my phone and called Gemma.

I told her about child services and she told me she was going to get a hold of Jax, and that when she got there I had to leave because there was church and I was required to be there. I knew that this had something to do with the trip to Nevada and I knew that it was important.


	12. Chapter 12

**Just a reminder that this is my interpretation of what happens around the storyline….**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the SOA characters or any of the original scenes, I borrow them for the simple pleasure of my own amusement. Gia and Ronnie however are my OFC's and I will claim them.**

"How's the baby?" Clay asked as I came into church late. Everyone was already seated and waiting for me. I was happy to see that Jax's seat was empty; it told me he was at the hospital with Gemma and the baby.

"Not out of the woods, if he pulls through the night he will have surgery again tomorrow to repair his heart." I reported back as I took my seat next to Bobby and Jax's empty chair.

"He's at the hospital; he will meet up with us later." Clay said filling in the details that I wasn't clear on. I nodded and hoped we moved on in topics.

"So what's our next move?" Trigger said aching to get some revenge.

"We have an order from the niners for a gun shipment; we need to get moving on that meeting with Jury as in tomorrow. Bobby called and set it up. I want Ronnie, Juice, Bobby and Chibs to head out there tomorrow afternoon, Jax and I will come out when we can or if we are needed." Clay explained. I knew I had no right to be excited but it had been YEARS since I seen "Uncle Jury" as we all called him back in the day. But it also mean Nevada, which meant I was gonna get to call Gia. I needed her more than ever now.

"Ronnie, you and I need to head back to the hospital, the rest of you I want prep for their trip done by tonight, I want everyone here tonight. Trigg set out the call for Crow eaters and make sure the bar is stocked for tonight." Clay said and adjourned the meeting with the gavel. We all left the room and I headed to the bar to talk to Bobby.

"Hey you got a sec?" I asked him as poured himself a shot.

"What's wrong sweetie?" He asked as he took off his glasses and gave me his full attention.

"I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed about all of this, I don't really have anyone to talk to…" I started, out of all of the guys for some reason aside from Clay and Opie Bobby was always easy to talk to.

"RONNIE! Let's ride!" Clay yelled from the door of the club house.

"Shit." I swore under my breath.

"Hey, we will talk, hang in there kiddo." Bobby said squeezing my arm for some support. I smiled and headed off to meet up with Clay before he came back in to get me. I knew that would be a bad idea.

I hated the smell of hospitals. They always smelled like cleaning supplies and rubber gloves. It made me sick to my stomach and the lights always hurt my eyes. Clay and I got off the elevator on the floor where the baby and Wendy were and as we approached I saw Gemma come out of Wendy's room with a look I had seen on her face from years ago when she taught some Crow eater why not to mess with a SAMCRO old lady, especially the Queen of them all. I hugged Gemma and then started walking to Wendy's room, wanted to make sure Gemma left her alive when Gemma called me back.

"Jax is waiting in the surgery waiting room, Let's go sit with him." She said guiding me away from Wendy's door and pointed in another direction.

We took a series of turns before the floor opened up into a waiting room, and Jax was chewing on his nails looking out the window.

"Any word?" Gemma asked as we all moved over to where he was. I was taken off guard by the question, but waited until they stopped hugging to ask my question.

"Not yet." Jax said and shook hands with Clay then turned to me. He reached out for me and I stepped in to give him a quick hug and as I pulled away he tightened his arms around me to keep me in place. "Where have you been?" He asked as we parted, I had the worst feeling in my stomach and started not to feel good.

"We had church with the club, Clay said you knew about it, why is Abel in surgery again?" I asked knowing that Tara has said that they would wait a full 24 hours before doing the heart surgery.

"I guess his vitals were strong and they decided to take him now." Jax said then taking a deep breath.

"As soon as it's done with and I know he is okay, I will make my way up to Jury's with Clay." He said as if to make sure I would be okay. I wasn't sure why he would need to, it wasn't like I was going there on my own. There were going to be five of us.

"Don't worry about Jury's we will handle that, you need to be here for Abel." I said not sure who I was trying to make feel better. I was starting to feel light headed along with my stomach twirling around and around. I hated hospitals.

"She's right, I already called ahead and Jury knows they are coming." Clay said as he sat down on one of the hospital waiting room chairs, it looked so small around him.

"Well I'm still coming up there; I just need to know my boy is gonna pull through…" And that was all I heard before I had no choice but to run for a bathroom, as he talked I felt the contents of my stomach coming up my throat. I ran and found the bathroom, and to the toilet in just enough time. Before I was done Gemma was behind me holding back my hair.

"Jesus, are you okay?" She said I stopped, and tried to breath.

"Yeah, it hit me out of nowhere." I said and Gemma backed off and came back with towels. "I'll be okay." I said using the towels to wipe my mouth. I had Gemma help me up and I went to the sink.

"You don't throw up randomly because you are fine, what's wrong with you? Are you sick? Good lord are you…" She started to panic and jump to conclusions and I had to stop her before she got started.

"Gemma, you are like my mother but if you finish that sentence so help me god…" I said and saw that she was backing off. I splashed cold water on my face and I felt a little bit better.

"You sure you are okay?" She asked as she took my face in her hands. A motherly touch, something I hadn't had in a long time I closed my eyes and the feel of her soft warm hands on my face and enjoyed the moment.

"Yeah, it's probably because I haven't eaten anything today and I have been taking the pain meds, probably not the smartest thing I have done but I'll be fine." I said as there was a banging on the bathroom door.

"Ma? Is she okay? Ronnie!" A muffled yell from Jax through the door.

"You know if we don't go back out there he will break down the door." Gemma said as she started to fuss with my hair.

"Yeah I know, let's go." I said as I unlocked the door and opened it and Jax fell forward a little.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned and worried.

"Yeah I am fine, Look I better take off if I am gonna meet up with the boys before we head out." I said backing away from the bathroom and in the direction of where the elevators were.

"You have to leave now?" Jax asked he looked a little hurt.

"She's right, I gave them a schedule, they need to stick to it, you sure your okay?" Clay said coming over and putting a protective hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah I am good, I'll call when we get there." I said and heard Gemma clear her throat. "And I will make sure to stop and eat something. Call and let me know when the little guy is out and doing good?" I asked looking to Jax with a slight smile.

"Done." He said as he pulled me back into a hug, this one seemed to linger longer then the first one.

"You make sure those boys take care of you, I will drive out there if I have to young lady." Gemma warned as she hugged me as tightly as Jax did.

"Opie's down in the parking lot by your bike, ride safe and call when you guys get there…" He said with a quick hug and a kiss on the head. I didn't think I needed a escort but I knew better than to argue. I waved and headed off down stairs to meet up with Opie. I wanted to get on the road and get to Nevada, I needed to see Gia, and she was the only one that could help me sort out the mess that was in my head and heart.

"Is it over? Is he okay?" Jax asked frantically as Tara came out of the doubled doors marked 'staff only' it was only moments after Ronnie had left.

"Almost, we repaired his heart, Dr. Navid is closing him up but I wanted to come out and give you the good news." Tara said giving him a big smile, she leaned in for hug but was taken back when Jax turned and hugged Gemma instead.

"Thank god." Clay said as Jax hugged him next. Tara wrapped her arms around herself suddenly feeling alone.

"When can I see him?" Jax asked immediately. He couldn't leave until he saw his little boy and knew his mom would be there with him.

"Probably in five minutes, why don't you come with me and get suited up." Tara said holding out her hand, she was looking for anyway to reconnect with Jax. Jax took her hand kissed his mother and went with Tara.

She took him to room where he put on a gown, washed his hands, and put on a cap. They went inside the smaller room where Abel was lying in his incubator.

"Hey little man…" Jax said as tears started to pour from his eyes.

"Everything looks really good, by morning we will know just exactly how good, but everything points to 100 percent recovery." Tara said as she rubbed Jax's back.

"Thank you Tara, thank you so much." Jax said to hear as he pulled her into a hug. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders knowing his little boy was gonna make it. He felt Tara snuggle her face into his neck like she used to it sent a an all too familiar shiver through his body. He pulled away from her a little, their faces were less than inches from one another and he found his body wanting to kiss her, but he pulled away from her with a smile and went back to his little boy.

"Say Jax, I get off in a couple minutes, can you give me a lift home, my car is acting up…" She said knowing he would help her.

"Yeah, I will send someone to pick it up tomorrow and fix it, I'll be in the waiting room when you are ready." Jax said smiling from ear to ear. He put his hands on the incubator and Tara left the room. Jax spent a few more minutes with Abel and then went out to the waiting room where his mother was anxiously awaiting his return.

"How is he? How does he look?" She asked desperate for an answer. Jax just smiled.

"He looks peaceful, I'm so glad that he is gonna be okay mom." Jax said as Gemma embraced him again, they both let out a huge sigh of relief.

"You wanna go home and shower? I will stay here with him for a while until you come back." Gemma said rubbing his back.

"Um, I'm actually gonna take Tara home, then shower and hit the road, if I leave soon Clay and I will be able to catch up with Ronnie and boys before they get to Jury's." Jax said as he watched his mother's expression change from joy to disbelief. "What?" He said not sure what her problem was now.

"What are you doing Jax? Why are you bringing Tara home?" Gemma said pulling him over to the seats in the waiting room and pushing him down in the chair and she sat next to him.

"I am giving her a ride home; her car isn't working right…what's wrong with that?" Jax said knowing exactly where his mother was going with this.

"I am not sure you have noticed because your focus was where it should have been…on your boy, but that girl is still in love with you and I can tell she wants her hooks back into you." Gemma said warning her son, she knew out of all the weaknesses her son had Tara Knowles was her son's weakest, and in all the time that they were together Jax was never able to say no to Tara let alone get over her.

"So what if she does Ma?" Jax said not realizing how it sounded.

"What about last night? Didn't you tell me you were in love with Ronnie? That she was what you have been looking for and what you needed now? Jackson, you cannot do this to Ronnie…" Gemma started to scolded her son and Jax just shook his head. He loved his mother but she often spent too much of her time on his love life.

"Mom, I do love Ronnie and yes I am in love with Ronnie. I want to be with her, me and Tara are never gonna me together again, Ronnie helped me get over her, there is no way I am going back to Tara…I'm just giving her a ride home that's it." Jax said annoyed that he had to explain himself to his mother; he knew he technically didn't have to but knew she would hound him until he did. It was safer and would save them all sometime if he told her what she needed to know.

"Well good, because Ronnie is perfect for you, and she loves you and if you screw her over with Tara, I know she will leave again…and we just got her back. I need both you." Gemma explained as he son sat back down and took her hand.

"I know mom, I just get her back too…and now that I know she loves me too, there's no way I am going to do anything to screw things up with her…she's…the one." He said hesitating to say it out loud. He confirmed it the other night when they kissed and almost made love, the moment their lips touched he knew she is who had been waiting for. Beside the fact that he felt whole when they were together and the passion he felt when they kissed sealed his heart as hers.

"Good. I'm proud of you, you know…" Gemma said as Jax smiled his charming smile at her. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and they started to talk about stuff that Abel would need when Tara came out with her bag and ready to go.

"Hi Gemma." Tara said carefully, the day Tara left two years ago Gemma told Tara if she ever came back she would make her life a living hell, and by the look she was receiving from her now she knew that wasn't a lie.

"You ready to go?" Jax asked as he got up from the chair.

"Yeah, Ah Gemma I put you on the list of family that is allowed to stay overnight in Abel's room if you want, there is a cot in there, it's nothing fancy but it's better than a chair." Tara said trying to sweeten up Gemma, she was going to need her if she was truly going to get Jax back.

"Thanks." Gemma said as she strode past Tara not even making eye contact with her.

"I'll call when I get there." Jax said as he made his way down the hall towards the elevators.

"She still hates me." Tara said to Jax as the doors opened and they stepped in.

"Well, she's not your biggest fan but she doesn't hate you." Jax said with a smile, he wasn't completely lying but he didn't want Tara to hate his mom either. Even though he wasn't in love with her anymore, she was still very special to him and he didn't want her to hurt.

They got to his bike, and he gave her his helmet to wear, she wrapped her arms around him, and he noticed how she held on to him. He was definitely noticing what his mother was talking about, he felt her lay her head on his back the way she used to back in the day.

"How is it I am the only girl and I am the only one that doesn't have to stop for a potty break?" I asked as we had stopped at a gas station, Opie was the only one besides me who was still on our bikes.

"They may look like bad ass, but they all really are girls." Opie said and as I smiled his frowned. I noticed and knew something was wrong.

"What is it Op?" I asked a little quieter, not one was around us but I knew that Opie never really talked about his feelings and when he did he was very private about it.

"How did you know…never mind." He said almost forgetting who he was talking to. Out of everyone, even Jax and his dad Ronnie always knew when something was wrong, especially when he needed to talk about it but didn't know how.

"It's….Donna, we ain't getting along so well right now…she keeps threatening to leave…take the kids to her mom's…maybe it's for the best you know?" Opie said as he took off his gloves and put them back on again messing with the fingers of them like they didn't fit even though they did.

"Opie, I am the last one to tell anyone advice on Marriage or love…I kinda suck at it, always have…but you don't have to be an expert to know that you and Donna love each other. And you love your kids, I have seen you with them and they adore you. Whatever is going wrong in your marriage, just remember that you and Donna love each other…nothing is more important than that. If things don't work out let it be because you tried everything else, not because you don't love each other anymore. Don't push her out of your life." I said as the guys started to trickle out of the store, Opie and nodded and we ended the conversation there.

"You ladies finally ready?" I asked throwing my leg back over the bike so that I was again straddling Jax's bike.

"Funny, we better get moving, we got road to cover." Bobby said as he got back on his bike. According to protocol I was to be riding in front and then have the guys flank me. But I told Bobby it had been a long time I and I wasn't sure of my way, so I would lead us out of town and then have him and Opie and Trigger take the lead from there.

We were riding through the town on our way out when we all came to a stop sign. Opie was to my left and Juice to my right. I heard Trigger making some sort of Joke when I looked over to my right and Saw a SAMCRO cut and it drew my eyes there, and what I saw shouldn't have shook me but it did. Opie saw that my eyes had landed on something and it desperately had my full attention. Opie followed my eyes and saw what I did.

Jax and Tara. She was on the back of his bike holding him like I had. They got off the bike and went into her house, and I felt like my heart fell all the way into my stomach, it was suddenly hard to breathe, and I wanted to cry, and I never cried. I was so wrapped up in the reality of what I just saw that I didn't notice everyone else took off.

"VERONICA!" I finally heard Op yell my name; I looked at him with moist eyes and took a deep breath.

"OP?" I questioned, I wanted him to tell me I didn't see him with her, tell me I didn't see him just go into her house with her. Tell me that it was a dream and that Jax never told me he loved me we never kissed and I could go back to being alone and by myself but he didn't.

"Let's go." He told me sternly and I revved my engine and let go of the brake and hit the throttle then the gas and took off, he was right behind me, I didn't look back or anywhere but in front of me until we crossed the state line into Nevada.

We got to Jury's club house in the wee hours of the morning and the party was in full swing. There were guys and liquor everywhere and pretty much naked woman walking around. We were welcomed by Jury and his club warmly. I had very few memories of Jury from when we were little but what I did remember was he was always kind to me and always let me sit on his bar. Dad would always take me down and make me go play, but the moment dad would turn his back or leave the room 'Uncle Jury' as I used to call him would hike me back up there, he would even let me walk on it and hand out beers to the guys.

"Come on, let's get some drinks!" Jury said swinging an arm around Opie and I and lead us to the bar. He gave all of us a couple of shots then and I took a beer. I wanted to numb what was going on inside me, I wanted to forget about everything, and the drinks were helping me.

"You okay?" Opie said grabbing my arm as I headed for the doors. I was a little wobbly but I could still hold my own for now.

"Yeah, I just need to be alone and get some air." I said a little glassy eyed when I saw he wasn't convinced I gave him an olive branch, "If I am not back in here in 10 minutes come out and get me okay?" He took a few minutes and then nodded in agreement. He let me go and I went out the doors, to Jax's bike and pulled my cell phone and lit a cigarette. I dialed the number I knew better than my own and waited for her to pick up when she did, I was able to say three little words…

"I need you G…" was all I got out before the tears started.

"Where are you?" She asked me and her voice was like a warm shower after a cold day, or new sheets after you shaved your legs, it was relief to hear her voice.

"Nevada." I told her and then gave her the exact location. I knew she would be here by the time the sun came up, and I couldn't wait. Don't get me wrong I loved my club and I loved my boys but Gia and I were sisters in all the ways that mattered. We had been there for each other through a lot of heavy shit and were always there no matter what. I needed her and I needed her now.

I walked back in the club and things were starting to wined down, guy were starting to pair off with Crow eaters and heading for rooms, some of them were just going to do it where they were. What I didn't expect was to see Opie being lead in the back by one. My heart broke a little because I knew the rule, that he wasn't cheating according to SAMCRO law and it just reminded me even more that being someone's 'old lady' wasn't something I was sure I could handle. Sure what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me but the fact that I had been around this life so long, I would always know and wonder when ever there was business on the road if I was gonna be Donna.

I walked over to the bar where Juice and Jury were drinking and talking, it looked like the safest place at the time.

"Where you been?" Jury asked as he handed me a beer.

"Outside, forgot how amazing the Nevada sky was at twilight, sun should be up in a few hours. You should probably get some rest." I said looking at Juice who was practically falling a sleep on his stool.

"Maybe your right, wake me up when they get here." He said nodding at me and headed back for the empty couch in the next room.

"Surprised your still up." I said then took a long drink from the beer. I wasn't as tipsy as before but I needed a drink and who was I to turn down a good beer.

"Can't sleep, you gonna tell me what this is really all about? Or do I have to be blindsided by Clay?" Jury caught me off guard, and I almost choked on my beer. I knew he was good reading people, but I wasn't expecting this.

"I thought you knew what this was about, the space we need for a while?" I said and honestly that is what I thought we were here for, if there was anything else, I wasn't told which angered me, I was one of the nine, why wasn't I told.

"I see, well kiddo, looks like we are both in for a surprise." He said and my head started spinning, I kept going over what the hell else this could be about, and if I was family wasn't I told? I looked around to see if I could find anyone to talk in a drunken stupor, but they were all 'occupied' in rooms.

Jury and I sat there at the bar, for I wasn't sure how long exactly and talked, caught up where life had taken us over the years, he told me some of the stories of my mom and dad, some good memories from when they would come up and they would all camp. There was laughter and smiling involved and the beer helped a lot too. Before I knew it several motorcycle engines roared outside of the front door and we both frowned.

"Guess they are here. I'm gonna go wake up the guys." I said putting my hand gentle to the side of the old man's face. I felt bad and unprepared. I walked over to the couch and woke up Juice first. They went from room to room and had mental images burned into my brain that I will unfortunately never be able to get out. I was coming back out to the main room when I stopped as heard voices.

"Uncle Jury!" Jax said loudly and practically ran into the older man's open arms. He was then embraced by Clay.

"How are you brother?" Clay asked him.

"Livin, you know." Jury said as he brought them back to the bar kicking his guys that were passed out on the floor to get up. It was time for them all to wake up and pull themselves together. Jury walked behind the bar and passed Jax and Clay both a beer.

"Where's our members?" Jax asked as he looked around and only saw devils and woman scattered around the front room.

"Ronnie went to go wake them all up. She turned out pretty damn gorgeous, huh?" Jury said as the three toasted their drinks in the air, I knew I couldn't stay here much longer but she wasn't ready to face Jax, not yet.

"She looks like her mother." Clay said in a tone that was loving, it made me stop and think what that was all about.

"Looks like you showed our guys a good time, appreciate that brother." Jax said as he took another drink. Jury smiled and took another drink, they three of them started to make small talk and the noise level grew as the men started to wake up and pull themselves together. I leaned my back and head against the wall and tried to find that place where I hid all my strength.

"You okay?" I heard from Opie as he was coming down the hall putting his cut back on. I wasn't happy with him, but before I could retort I heard the fain sound of a engine I had been waiting all night to hear.

"Ronnie…" He said as he saw my face contort trying to listen to make sure. I shh'd him and closed my eyes. When I heard the familiar rumble get a little louder, there was no mistaking who it was. I couldn't contain my excitement anymore, I bolted from where I was and ran into the main room, I would have kept going if Jax hadn't put out his arm and caught me.

"Whoa, where you going?" He asked with a smile. I smiled and pulled myself from his grasp, had to pull a little but I got free and ran out the front door.

"How much pain meds is she on?" Clay asked to Juice who was rubbing his eyes.

"She has only had one since we have been here." Juice said interested in what had me acting differently.

I ran out to the front of the club, the morning Nevada sun feeling warm on my skin, and I shielded my eyes as I ran down the steps and ran out to the road, I looked both ways, and then as I looked back to the right there she was. I smiled so big the corners of my mouth felt like they were going to split. As she got closer I went back up the porch platform and waited, my eyes never leaving her image. The guys came out of the front doors just as she pulled in.

I missed seeing her bike. It was a beautiful midnight blue with gold flakes in it, and on her gas take she had Indian skulls, it was one of the most beautiful choppers she had ever seen.

"Took you long enough." I said trying containing my excitement. I was trying to down play my excitement but it wasn't easy.

"I had a meeting on the way, sorry." She said as she took off her helmet and let her beautiful dark hair cascade down her back.

"Wow." I heard from behind me, it was Juice all I could do was chuckle.

"Come inside." I said as I waved her off the bike and held the door open for her. The rest of them watched as she strode up the stairs and passed them. She was absolutely break taking, black leather pants, vintage def leopard shirt, and leather jacket I think they all fell in love a little bit.

"Um, Ronnie?" I heard as I turned around and my club stood there waiting for answers. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Gia," I said pointing to her then pointed at the club, "Clay, Jax, Juice, Opie, Bobby, Trigger, and Chibbs. SAMCRO" I said pointing to each one of them, I stood there as they all waved in their own way as I said their name, but I noticed that Gia stopped at Juice and her eyes hadn't left his.

"Nice to meet you Gia, Ronnie, you've got about an hour before church." Clay said as even he was still checking her out. I turned back to Gia and had to hide my laughter. She looked at me and winked before she pulled me into her for a hug, I tried to stop her, I hadn't told her about my wounds and they were still really sensitive to the touch and I knew her hugs. But she was too fast for me and I screamed in pain. She instantly pulled me away from her body and anger flashed in her face.

She pulled back my cut and shirt and saw the gauze in the front and then spun me around and saw the one in the back.

"G…it's okay I'm almost healed." I said trying to calm her down. But I could tell she was beyond that now. She grabbed my hand tightly. And looked over to Jury.

"You're place?" She asked and he nodded. "Ladies room?" She said ready to attack. Jury pointed in the back and I whisked away in that direction.

Jax started to come after us, but Clay stopped him. "Give them a minute." He instructed as he turned around and saw Juice's face.

"Juice, pull yourself together man." Clay said and walked over to Jury to talk.


	13. Chapter 13

"Talk, now!" Gia said as she stripped off my cut, and pulled my shirt over my head so that she could see it better.

"It was a through and through, it was cleaned and sealed, it's fine really, just still pretty sore to the touch." I said as I rolled my eyes, she lifted the gauze and saw that I wasn't lying.

"Who?" She demanded the fire in her eyes almost made me scared.

"It's been taken care of." I said crossing my arms. I suddenly felt like a child who got caught stealing out of my mom's purse.

"Veronica, if you don't tell me who…" and I knew I had to tell her or she would rip this place apart. This wasn't how I pictured our first twenty minutes together but I was literally backed into a corner.

"We were at a meeting with Mayans, shit went wrong and I stepped in front of a bullet for Jax…WAIT! GIA!" And before I could even say anymore she had yanked open the bathroom door and was racing back out to the main bar area I grabbed my shirt and she still had my cut in her hands and tried to get to her before she got to Jax.

"Which one of you is Jax?" She said as she threw my cut on the bar, and ripped off her leather jacket.

"Whoa, why don't you just calm down…" I heard as I rounded the corner to see what unfolded next.

"Oh so it's you…" And like in the movie all of a sudden everything slowed down and as I tried to run faster it was like I couldn't. I got there just as Gia shoved Jax so hard he flew back in Opie.

"Whoa! Whoa! FUCKING STOP! G! STOP!" I said putting myself between the two of them a hand on both of their chests, when that didn't prove to be good enough, Gia came forward again and tried to Swing on Jax but we both ducked in time, That is when I felt Jax lunge and I put my whole back against him and pushed back and I saw Juice grab Gia from behind, that was a huge mistake.

"JUICE DON'T!" I yelled as he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her back, and not a second later she had flipped him on his back and had her foot on top of her chest.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! ENOUGH STOP!" I yelled as loud as I could and everyone kinda settled down a little. I still had a hand on Jax and was looking between them.

"What the fuck is your problem? We show you courtesy and you fucking attack me? Do you know who I am?" Jax said coming forward and I put both hands on him and pushed him back.

"Jesus, Jax stop, this is my fault…" I tried to explain as I backed him up but I was interrupted.

"My fucking problem is that you got her shot, she could have died, and I know exactly who you are, the asshole that let her get hurt, and in my book that means you are a dead…" Gia was livid and was about to make a threat I wouldn't be able to protect her from if she said it all the way.

"GIA SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled looking at her forcing her attention from Jax to me. It was hard to talk to her like this but this was way out of hand. Both stopped and just tried to catch their breathing, when it was a little calmer I stood up between the two of them.

"Jax, she's upset, let me handle this." I said to him then turned away.

"G, I know you're mad, but this was no one's fault but my own, I threw myself in front of that bullet and I am the one who fought hard to be at that meeting in the first place. I love you, you are my family, but you have no idea what this life is all about. I have never lied to you before, and I wouldn't start now, this wasn't Jax's fault." I said pointing at the patch of gauze.

I saw drop her guard down a little and I knew she was calming down.

"Fine, I wanna hear him say it." She said catching her breath she was looking past me to Jax.

"What?" I said confused. If she was looking for an apology I don't think she was gonna get one.

"If what you say is true, I want to hear him say it, then we are good." She said waiting with her hands on her hips, I looked over my shoulder to Jax and nodded, he didn't want to do it, but he knew as well as I did this had to stop.

"It's true." He said clenching his jaw. I knew he was still dealing with his own guilt issues still with my shooting and this was something he didn't want to do, but had to.

"Look, I'm sorry, I saw the wounds and I just…" Gia said finally calming all the way down.

"I get it, let's just forget about it." Jax said and they both came forward and shook hands and I felt a little better, although I knew this wasn't over for me with both of them by far.

"Come on Handsome," Gia said as she pulled Juice to his feet. "Sorry about that, misunderstanding." She said shrugging it off.

"Juice," He said nodding to her wiping off his shirt. "Gia" she said and they made their way to bar. It was then that someone whistled from the back of the room and I realized I was still only in my jeans and black bra. I looked around for my shirt when I turned around it was shoved into my body by Jax.

"Guess it's our turn, let's go." He said as he started to walk me to the back.

"It's gonna have to wait, we have business first. You wait here, you put your shirt on, let's go." Clay said getting everything back in order.

"I know you're like my daughter or sister or whatever…but I really wouldn't mind if you left the shirt off." Trigg said with a smile that he normally gave to the crow eaters.

"That's gross." I said as I put my arms in the sleeves and pulled the shirt over my head.

"Ouch!" I heard behind me, Jax had smacked the back of his head hard.

"Sorry Jax, but just cause you got the hots for her, doesn't mean I am any less of a guy still, and the guy in me knows she's fucking hot. I mean did you see her abs…and that v muscle…" Trigg went on and I tried to block him out but it was like a car accident, as much as you didn't want to look or listen you couldn't help your self.

"Bro, you finish that sentence and I will drop you where you stand, she's not just another girl, you know that already, knock it off." Jax said starting to lose patients with his brother, he could be a good sport about other men looking at Ronnie, hell he welcomed it, he knew what he had, but when they started to get graphic about it that's why his blood started to boil. There is no way he would never ever share her, not with anyone.

"Shit!" I just remembered I left my cut on the bar. I turned around to go grab it and it was hanging in my face.

"Don't ever let me catch you without your cut or in someone hands who isn't a club member again." Clay said as he helped me slip it on.

"Sorry Clay." I said and I buttoned up the front three buttons. Not that it mattered the whole club and Jury's had practically seen me topless.

Because we were guests, we had Jury's guys sit around their table, and I had no choice but to stand next to Jax with Bobby on my other side and watch. I felt like I should have been at Jury's table for the lack of knowledge I seemed to have. I was still pissed off that no one had bothered to tell me what this was really all about.

"Our clubs have been lifelong friends, and we have been there in times of need for both clubs. The history between us could never be tainted, and that's why suggest that a patch over happen. If you decide to patch over and come underneath the sons, only expansion and good things will come to you. We can offer you more protection and security."

My heart sank into my stomach, they wanted to patch over Jury's club? I looked over at Jury and I could tell his heart was broken. Jury's boys weren't about the things that SAMCRO was, they were more of a laid back club that really was more about motorcycles and women then that uglier side of the clubs, I was so mad but it was out of my hands. And I hoped that Jury knew that I had nothing to do with this and he could forgive me.

"We hope that all of you decide to hang this reaper on your back and share in our brother hood." Jax laid the cut that was meant for Jury if they all patched. It made my stomach turned and my back started to throb.

"We know you have a lot to think about, we will leave you now. Take all the time you need." Clay said as we all left the room, I was first out.

"Gia," I said as I found her nursing a beer at the bar. I nodded my head towards the door and she followed me out, we were joined by the rest of the club, when I saw everyone was coming outside I pulled Gia over even further from the group. I needed some air and some space.

"What's going on?" Gia asked as I pulled a cigarette, and searched for a lighter, she fired up hers and put it in front of my cig and I inhaled.

"Something that doesn't feel right in every fiber of my being, I will explain later, but I just need a break from them. Hey, look I am sorry about earlier, you know I would never talk to you like that…" I said trying to explain myself and my actions.

"Hey I was past the point of no return; I know you only did that is because I needed to be brought back to calm. It's all good, sorry if I caused problems for you with the club, I just saw red when I saw that you were hurt, you know how I get over you." Gia said as she pulled me to her side.

"I know, and I love you for it, I have a lot to tell you about the club, how long can you stay?" I asked not even wanting to think about her leaving me again, but I knew if I didn't face it now I would be a wreck when it came.

"I don't know, I might be looking for a new place to lay my head, been thinking about getting out, you know, retire early." Gia said as she yawned.

"You drove all night, didn't you?" I said shaking my head, she was still yawning and knew she needed rest.

"JUICE!" I yelled and he jogged over.

"Will you please Take Gia to the back and find her a clean bedroom to rest in, I will come wake you up in a couple hours." I told her, she kissed my forehead and followed Juice into the bar then back to the apartments.

"Ronnie! Get over here!" I heard Clay bellow from across the way. I knew with the events of this morning I had some explaining to do, but I just wasn't in the mood to deal with any of them.

"Yeah?" I asked, I hitched my thumbs in back pockets of my jeans.

"Well, let's start with who the hell is Gia?" Jax said in a tone I didn't much care for.

"Excuse me?" I said trying to smile through it and not deck him in the face.

"Hey, Ronnie, she nearly took Jax's head off this morning, and flipped Juice like he was a pancake, I think that deserves some explanation." Clay said trying to soften the tone of the conversation, he could plainly see that whoever Gia was she was very important to me and that Jax clearly didn't care for her.

"She's family, okay? She reacted the way she did because she loves and cares about me, enough said." I bit back specifically at Jax and his lack of control. I was still fuming at him for hurting me and not even knowing it, and then that he kept the Jury thing from me, I was done worrying about him and what he wanted to know.

"Um, Ronnie…" Clay said looking at me over his sunglasses and I knew I had to give him more.

"Look, we met in Vegas and used to work together, we have looked out for one another for a long time and she has ALWAYS been there for me, helped me through some really bad stuff. She's no threat to the club, unless any of you want box out with her, and then my money it on her." I told them knowing that wasn't enough for them but it was going to have to do for now. I wasn't in the mood to give information when it seemed as if I was deemed worthy enough to important information.

"Can we trust her?" Jax asked seeing that she meant something to me, he softened a little bit I just couldn't believe of all questions from all people that would be the one he chose. I looked over at Opie and he nodded not to bring it up now.

"I do, so if you trust me then there is no reason not to trust her." I said looking back to Clay I couldn't stand the sight of Jax right now; it literally made me sick to my stomach.

"Then she's welcomed, but Ronnie you and I will talk later more about this past of yours." Clay warned me. I took a deep breath and accepted this was his right as my leader.

"Just you and me?" I asked and he nodded and I agreed. Before anything else could be said the doors to Jury's place opened and Jury and most of his guys, with exception of one or two came out behind him and he was wearing the cut.

"Welcome Brotha!" Jax said getting to him first and giving him a hug.

"Call the rest of the boys, patch over party tonight." Clay said to Bobby and Bobby took out his phone gladly with a smile and started making calls. I walked past everyone waiting to welcome the new Sons into the club and headed for the back where Gia was.

I knocked softly on the door and waited for an answer. When I got no answer, I assumed she was sleeping and I went in quietly. She was lying on her side on the bed. I took off my shoes and hung my cut up on a hook on the back of the door, and climbed into bed with her, lying on my side. Within moments she snuggled up behind me and draped her arm over my body and cuddled her face in my neck.

"You okay?" She asked quietly.

"I will be, let's sleep, party tonight." I said as I closed my eyes and listened as our breathing fell in sync and before I knew we were both out.

"Jax, I know that you and Ronnie are kinda a thing right now, but that is the hottest thing I have seen in a while." Juice said as He and Jax stood in the doorway of the room where they knew the two girls had disappeared too hours ago.

"She didn't sleep last night, did she?" Jax asked seriously.

"No, seemed like something was bothering her, but we aren't that close yet so I just let her drink, but don't worry Opie and I kept an eye on her and kept the guys away." Juice said knowing Jax would have asked if he gave him the chance. Jax walked over to the bed where the two girls were cuddled up with one another and he squatted down so that he was face level with her.

"Hey…" He whispered, when she didn't respond, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and smiled as her brown eyes fluttered open.

"What time is it?" She said blinking at him.

"Eight, Clay wants you up and out there for the party." He said moving a hair out of her face. He saw a different look about her, but couldn't place it.

"Give us twenty and we will be out." Ronnie said she rubbed her eyes and yawned. Jax nodded and stood up and walked back to the door. When he was Gone Ronnie sighed and gently rolled over and kissed Gia's head.

"Five more minutes…" She moaned and Ronnie smiled.

"Come on, I have a feeling there is a very interested Son out there waiting for you." Ronnie said seeing how infatuated with Gia from the moment she stepped foot in his eye line. Ronnie thought it was cute really. She had been thinking about the two of them together since the first time she and Juice talked.

Ronnie helped Gia out of bed, both girls stretched and caught sight of themselves in the mirror, and were surprised neither of them cracked it, their hair was a mess, make up everywhere and because of the morning's events, Ronnie's shirt was no longer form fitting, it was stretched out everywhere and she looked like a old bag.

"PLEASE tell me you brought a bag…" Ronnie begged as she closed her eyes and hoped that when she opened them the image before her would have magically changed, but it wasn't.

"A few things…" Gia said riffling through her back pack she threw together a couple of days ago. "Here." She said throwing a black bra at Ronnie.

"Even if I did have your body, no way I would have the balls to wear just this." Ronnie said throwing it back at her.

"Conservative, huh? Okay how about this ya old tom boy!" Gia said tossing Ronnie a plain strapless halter top that hung perfectly with the curves of her body.

The girls quickly changed and combed through their hair, wasn't much they could do without supplies, so a little mascara and lip gloss, and Ronnie put her cut back on and they were out the door, neither one of them needed much to be breath taking, but it always made them feel nice to be able to be girlie once and a while.

Patch over was in full swing when they got to the main room, it was packed with SOA cuts and half naked women everywhere.

"What kind of party is this again?" Gia asked leaning over to Ronnie.

"Patch over, means that this club that we came to has now become one of us, and no longer runs their own shit." I said with bitterness in my tone, I wanted nothing to do with this or the fact that it was forced on Jury.

"Hey Ronnie, Gia, right?" Juice said with a smile on his face and hunger in his eyes as they raked over Gia's beautiful body.

"Juice, what's up?" Ronnie said filling in the blank for Gia and acknowledging Juice in the same process without being obvious.

"Um, I just wanted to know if I could get you something to drink?" Juice asked ONLY looking at Gia, it was different for Ronnie to see a Son chasing a girl, usually all they would have to do is snap their fingers and there would be three or four sweet butts or crow eaters fighting each other for the change at Juice, but he was pursuing her.

"I am thirsty." Gia answered back in the only way that Gia could, she was hungry for some company and Juice was her main choice.

"Go, I'm gonna go find Jury." Ronnie said nodding to the two new love birds and found Clay and Jury drinking and smoking at the far end of the bar.

I made my way over to the bar and my eyes caught with Jax's for a brief moment, he was surrounded by Opie, Jax, and Happy. His smile got bigger as he caught sight of me and I just nodded in his direction and made it double time over to Where Jury and Clay where. I made sure to approach cautiously as not to directly or rudely interrupt them. They were laughing as I approached.

"Ronnie! My baby, come here." Clay said as he put out an arm for me and I cradled myself into his side. I was no where near thrilled to see him, let alone but touched by him, but he was my leader and pretty much my father figure now so the same amount of respect had to be shown, no matter how unhappy I was with him and his decisions at the time.

"You look beautiful Veronica." Jury said as he toasted his beer to me.

"You two are drunk." I said laughing a little. The only time I ever remember seeing these two sensitive or sweet was when they were piss ass drunk.

"I don't have to be drunk to see what a beautiful woman you have turned into. You look so much like your mother…" Jury said as I could tell he was searching his memory bank of a picture of my mother. They were like brother and sister. When my mom died, Jury took it almost as hard as I did.

"Yes." I said plainly and Clay couldn't help but laugh.

"What can I do for you darling?" Clay asked as He handed me a beer.

"I was just gonna see if you needed me any further here in Indian hills, I am supposed to open my office in two weeks and I haven't been able to work on it at all. Mind if I head back at first light?" I asked as I chugged my beer, it hit the spot.

"Not by yourself." He said immediately. This being on the very boarders of Mayan Territory none of them were safe alone.

"I was gonna ride with G." I said watching the response change from doubtful to absolute.

"You ride with another Son or you wait for the rest of us." He demanded.

"Clay…" I tried to plead my case but this judge wasn't going to listen.

"Ronnie…"He warned and knew that tone, there was no talking him out of this and suddenly had the perfect solution.

"Okay, Juice." I said smiling in victory.

"Juice?" Clay asked hoping that I would pick Chibbs, or Jax even. But nope I wanted Gia, and to tell by the way she and Juice were attached at the mouth I wouldn't get one without the other.

"YOU said A SON, you didn't say I had to pick any particular one." I said winking, I kissed his cheek and headed over to the love birds and let them know the plan, and to also go back to the room, I was getting grossed out.

"I get the feeling you are mad at me." As I had my sights on G and Juice I didn't see Jax heading straight for me, and he stopped me in my tracks as he stepped in front of me and blocked my way to G and Juice.

"Why ever would I be mad at you Jax." I said less than amused that my mission had been interrupted.

"Don't know, why don't you tell me why you have been avoiding me at all costs." Jax said desperately trying to keep my eyes on his. Truth was I was trying to be over this thing with Jax, I could only see hurt and me upset a lot if I allowed it to become anything, also this was my way of running from something that felt right. In my history, if it felt right, it usually hurt me in the end.

"I have not been avoiding you, just been a little pre-occupied. What did you need?" I asked crossing my arms in front of my chest. And he gave me the look, I knew that if I didn't come clean about what was wrong I would be stuck in this spot with him the rest of the night.

"I saw you." I simply said. I saw his face contort not thinking about what I was saying.

"Saw me what?" He said smiling as he was sure he was in the clear.

"I saw you Jackson Teller. I saw you with her, she was on your bike, holding you like I did, and the worst part is you went in her house, I might not have been in there with you, but I am pretty sure I know what happened." I said trying to walk around him, I heard him swear as I rounded around him and rolled my eyes.

"Ronnie, wait…" He started to say as he turned me around to face him and for some reason I knew exactly that he was going to say.

"Let me guess Jax, it's not what I think? Even if you didn't sleep with her, what the hell was she doing on the back of your bike? You know what, never mind, it's so not even my business, I mean it's not like we are together or anything, just think it's pretty shitty you ran game on me, after all we have been through and all the history we have together that you would have had a little more respect for me then to play with my emotions. If you wanted to sleep together you could have just said something." I said as I took my arm from his grasp and turned around to walk around.

"Oh I don't think so, you don't get to just dump on me and not let me respond, let's go outside, now." He said as he put his arm around me as not to alarm anyone that might have been watching that we weren't getting along. I for one didn't give a shit who saw what. I was hurt and I was ready to act out.


	14. Chapter 14

** Just wanted to say thank you to demonicseer, amroberts17, and Kassey4221 for the Reviews they are MUCH appreciated! Also wanted to issue a WARNING….

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER DOES HAVE A SOME SEXUAL CONTENT AND SOME FORCED SEXUAL CONTENT (RAPE) IN IT, IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH EITHER OF THESE TOPICS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER. THERE ISN'T A LOT BUT THERE IS SOME.**

"Wanna see my room?" Juice asked as they came up for air and something to drink. Things were heating up between them, and he was ready to show her some of his best work.

"Love to." Gia said as she grabbed her shot that had been waiting for her on the bar and slammed it. Juice smiled at her and took her hand and lead her back to the rooms. He walked to the end of the hall and on the left, next to where she had napped earlier, he opened a door and waited for her to go in first.

"This is your room? Who's room was I in?" She asked wanting to know if she should make an emergency appointment to get vaccinated for everything possible or not.

"That was Jax's room, it was the only other decent room besides mine, and I took the time while you rested to clean my up a little." Juice said ushering him into his. It was nothing like she expected. There were a few girlie pics up on the wall, the bed was made, the floor was clean and he had a couple of older pictures on his night stand. Very plain and very neat.

"Well I will be damned…I clean biker?" Gia said giving juice a dose of the giggles. She took off her jacket and laid it neatly along the arm chair he had sitting by the window.

"Trust me; I catch a lot of shit for it too." Juice said as he opened his small fridge and handed her a beer. Gia gladly took it and took her first drink.

"I bet, but it's a nice change for once." She said winking at him and taking another drink.

"Gia…is there a last name?" Juice asked wanting to know everything she would tell him about her. She seemed very private and normally he would be asking to report back to Clay but this time it was intel he wanted for himself.

"Now that Mr. Juice is privileged information, if I told you, I would definitely have to kill you, and I could think of so much more exciting ways to spend time together." She said as she licked hi lips then ran her tongue around the rim of the bottle.

"Okay, then tell me something about you, other than you are family with Ronnie, we can all see that, tell me something else…" He asked, almost begged he had to know something other than that he was attracted to her, and that there was something about her that he was drawn to.

"Do you like Games Juice?" Gia asked getting a wicked idea in her head.

"I am great games." Juice said smiling getting bigger and bigger.

"Here's a game for you, I will tell you things about me, and you tell me if what I am telling your is truth or fake, you guess right, I lose a article of clothing. You guess wrong, you take something off…what do you say?" Gia said already mentally undressing Juice a little at a time.

"Will you just look at me?" Jax begged as we got outside and I walked way to the end of the porch and stared out at the night sky. The stars were out in full force and they were the only thing that could destract me from Jax and his charm.

"Can you just say what you need to so we can move on?" I said less than thrilled about being roped into talking with him alone. Ever since we were little Jax always had this unspoken power over me.

"Move on? I ain't trying to move nowhere." Jax said cutting off my view in front of me. He would never admit it, but he was just as if not more stubborn than I am.

"Jax…" I started to say as Jax cut me off.

"No, this isn't the talking part yet, you just said a whole lot in there and it's my turn, you listen." He said taking control of the conversation and I wasn't sure why but I was going to humor him. I wasn't trying to use time to talk to Jax about all of this, but it was not too late for all that. I took a deep breath and tried to prepare myself for what I was about to hear.

"Yes, you saw me with Tara, but it's not what you think. After she gave me the news that Abel's surgery went well and said he was going to make a full recovery, I was headed out to meet up here, with the rest of you, She asked me for a ride home." He said pausing, as if he was searching for something else to say, somehow to break the next part to me.

"You can spare me the rest of the details I get it. Are we done?" I said agitated and done with this conversation, the more I felt myself becoming vulnerable and getting angry because of it. I hated showing my weakness, I had only showed it to two people ever in my life and I wasn't proud of it.

"I didn't sleep with her, if that is what you are thinking." He said smiling from ear to ear. I am was now even more infuriated with the fact that he thought all of this was funny.

"Right. Cause everytime I am alone with my first love and the person I am barely over I am just able to hang out…please Jax…spare me the fucking speech. Regardless of what the fuck really happened, it's no concern of mine anymore." I said with more truth then I had intended but I was upset and when I was upset the truth came out like it normally did for someone who was drunk.

"Okay, what do you want to hear, the details? Yeah she kissed me, and I kissed her back, but I stopped it, I am the one who pushed her away, you know why I did it?" He asked me as he grabbed my elbow and whipped me around. I tried to pull myself free but he had a good grip.

"I don't care Jax; I no longer care why you do what you do. We were better off as friends; we never should have taken this leap. Do me a favor would you, just leave me alone." I said I finally pulled myself from his grip and started to walk back towards the entrance to the club when he grabbed me again only this time when he turned me he pinned my back to the wall of the club. "Jax…let me go and get out of my way." I warned as I was done with the conversation and I was done listening to him and all her had to say for right now.

"Bullshit. Your scared. Every time you get scared or rattled you look for the first and easy way out, you have been that was since we were little. Why are you so scared of what we could be together? I…" He started to say and my blood boiled as I realized what he was going to say.

"Don't you dare…" I warned him as I knew what those words meant to me, but I still had no idea what exactly they meant to me. I had been longing to hear those words when we were younger, but we were adults now and we had also been away from one another for so long, I didn't understand the feelings that were coring through my veins any and every time I was around him. And I sure as hell wasn't understanding the physical contact we had the other night, everything about it felt more right than anything I had ever felt in my life, but what and where did that leave me and him? He would always be Jax, the prince and vice president of the SAMCRO, biker royalty and next to carry on the legacy of the club that had been his everything since he was five years old, and I would always be me, who the hell that was to anyone who wasn't me I had no idea.

"I love you Veronica Eileen Seglar. I love you more than I know what to do with, now I lost you once, and I was helpless and couldn't do anything about that, but you have to be some kind of crazy to think that I will let you slip again. Yes, there are some feelings still there with Tara, but they aren't anything like what I feel for you." He said with intensity in his eyes and felt the wind from his breath on my face and I was hoping this was a dream, that this wasn't happening and I wouldn't have to deal with this.

"Jax, you don't love me…you don't know how to love me, hell you don't even know me…you need someone, someone who will be there for you, someone who will hold you when you need it, and fuck you silly when you have the urge. You want someone to take comfort in being at home while you run free. Trust me, I am not the old lady type. I have been outside of the club for along time, and whether you believe it or not, there are people out there who had committed relationships and don't fuck other women while they are away from home." I screamed at him as I back him up a little, it wasn't much but I felt like I had to do something to get some ground back.

"That's what you are worried about? Me fucking around on the road?" He asked now starting to see what he thought was the problem.

"I have been around bikers and this club my whole life, and now I am SAMCRO, don't stand there and pretend like that is the worst your ass could do to me. Don't play me like I am some Crow Eater or sweet butt." I hissed back, I tried to push passed him but before I could think let alone react, he grabbed my face in both hands and planted a kiss on my lips. I struggled beneath his soft warm lips at first but then I couldn't resist any more, I kissed him back with power and passion behind it, I had no idea what I was doing but something inside me snapped and I just lost myself in the feeling, the moment and the passion that was there with Jax in that moment. It was exactly what I was trying not to do.

Gia reached out and ran her finger along his jaw to his lips and that laid in his bed, they were full and hard, he had a man's mouth, but the skin was surprisingly soft she leaned back down and pressed her mouth back on his.

Juice slipped his hands up her back and unhooked her bra and slipped it off her and dropped it to the floor. In an instant he cupped her breasts with both hands and rubbed his thumbs over her nipples. Juice pulled Gia on top of him. She braced her hands on his shoulders and found his mouth with hers. Juice's hands moved between them to feel her folds. Gia gasped a little when she felt him touch her, Juice circled her softly and nothing else mattered in that moment except how good he made her feel.

Gia closed her eyes and rocked against him. As the pleasurable sensations mounted, she wanted nothing more to feel Juice inside of her. He must have sensed her haste because he drew her hands away from her to reach into his pocket.

"I was hoping I would get a chance to use this tonight." He said pulling out a condom.

"I should be offended but right now I want you too much to care." Gia said quickly before her mouth returned to his.

Juice quickly pulled down his boxers and rolled down the condom over his length. He shifted between her legs and she felt the tips of his thick, hard member pressing against her. He entered her in one thrust, using his grip on her ass to push her down onto him. She felt completely surrounded by him and as he urged her to move, she did slowly at first but then more and more she picked up the pace. Juice moaned and Gia felt her orgasm teasing her.

"You feel so good." Juice said in a low growl. His deep voice sent her body into shock waves of pleasure as her peak hit her. She felt Juice tense up underneath her and pleasure hit him too.

Gia collapsed on top of him as they both tried to catch their breath.

"That was…wow…" Juice said still breathing a little heavy.

"Only the beginning." Gia said as she kissed him deeply again and things started to head back towards where they had just been.

Jax rolled over as his body woke him up and reached for Ronnie but found and empty space, he opened his eyes to see if she was somewhere else in the room and it was empty just like his bed. He grabbed his boxers from the floor and put them on and noticed amongst the mess of clothes on the floor hers were gone as well as he cut and her boots.

He quickly got dressed and went out to the main bar area and found everyone just starting to move around. Uncle Jury was at the bar brewing coffee.

"Hey Jury, you seen Ronnie this morning?" He asked leaning in as not to set any alarms off before he knew any were needed.

"No, but I only got up a few minutes ago." Jury said as he popped a couple of aspirin and washed them down with a beer. Jax started to look around the club house for her, he checked in rooms, he checked the office, she was no where to be seen. There was one last place.

"JUICE! OPEN UP!" Jax yelled as he banged on the door. He would have just opened it himself, but Juice has locked the door.

"Do you know what time it is?" Juice asked wrapped in his sheets and barely able to open one eye.

"Ronnie in there with you?" Jax asked knowing if she was upset about what happened between them last night, she would hide anywhere from him.

"Nope, I thought she slept in your room last night?" Juice said rubbing his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Gia asked as she swung the door open wrapped in a towel. Jax saw the appeal of her to Juice, she was a knock out, but his heart belonged to Ronnie, no matter how much she was scared of it.

"I can't find Ronnie, get dressed, both of you." Gia was already getting dressed before Jax issued his order, Juice nodded and closed the door.

"What's up brother?" Opie asked as he slipped on his cut and followed his friend out to the front doors.

"I can't find Ronnie and no one has seen her, not even Gia." Jax said as he pushed open the doors, the moment Opie heard Ronnie's name he was worried. He knew she was upset about the whole Tara thing, and he also knew her soft spot for Jax, he saw the two of them disappear together last night and if she slept with Jax without being okay with Jax and Tara, Ronnie could be in more trouble than any of them realized.

"Shit!" Jax cursed as they got outside and Ronnie bike was gone.

"Come on, let's go get Clay." Op said as he had to pull Jax back in the club house. When they got back through the doors Clay was coming out putting on his cut and Gia and Juice were right behind him.

"We got a problem." Jax said as he quickly approached Clay.

"It's 9:00." Clay said wanting just once to be able to wake up and not have to hear with words 'problem' or 'drama'.

"It's Ronnie." Opie interjected hoping to bring some urgency in the conversation.

"What about Ronnie?" Gia said pushing her way to the front of the circle of men, as soon as she heard her friends name; she was all in no matter what.

"She's missing." Opie said knowing Jax has emotion motivating him.

"What the Fuck do you mean she is missing?" Clay said beating Gia to the punch.

"I woke up this morning and she was gone, her bike is missing from out front." Jax said filling in the details that he could remember. At the moment all he could think about was getting on his bike and finding her.

"Damn it. I told her to wait or take someone with her." Clay cursed his 'daughters' inpatients…they were almost as bad as Jax's.

"What?" Was the general response from everyone, including Jury who had now joined their circle. He heard Ronnie's name and came right over.

"She wanted to go back last night; I told her she had to wait until this morning, but that she HAD to take Gia and Juice with her. Damn that girl!" Clay said rubbing the back of his neck. "Call Gemma, have her head over to her place, see if she made it back yet." Clay ordered Opie and he pulled out the pre-paid and speed dialed Gemma.

"Clay, I'm worried, this is Mayan Territory…if she was riding alone and came across them, there's no way…" Jury started to tell them when Clay cut him off.

"I know." Clay said as he hated to think about what if they got a hold of her.

"Clay, if they have her, you know Alvarez had eyes for her, what if he…" Jax started to say and couldn't finish the sentence as the thought sickened him to the core and his blood started to boil.

"That's it, I can't just sit here." Gia said as she stormed for the front door.

"Juice, stop her." Jax said, there was no way anyone was going anywhere now. They had to locate Ronnie and pray the if Mayans had her she was one still alive and in one piece.

"Stop me? You can't keep me here, I am not SAMCRO." Gia hissed at the thought od Jax giving Juice to hold her back. Ronnie was like a sister to her, there was no way some guy was going to stop her from looking for her.

"You are not the ONLY one who cares about her, we all do. Ronnie is VERY special to this club and every single member here. Now we will find her, but we can't worry about where you are and what you are doing and look for her. You wanna help; just sit tight until we have a plan." Jax explained as calmly as he could, He knew that Ronnie and Gia were close but if they let her go and something happened to her, Ronnie would never forgive any of them.

Gia was pissed but she knew they had a point, she just wanted to be out there doing something. And it was ONLY because she knew Jax loved Ronnie that she allowed him to talk to her. After this was all over she would issue her warning to him, if he ever talked to her like that again, Abel would be the only child he would ever be able to have.

"Gemma was headed over to her place now, she was gonna stop at the shop and Jax's on the way. She said she would call when she knows something." Opie reported back giving the pre-paid back to Jax.

"Okay. Trigg, Juice, Gia, and Chibbs, go out and look for her, but stay within 10 miles of here. If they have her she wouldn't have gotten any further than that. Report back asap." Clay said as they all headed for the door, Jax knew he had to stay with Clay and figure out what they were going to do if suspious were right and they had to deal with Alvarez. It would be easy and depending on what Alavarez had done to Ronnie would and could start a war, one they would have to fight no matter how prepared or not they were.

"Everybody! Church! Now!" Clay and Jury both yelled as everyone headed for the room.

As I came to, the room was dark and my head was throbbing in the front. I slowly opened my eyes and felt the sting in my arms. As I started to wake up I realized that I was hanging from a wooden post. Everything hurt, my ribs, my legs and I could feel blood all over my face. I couldn't remember anything. The last thing I could recall was riding down the highway.

I tried to pull myself up to see if I could tell where I was, or if there was a way out of cuffs they put her in, but they were over the pole and her hands on each side. She wasn't going anywhere without the key. As I tried to pull up on the pole again, hoping to maybe break the links or the actual cuffs, I heard a door open and boots coming down stairs. My heart rate picked up and fear started to build up.

"You're awake…" I heard in a voice that was familiar, but the accent I knew who it was. He came into the limited light that crept into the room from a cracked board the covered a window.

"What do you want?" I was able to mumble as my mouth hurt to talk, they must have worked me over pretty good.

"You know you were beautiful when I met you the first time, and even all beat up and bloody you are still muy bonita." He said as he came towards me and it was then that I realized I was naked except for my underwear and bra. He reached out and stroked the lace on the top of my boy shorts. It took all the strength I had but I brought my leg up to kick him, but he caught my leg and held in place.

"Don't touch me." I spat at him and he smiled.

"I was gonna tell you what I want, but since you are all feisty, I think I am gonna have some fun with you first." He smiled and ordered his goons to pull me down and chain me back up to the bed, which was a dirty flat mattress on the dirt floor. I screamed kicked and yelled until I felt something hit the back of my head and my world went back to black again.

"CLAY! JAX!" Opie bellowed from across the room as he had just hung up the pre-pay. When he had both of their attention he filled them in. "I just heard back from Gemma and she didn't find her at Jax's, the shop, or her place. She's flipping her shit and threatening to come here." Opie said knowing that would piss off Clay and Jax both, but Opie never lied to either of them and he wouldn't start now.

"It's Alvarez, it has to be." Jax spoke up as if he was in a trance, he could only see one thing and one thing only and there was no way anyone was going to tell him different, the scary thing was that everyone else was starting to think that was as well.

"WE FOUND HER BIKE!" Juice yelled as He, Trigg, Chibbs and Gia came back into the club.

"Where?" Jax asked as a rush of hope flooded him throughout his body.

"About 15 miles south of here, no sign of her, bunch of boots and tire marks, but nothing else." Gia reported not liking the turn this was taking. She knew the longer Ronnie was in the wrong hands the more damage was being done.

"Fuck!" Clay hissed as Jax just swallowed his anger inward.

"So what's our move?" Opie wanted to know just exactly how they were going to get her back, he saw the look Alvarez had at the meeting when he saw Ronnie and knew that he would do anything and everything to have her, whether she wanted him or not.

"I'll Alvarez, he co-operates we end this with minimal violence, he doesn't play, we kill him." Clay said as Opie handed him the pre pay.

Amidst the my blackness, I had no sense of time or space, but when I felt a pain in my rear I came to violently. I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside out. I began to scream and try and fight back, but he had men holding down my every limb, the louder I screamed the harder he rammed inside of me, I thought I would pass out from the pain, but unfortunately I wasn't able to and I lived through it even if I was praying for death at that moment.

He kept saying things in Spanish, things I could comprehend. When he was done he kicked my in the stomach and ordered that I be hung back up. I think I was mentally and physically in shock, because things started to go numb. I wasn't a religious person by any means, but all I wanted was for this to be over, all I wanted was to not feel anymore.

"Don't worry, we are almost done." He smirked and he and his goons left me alone again, this time there was total darkness.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I passed out again, I wasn't sure for how long but when I heard them come back I began screaming, kicking and yelling with all my might, I couldn't let them do this to me, not again. When the pinned my legs and tied up my arms I tried biting, doing anything I could to get loose, to get them to drop me, I wasn't sure if my legs would even work if they did put me down, but I would die trying.

Once I was down from the pole, I felt something go around me as I tried to fight, but I hadn't eaten or drank anything in hours and my strength from the beatings and rapings was near to nothing, I was hoisted over a shoulder and carried out.

When we got into the sun, and it pierced my eyes I quickly winced and shoved my head into the blanket. Everything that went numb before was now starting to burn and the pain was overwhelming, my eyes were heavy and they started to close, but not before I heard Alvarez on the phone.

"I heard you lost something…"

"Where is she?" Was all the guys heard from Clay as he was on the pre-paid, you could cut the tension and anticipation in the room with a knife. Everyone wanted answers and wasn't going to wait much longer before they took justice into their own hands.

"Oh you mean your little sweet butt…yeah we found her, on the side of the road, I think she was lost…" Alvarez said as he watched Ronnie being put into a van.

"What do you want?" Clay said with a clenched jaw.

"That's the funny thing about it homes, I got what I wanted already." Alzavez knew he had hit a button and he could hear Clay squeezing the phone and the smile on Alvarez's face widened.

"Where is she, you make me ask again and I swear to god I will skin you alive." Clay almost yelled his voice was no longer calm and he was losing the calm he had that was helping to keep everybody sane. If Clay lost it then everyone would fall apart and things would happen that couldn't be taken back and could have be what ends them.

"I will call you back in twenty minutes and let you know where you can pick up this…wonderful little treat you gave me…and by the way, I catch SAMCRO in my territory again, I don't care if she is the queen of England, wearing a SAMCRO CUT or not, I won't be as….tender." Alvarez said as he hung up on Clay and got on his bike and followed after the van.

As much as Clay wanted to smash the pre-pay he knew he couldn't, if he did Alvarez couldn't call back and whether it was a trick or not, he couldn't risk not getting the location of where they said Ronnie was, it was all they had to go on.

"What happened? Clay, what the hell did he say?" Jax asked chomping at the bit, he had to know what was said.

"He confirmed he had her, supposed to call us back where we can pick her up." Clay said as he threw the phone on the bar, he couldn't hold it anymore before he broke it by crushing it in his hand.

"Jesus…" Opie said as he sighed knowing that it wouldn't be this easy.

"We need a plan, and we need one now." Jax said as he looked to Happy, Chibbs and Trig. He knew out of everyone that they would be the ones that would have no problem pulling the trigger and ending the Mayans if needed.

"Jury, can you take intel on what ammo we are working with? If we are doing this, we ain't doing it without an insurance policy." Clay said taking a deep breath and walked over to the front door.

"Done, boys, let's go." Jury said taking his guys in the back to see what they had and how much of it.

"We gotta be smart about this, trust me no ones emotions are more vested in this than ours, so we gotta make sure that when we walk into this, whether it's an ambush, set up or whatever we need to be sure we get in, get Ronnie and get the hell out of there." Clay said as he gathered the Charming chapter together, they were the ones that were the ones this would fall back on after they got Ronnie back.

"We get it. But Alvarez will get his for this." Jax said making sure that while he was supposed to remain smart, that the sight of revenge was not lost amongst the wits.

"Oh you can be sure of that." Opie said placing a supportive hand on Jax's shoulder; Clay gave him a agreence nod.

As the minutes passed, it felt like hours, everyone was starting to get antsy, people were pacing, twitching, doing whatever they could besides watch the clock, which was hard enough not to do. Finally after a several hours, it was night and the pre-paid began to ring and Clay ran to pick it up.

"Where?" Clay said as he was more than anxious about where the address was.

"Is that anyway to answer a phone? Especially since I brought the beloved package all the way home for you." Alvarez said as he watched his guys pull Ronnie's motionless body from the van and drop her in front of the club house door.

That was all Clay needed and he hung up.

"He brought her back to Charming, let's go!" Clay said as there was a mad dash for the front door. Jax, Opie, Gia and Juice were out right after him, the sound of Harley motors Roaring to life and before anyone could Blink Clay Jax and Opie lead the train back to Charming.

The ride back to Charming felt like it took hours. No matter how much they pushed on their throttles it felt like it took forever.

It was dawn and the sun was starting peak over the horizon making the sky all kinda of purples and oranges, as they all pulled into the Teller-Morrow garage. As soon as they all pulled in they all dumped their bikes and started looking for her.

"Where is she?" Jax yelled as she wasn't in the back of the garage, and she wasn't in the front of the garage or behind any of the customers cars parked out front.

"Oh My fucking god…" They all heard Gia cry as she was racing over to the club house door. None of them took a second thought but raced over to where she was too.

Gia got to her first and kneeled down beside her, she could barely see Ronnie through the tears that were pouring out of her eyes. Ronnie was naked, bloody everywhere and busied all over her body. Jax and Clay were made it over to where the crowd was and Trig and Chibbs had to push them away, there was no way that neither of them could see her like this.

Gia faintly heard the screams of Jax and Clay screaming to be let go, Jax kept screaming the word "no" over and over again.

Gia didn't know how to pick her up, there was blood everywhere, and where they wasn't blood, there were cuts and bruises.

"Somebody get the god damn van!" Juice yelled as Bobby ran for the van. Gia began to slowly pick her best friend up into her arms. Juice came over as Ronnie's limp body began to slip from her from all the blood.

"No! Don't touch her!" Gia screamed through her tears. Juice was a little alarmed but knew it was out of love and attachment; it had nothing to do with Juice.

"Gia, let me help you, we have to get her to St. Thomas, I promise I won't hurt her, just let me help you." Juice said softly and carefully. He saw her hesitation at first but then she looked down at her friends and slowly nodded to allow him to help her.

As they got to their feet with her body the screeching to tires was heard as they started walking.

"Baby? Oh my god….RONNIE!" Clay and Jax ran over as Gemma got there in time to see them carrying Ronnie's limp and bloody body to the van that Bobby pulled up.

"It's okay ma, she's gonna be okay." Jax said trying to comfort his mother, even though he himself was falling apart inside.

"I gotta ride with." Jax told Clay and Gemma. Gemma was too busy falling apart but Clay heard him and nodded, pushing him in the direction of the van. As soon as he was in Bobby took off for St. Thomas.

Gia took off her jacket and placed it over Ronnie's naked body. Jax cradled Ronnie head in his lap, stroking his hand over her blood soaked hair all the way to the hospital. Gia just cradled her hand in hers and cried.


	15. Chapter 15

** Just wanted to say thank you to demonicseer, amroberts17, Kassey4221, go4itgirl, and Irishlass72 for the Reviews they are MUCH appreciated!

**I wanted to thank all of you who pointed out to me that Tig's name isn't "Trigg" I got it, and I promise you that it was purely a typing and spell correct error. Tig is one of my favorites and I apologize if I offended anyone.**

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

The hospital waiting room in ICU was packed, Juice and Gia were still covered in Ronnie's dried blood. Jax, Gemma and Clay were pacing up and down hall ways. They had been waiting there for hours, and there was no word.

"Um, I'm looking for the family of Veronica Seglar?" A man dressed in all Scrubs, a hat and a mask around his neck came out.

"We are her family." Juice said as he stood by Gia, holding her around the wait. He hadn't left her side for a second once he got the hospital.

"Okay, immediate family?" The doctor said having a hard time seeing how all of them needed to know.

"Just tell us doc." Jax spoke up as he grabbed for his mother's hand.

"Okay, here it is. Veronica is in bad shape, but she will survive." The doctor announced and a huge sigh of relief went through out the room.

"Can we see her?" Gemma asked taking a deep breath.

"There are some things you may want to know about her injuries. She has a dislocated shoulder, several bruised ribs, and several cuts all over her body. She suffered a couple of concussions, and was severely dehydrated. We are swabbing her right now, when the kit is done I can let a couple of you in tonight but the rest of you will have to wait until later today." The doctor explained.

"Kit?" Clay asked not understanding what that was. But Gia did as he hands went over her mouth.

"Um, I don't know how to tell you all this, but Veronica was Raped in both her vagina area and her anal. There is sever tearing but should be okay with the stitches we will put in after the rape kit is gone. Our window for catching any evidence is small so we have to do that first. I will come back out when a couple of you can see her." The doctor said and headed back behind the doubled doors.

"Thanks doc." Chibbs said as he watched Jax, Gemma, Clay and Gia all take in the information and fall apart at the sound of it.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

"I can take a few of you in there now if you want, I can give you each five minutes with her before we close down vistors hours for the night." The doctor came back out and told them they could let them in one at a time to visit her.

"I'm not leaving her side." Jax told the doctor.

"I understand, we have cleared the family room that adjoins with hers if any one of you wants to use it, but we have to keep her room clear for tonight. Her wounds will go through several changes throughout the night and there will be meds that need to be administered as well." The doctor gentle explained as he could, he would love to help them out and let them stay in the room with her, but the activity throughout the night no one would get any rest.

"I don't think you heard me…" Jax started to re-explain his stance on the situation, when Gemma and Clay interjected.

"Come here son." Clay said walking Jax a few feet away while Gemma stayed with the doctor.

"I know you want to stay here, and I don't blame you. I would love to stay here too, but we have a problem we have to deal with and I need you with me to do that. We have to get a plan together to deal with Alvarez, what he did to her will not go unanswered and I need you for that. Let Gemma stay here tonight with a couple of the guys, and let's go plan this payback he deserves." Clay said seeing the tears as they poured down Jax's cheeks. Jax knew Clay was right, knew that he needed to help plan how they were going to get revenge for this act against the woman he loved, against the woman who he desperately wanted to make his old lady, the woman he had known his whole life.

"Yeah, I guess you are right, but I wanna go in there to see her first. Leave Sack and Piney here with her and Gemma." Jax said wiping away at his eyes.

"Jax? What are you doing here?" Jax heard as Tara approached him from behind, her smile faded as she saw that Jax was crying. Jax let his emotions take control over him and he shook his head and walked away from her and went back over to where the doctor and Gemma where.

"Just give him some space." Clay said as more of a warning than anything else. Pushed his glasses up on his nose and followed in the direction Jax went. Tara was furious but knew she could find out what was going on, without any of them telling her.

The doctor took Clay, Gemma, Jax, and Gia back to where Ronnie's room in ICU was. There was a glass window into the room but the curtains were pulled so they couldn't go in.

"There is one more thing I want to explain before I take you in one by one. Because of her injuries and the violent nature of her attack, we have her heavily sedated so that she and her wounds have the proper time to heal. She can hear you but her responses may not make any sense or maybe slow due to the drugs we have her on so she can rest, but you can talk to her and she can hear you. You ready?" The doctor asked looking to Jax first. He took a deep breath and nodded then followed the doctor in the room and shut the door leaving Gia, Clay and Gemma outside to wait their turn.

Jax walked in and it took all his strength to hold in his tears. He nodded to the doc that he was okay and watched as the doc left. He pulled up the stool that was against the wall and sat down as close to her bed as he could.

He carefully lifted her hand and put it in his and kissed the back of it lightly as it could.

"Jax…" He heard her mumble and she started to move her head as if she was trying to find him.

"Shhh, Ronnie, I'm right here." He said as he got real close to her face, he didn't want to yell or raise his voice, He stroked the top of her hair gently.

"I'm….sorry…"She mumbled again, her lips was very swollen but she was trying to talk to him, and he knew what she was trying tell him, and all he could think to do was comfort her until she was better to deal with the massive mess that was what happened to her.

"Hey, just relax, your safe now. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered in her ear then kissed her cheek. He stayed there with her until the doc came to get him, he asked for another minute. He said his goodbyes, but promised her that he would be back very soon.

Jax came out of the room and took a deep breath. Part of him was relieved to have touched her, talked to her, been able to have her back under his watch, but in the same instance he saw nothing but red and he wanted Alvarez's head to roll, he wasn't sure how or when but the sooner the better.

"You want to go in next? I gotta talk to my parents for a second?" Jax asked as nicely as he could for the mood he was in, Gia gladly nodded and went in.

Gia walked in and had to take a deep breath. The lull of Ronnie's heart monitor made it all real. It was like panic and chaos when she found her at the club house, it was so rushed that she didn't have a chance to really take in what happened, and now that she had heard what the doctor said and now seeing her only family and friend laying before her helpless and broken it almost broke her in half.

She took the stool and pulled up to the bed like Jax had done and put her hand on her upper leg and whispered her name.

Gia didn't know what to say, there was so much to say but the words wouldn't come, so she just sat there in silence for a little while. Before she knew it, there was a knock at the door giving her a warning that it was time to go.

"Don't worry about anything Ronnie, I will get this sick son of a bitch who did this to you…I will make him suffer and pay for this, I promise." Gia whispered as she kissed Ronnie's cheek.

"Love you G…" G barely heard over a whisper, matter of fact if she wasn't standing so close she might have missed it.

"Love you too…" Gia said and headed out as the doctor cleared his throat and held the door open for her.

"So what's next?" Gia asked with a new demeanor. She knew now that she had seen Ronnie and knew that she was going to be okay that all her focus was now going to be on retaliation for this act.

"Church, but I want you to stay here with Gemma and Sack, stay with Ronnie and make sure everything stays calm and quiet, and you call the second anything changes." Clay said as Jax nodded along in agreement. Gia noticed that he had the same look in his eyes as she did.

"No offense Clay, but I am not going to stay here. I need to be apart of this planning and there is no way that you or anyone else in this club will keep me from it. Now I can either I come with you and help, or I can do it on my own, either way, I am taking this clown out." Gia explained. The conviction in her voice and something about her that Clay knew it would be better to have them on her side then trying to beat her to the punch.

"Fine, you packing?" Clay asked Gemma and sack both, they both nodded and he knew his wife was almost better with a gun then he was and as long as she had protection he was okay with Gia coming with.

"Fine, but no one in or out that isn't a doctor or a nurse." Clay ordered. Clay kissed his wife and Jax kissed his mother and the men with Gia in tow headed out of St. Thomas back to the club house with a mission unlike any they had come across in a long time, maybe ever.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/

The ride back to the clubhouse was silent and sullen. It had been a while since any of them been this down. This attack came out of nowhere and on someone that was special to all of them.

"How is she?" Opie asked as they all piled into the room and took their spots around the table.

"Banged up and bruised but they say she is gonna be just fine, they are keeping her on lots of meds so she can rest and heal a little faster." Jax reported to his lifelong friend, he knew Opie must have been going crazy internally as well he Ronnie was the closest thing to a sister he had and he loved her like one.

"Hap, shut the door, this is a Charming matter and with you and a few others in exception, this situation will be dealt with by the Charming chapter only." Clay said as Happy nodded and closed the door.

"Juice, what is our weapons supply at?" Clay asked. Juice was not only his computer man, he also kept the inventory of the Sons weapons, their personal stash, not the ones that they sold but they personal artillery.

"We have enough, a little short on the ammo, but I am sure any of the charters could help out there. I can get on the phone with Tacoma and Indian Hills right now and be set." Juice reported back. His personal feelings aside Juice was ready to do whatever it took to pay back the Mayans for this. But he couldn't help but sneak looks at Gia. He knew she was really upset and he hated to see the look of "kill" on her face. They had only spent the one night together but for Juice there was something intoxicating about her, made he want to get to know her, unlike a sweet butt where they were only good for one thing and one thing only.

"How do we approach this?" Bobby asked being careful, he was upset by all of this, but he still wanted there to be a club at the end of the day.

"Jax and I will reach out to him, Tig says he has already tried to call the prepay but I wanted to meet first." Clay said taking off his sunglasses and laying them on the table.

"You're gonna fucking let him slide?" Gia piped in almost hysterical.

"Whoa whoa…calm down, I realize that you aren't from here, but we have a way of doing things around here, and walking up to shoot the leader of rival club isn't how we work. Last thing we need is the feds back in town. We have been able to fly under their radar for a long time, with us trying to regroup from the warehouse being burned down, last thing we need to AFI back here. We do this low profile. But make so mistake, Ronnie is my daughter, and this will not go un-answered." Clay said making sure his point was taken. He could see the emotion in Gia's face and knew she was invested in this.

"Now, it's late, most of us have been up for 48 hours, let's get some sleep, church in the morning to make the meeting with Alvarez and figure out how we go about this." Clay said as he slammed down the gavel. He could see drain in the face of all of his members and knew a retaliation was pointless unless they got some rest.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gemma said as she was torn with dealing with Unser's sudden appearance or going to in the room to see what the doctors and nurses who just went in were doing.

"The hospital called with her injuries, she okay?" He asked lowering his voice and touching Gemma's shoulder in comfort.

"She was brutally raped and beaten, how do you think she is?" Gemma snapped back. She was beyond on edge about the whole situation, and she felt helpless. There was nothing she could do but be here for Ronnie and that should have been enough but it wasn't for her.

"Leads?" He knew he shouldn't even ask and knew Gemma wasn't lashing out at him because she was mad at him, so he wanted to know how much trouble to expect.

"Leads? We know who did it, the boys are meeting about it now…" Gemma paused she saw Unser wasn't going to leave it alone, so against her better judgment she let more slip. "God damn Mayans." When she realized what she had let slip she gave Unser a look that told him he wasn't allowed to touch them.

"I heard she was back in town a couple weeks ago from Hale, I have been meaning to come see her…" He said suddenly ridden with guilt about not making the time sooner.

"Well she will be here for a least a week the doctor said." Gemma said feeling a little sympathy for the older man, she had known him since she was a little girl. He was a good man and had been working with SAMCRO since it started out in Charming.

"Call me when she is up for visitors?" He asked her as he turned to leave. She nodded not knowing she actually would or not.

"Hey Gemma, it's late, you look tired, why don't you go lay down in the family room thing, I will stay watch and if the docs come in again or if there is any movement I will come wake you." Prospect said seeing that Gemma could barely stand on her feet. All the anticipation and emotional hysteria took a lot out of her today. She looked at her watch and saw that it was after midnight and decided an hour couldn't hurt her.

"Okay, just an hour and then come wake me." She said as she walked passed him, she grabbed her purse and headed into the room that was there for the time Ronnie would be admitted. She hit the pillow on the bed in the room and was out before she knew it.

Prospect sat outside the room for a little while, occasionally getting up and looking in on the room, and Ronnie was still there laying still and peaceful almost. He checked his phone and he was to wake Gemma up in a few minutes and heard a rustling coming from Ronnie's room, he burst through the room in time to see Ronnie trying to stand up.

"Whoa wait a minute you are supposed to be too drugged to move." He said stuttering as he saw her iv's lying on the bed with blood on them from where she had pulled them out.

"You have two choice prospect, you can help me, or I will make sure you never patch. What's it going to be?" Ronnie asked wincing in pain of trying to stand straight up. He knew she had the authority and power to make it happen and he panicked.

"Okay, Okay…just let me go get Gemma, she's right through that door." He said as he slipped passed her and went in the room to wake Gemma, he was surprised at how fast Gemma got to her feet.

"What the SAMCRO do you think you are doing baby, get back in that bed." Gemma ordered as she came over to help Ronnie back into bed.

"No!" Ronnie yelled back as much as she could with the minimal strength she had left.

"No? Baby, you can barely stand, where do you think you are going?" She asked knowing that Ronnie was stubborn enough she would try and walk right out of the hospital.

"Mom, I have been broken down, I have been made into nothing, I want to go home and get better in my own bed, my own house. Now you can help me, or you can stand there and try and tell me this isn't happening. Please, I just want to go home." Ronnie's eyes filled with tears through the bruises and Gemma knew the guys were gonna kill them for it, but they didn't' have to stand here and watch what she was going through.

"Shift change is in ten minutes, Sack go get the car and meet us the er entrance."  
>Ronnie said Gemma went to the closet and grabbed a standard pair of sweats the hospital gave to everyone. Ronnie told Gemma to hand her the chart.<p>

And just as she thought the discharge papers were stuffed in the back, Ronnie signed them and she and Gemma moved a few feet at a time slowly until they meet the door of the ER. Sack lifted Ronnie in the car and speed off. Ronnie laid down and cried the rest of the way home.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

"You can have the bed; I will sleep in one of the extra rooms." Juice said as he showed Gia to his room. It looked very similar to the one in Indian hills.

"Why would you sleep in another room?" She asked as if it were a shocking question.

"Well I just thought that you might want some privacy and all." Juice said without thinking. He knew she had been through a lot emotionally and might want to sort things out in her head by herself.

"I know you don't know me at all yet Juice, but the last thing I want right now is to be alone. My only family is laying in a hospital bed and I can't do anything about it….stay." Gia said revealing a little of what was going through her head and issued an order at the same time. Juice was secretly happy she asked him to stay, he really could use her company tonight too.

"You want to shower?" He asked her knowing that there wasn't time after they woke up this morning and that was hours ago, she was still wearing the clothes with Ronnie's blood on them.

"Yeah, that would be nice." She said as she followed him to the bathroom that was connected to his room. He started the water for her and she started to undress, he turned to leave and she stopped him and kissed him lightly. When the kiss broke, he looked at her as if he was unsure. She took off his cut and worked his belt until it was loose.

"Wash my back, will ya?" She said and undressed all the way and stepped into the shower, holding the curtain for him, Juice wasn't sure if he should do this, but he knew better than to argue with her. He finished undressing himself and slipped beneath the warm water with her.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

"Don't Gemma, you will just wake them up, and I know none of them had slept." I said as just the pain coursing through my body from getting into bed was almost unbearable. I saw her by the window with the prepay.

"You don't have a say over this one, I listened to you and brought you home, now I have to cover my own butt and let them know before they go there and find you gone." Gemma said leaving the room to talk. She knew this would put them over the edge especially Jax.

Gemma was able to keep her voice down and if I was in any shape I would have got up to eave drop but just breathing was difficult and I knew I was in for a battle when the guys got here, so fighting with Gemma was the less of the two evils I knew were coming.

"You need anything before I wait out front?" Prospect asked nervously, I noticed the way he looked at me, as if it hurt or worse as if he pitied me. The knot in my stomach began to grow and I wanted to crawl inside myself and stay there until I knew I was stronger. I had never been this dependant girl, from the time I was 10 I was able to take care of myself, I could cook, clean and wash my own clothes.

Now in one swift move, in one blink of an eye everything I knew about myself, anything I had in confidence in me was ripped away and smashed into nothing. I felt like everything I spent my whole life building within me was no a black hole of nothing less. I didn't even feel like I was me anymore. I hated the unsteadiness I kept feeling.

"I'm good, thanks." I said as I looked away from him and out the window. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes and willed the tears to stop as I heard the overbearing, he left the room and I knew I didn't have long before the circus arrived and I would have to fake some strength and confidence to fight what was going to be the whole club.

"Where is she!" I heard Jax yell as the front door slammed and the sound alone made me jump causing pain to shoot throughout my body. A few moments later my bedroom door flew open, and came Jax, Clay, Opie, Juice, and Happy.

"Jesus christ!" Jax said the moment he saw me, I saw the same look that Prospect had a few moments but only it was intensified and there was more sadness there.

"Is that how you knock?" I asked pulling the covers up and closer to my body.

"Baby what the fuck are you doing here? You should be at the hospital. Where's the prospect, so help me god Clay…" Jax started and I went into protection mode.

"It was my fucking idea and I made him do it, him and Gemma both, you lay one hand on that Prospect and it will be the last time you see me again." I warned, every word I yelled was like someone was stabbing me all over my legs and between them. My ribs were sore and to sit up alone was excoriating.

"It doesn't matter whose idea it was, he never should have driven you. Come on your going back. Happy…" Clay said hands on hips as he called for one of the guys to help carry me back out.

"Hello? Do all of you have hearing problems? I am not going anywhere, and if any of you touch me so help me god, I will pull the 45 under my pillow and make this ugly. You don't believe me I wish you would try me." I said willing to reach underneath the pillow, and even though where was nothing there; she wouldn't hesitate to bluff them.

"That's it…you, you, stay, the rest of you go play catch the prospect, now!" Gemma said taking all she could from standing outside the room, it was getting too escalated too quick she had no choice but to step in.

"You listen, you both listen and listen good. Neither one of you have any idea what she is going through, hell even I don't know, but I know Ronnie, and I know that if she says she wants to heal at home, where she is comfortable then so fucking be it. Now I get it, everyone is all wound up I and I get that you want to protect her, but she's not a little kid and she isn't helpless…" Gemma lectured between Clay and Jax and I couldn't take it anymore.

"And she's also fucking right here. I appreciate all the concern, but I am fine, I am going to be fine. Now can you all get the fuck out so I can rest?" I said irritated. I didn't mean it towards Gemma she was just caught in the cross fire. I wanted more than anything was to be alone.

"Look we will take this outside, you rest and we will finish this talk later." Clay said deciding that I had a point I needed to rest and the rest of the club need to regroup.

I was left alone for the first time since I woke up in the hospital and I suddenly felt scared and alone. I looked over to the window that over looked down town Charming and forced myself out of bed. I went over to the window and just watched all the people below. Mother's with their kids, couples walking hand in hand, and the store owners busy keeping their establishments clean and ready for more customers. All them, just going about their normal lives, and I started to wonder what that would have been like.

Where would I be right now if things had taken a different turn for me? What if the foster homes I was sent to weren't slums? What if I never stumbled my way into Vegas and met Taylor Reese who brought me to Gia. What if I never had a life of crime in my past? What if I wasn't kidnapped, beaten and raped by a rival MC? What if I would have found a normal guy, had a normal relationship where we fight over bills, and who left the toilet seat up. What if I had kids? What if SAMCRO was never apart of my life? What if my dad hadn't left me power of attorney and I never came back here to Charming and wasn't apart of the club? The questions were endless, and my stomach churned the tears but I swallowed them down every chance I got.

Truth of it was, I was SAMCRO. Always had been SAMCRO and always would be. I could ponder the unknown of "normal" life all I wanted but I was born into this club and whether I liked it or not, this was my life. Gemma, Clay, Jax, Opie, Bobby, Tig, Piney, and Juice were my family. Nothing would ever change that.

A small knock on the bedroom door brought me out of my racing mind and I looked over to see Jax coming through the door and closing it behind him. His whole demeanor was different. He was clam and I could see the love in his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked simply, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his jeans.

"I'm fine." I said still choking back emotion. I didn't know what to say to him, I honestly had no idea what he wanted from me and I had no idea what to say either.

"Can we please talk about this?" He asked as nicely as Jax Teller could, and as much I didn't want to, I knew I had to. I nodded and slowly walked to the bed, I tried to sit down by myself, but it was really hard, so I sucked it up and motioned for Jax to give me his hand, he did and helped me sit. Took me a moment to get comfortable, but once I did I waited for him to start.

"I know there is no way I could understand what you went through and what you are going through, and I am no longer going to sit here and try to understand either, Mom helped me to see that." He said half smiling as we both knew it was more like she pounded it into him.

"Well, that will help." I said back impressed that he would admit that for once he didn't know the right thing to do or say to fix the situation.

"And I don't want you to worry about anything, we already talked about retaliation and it's underway." Jax said grabbing for my hand, I allowed to take it and hold it. He began to run his thumb over the top of it and I just wanted to fall apart.

"I'm not worried." I said a little surprised that it wasn't already taken care of.

"There's something else I need to tell you…" Jax started and my mind immediately when to Gia.

"Is it Gia? Is she okay? Where is she? Did she leave? Oh my god…" I started to panic and I pulled my hand away and started to try and get off the bed.

"Hey…Hey…no, Gia is fine. She is with the others back at the club house getting things ready. I think she is focused on the plan more than anything. Sit back down." He said helping me sit again. I felt horrible because I didn't even bother to check on her. She was my guest, my family and I didn't even bother to make sure she was still in one piece.

"Sounds like G." I said knowing that when it came to things like this, she wouldn't stop until the problem was taken care of, especially since it was me I knew she wouldn't stop until Alvarez was dead. It took me a moment to calm down, but eventually my heart rate came down a little.

"I need you to know something…" He paused and took his eyes from mine and looked down at our hands, I was worried and not at all sure of what he wanted to tell me. "I know that you got spooked about what happen between us out at Indian Hills, and why you left without saying anything."

"Jax…"

"No, this is where you just listen to me, and you hear me, I mean really hear me because I have to say this, and you NEED to hear this." He said with a serious look on his face and I braced myself, I knew what this was about and now had no choice but to do as he said. I was in position to wiggle out of this one, literally.

"I don't know how to tell you what through me when I found out that you had been taken, I was scared…terrified of where you were and who had you. I don't know if I have been that scared since all that stuff went down with Abel. But it was different in a way…like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Like a piece of me was missing. The thought of anyone hurting you, I couldn't hand it. Yes, I have known you since we were born, but it was more than that. Ronnie, since you have come back into my life it's been different. You are different and I feel like when I am with you or around you I am too. I am without you, I never would have gotten over Tara, lord knows if I ever really would have wanted to. But when we started hanging out again, and you helped me with getting over her. When I am with you, I don't even think about her. I don't want anything to do with her, and I hope you can see that. I don't know if destiny is real, but there has to be another reason other than your dad passing that we were brought back together again. You are have been the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thing at night." He said pausing, and I couldn't stop the emotion that was flooding through me at the point. I never thought he would talk about this, feelings, emotions never were a son's strong suit. But something in me was having a hard time accepting it.

"Jax, I know what you are saying in real, and it's really sweet, but can you really tell your self that you would want me after this?" I said losing the battle with my tears and letting them out of my eyes and down my bruised face. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What are you talking about? What because some asshole hurt you?" Jax asked completely flabbergasted by the question, I on the other hand couldn't help but think of it all the time since I came too.

"Face it Jax, my body, inside and out is never going to be what it once was. I have cuts all over, and with the rape, why would you want me when you can have someone who isn't all…" I said losing the courage to say the words.

"What?" He said a flash of anger in his face came in and I wasn't sure why he was angry.

"Used, Ugly, scarred…take your pick." I yelled back at him as I closed my and took my hands back from him and covered my face. I didn't want him looking at me anymore. I had seen myself as Gemma helped me change last night and I saw what the Mayans had done to my body and even I was disgusted, how could I expect him not to be?

"Veronica, I love you. I love you no matter what you look like, you have three heads and I would still see you, I would see my Ronnie, my best friend since I can remember. You will always be beautiful to me, no matter what your body looks like. I don't love you and didn't fall head over heels for you because of the way you look or how your body looked. It's you I am in love with, the person inside. Nothing will ever change that, nothing you can do or say will ever make me love you any less, no matter how hard you push me away or try and to end this, I won't let you. Ronnie you are my other half, with you, I am not VP, I am not John Teller's kid, I am not the next in line to run this crazy club….with you I am Jax and I can't tell you how much that means to me. Ronnie, I love you…I love you so much it hurts sometimes. When you are away from me, I can't even think straight. And I know you love me." Jax said his eyes starting to turn red and moist with emotion as I cried openly. As much as I wanted to I wanted to deny it, I wanted to do what was comfortable and push him away and distract myself from what my feeling were, but I couldn't I loved him, I loved Jax Teller.

"I do…I do love you." I muttered through my tears. I couldn't see anything through my tears but I felt Jax pull me into his arms and hold me, with just enough pressure when he wasn't hurting me but I felt at home in them.


	16. Chapter 16

** Thank you to amroberts17 and Kassey4221for the Reviews they are MUCH appreciated! **

** Song used in this chapter is By Sara Bareilles it's called 'Gravity" **

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"She okay now?" Clay asked as Jax walked into the kitchen where He and the rest of the club were.

"She's okay, but she wants to talk to you before you go. I am gonna stay here with her tonight." Jax said as he took off his cut and hung it on the back of one of the chairs at the table.

"Alright, we need to get back and see how the prep is going, I'm gonna go talk to her then we will head out. You need anything you call." Clay said putting a strong hand on his step son's shoulder. He knew that Jax was dealing with a lot and Ronnie wasn't the only one who mentally all mixed up. Maybe the two of them could work through this together. He was worried but he knew that with Ronnie to help him, Jax would make it through all this drama.

"Alright." Jax said as Gemma came over to him and pulled him into a hug.

Clay walked back to the bedroom, and knocked lightly on the door and then opened the door slowly, he saw her standing by the window with her arms wrapped around her looking out the window.

"How you doing kiddo?" He said as softly as he could. He didn't want to alarm her or scare her.

"I need to talk to you." She said as she slowly limped back over to the bed. He wanted to help her but he knew that would only make her mad.

"You have my full attention." He said coming to stand at the end of the bed as she carefully sat down, he could see the pain on her face and it hurt him inside. She was like his daughter, he treated her as such and to know that this happened to her and that she was in pain and suffering he wanted Alvarez and anyone who touched her or helped take her and keep her against her will would die too.

"Jax told me that things are already underway for my retaliation." Ronnie said making eye contact with Clay for the first time since he entered the room.

"You don't worry about that, We will take care of it, you just focus on getting better, we need you. The club needs you back." Clay said wanting to reach out to her but didn't dare.

"That's what I need to talk to you about. I am not stupid to know that I am in no condition to help with the retaliation, I know that. But I need a favor. One that might cause some waves with the club and definitely Jax." She said as she looked at him with tears in her eyes, he wasn't sure who it hurt more to look at each other, her or him. It was like she was trying to hide from him but he wasn't sure why.

"What is it?" He asked intrigued.

"I need you not to kill Alavarez, at least not yet." Clay had to have just heard her worng.

"Excuse me?" He asked her, he knew he was getting older but up until just now, he had never questioned his hearing until now.

"Leave Alavarez alone. At least for now." Ronnie said looking Clay dead in the eye, he could tell she was in no shape to joke around and from what the doctor said there was no brain damage but he was ready to get a second opinion.

"Why in the hell would I not kill Alvarez?" Clay asked as he tried to not laugh at the audacity of her request, not even the devil himself could stand between him and going through with this retaliation.

"Because I am asking you not to. Just let him sweat it out, he knows you have found me by now and will be expecting your retaliation, he can't have been that stupid to think he could do what he did to me and not have you and all of SAMCRO coming down on his head. He has to have a plan, one that you haven't thought of. Taking action right now would be suicide, who knows what kind of ambush you all would be walking into." She explained and as much as he hated to admit it, she had a point one that none of them had even thought about because of the emotional state of the offense to the club. But there was no way, regardless if she was right of not, they would handle Alavarez, one way or another.

"Look Kiddo, I know you have been through hell and back and that things are going to get worse before they get better for you, but I can't not react to this, he stepped way over a line that can't be taken back." He said knowing it wouldn't make her happy, but there is no way the club would agree to this even if he was able to get them to agree to it.

"Clay you taking action now will only get more members hurt or even worse killed, the club can't handle a war like this right now, not with the warehouse down and income down to almost nothing. Doing anything right now would be the end of the club, just give it a little time." She begged him, he knew that this was going in the direction of waiting for her to be well enough to take care of the problem herself but that wasn't how things were going to go.

"What? Enough time for you to heal and be a part of it. Ronnie…I admire and understand your dedication to revenge but…" Clay tried to explain gently that regardless of what she asked or what reason she came up with to try and get them to hold off, Clay knew it was going to happen.

"Clay…you have no idea how much I need to handle this, please don't take this one from me, You have no idea what I went through out there." Ronnie said as the tears poured from her eyes. He hadn't seen her cry since the day the lost her in the court room to the child protection services. There was something about her in that moment that he couldn't handle anymore.

"Okay, Okay, come here." He said as he pulled her into his arms and allowed her to cry. Ronnie never cried, Ronnie wasn't one for tears, what she was usually do is socially go into herself or push herself away from people until she worked through it, To see her so broken and distraught he couldn't help but crumble.

"Please Clay…please…" She cried into his shoulder, he felt her grip his cut and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay, Okay, I will do my best to hold the club off as long as we can until you are better, but if I am out voted then it's out of my hands, you realize that, right?" Clay said pulling her from his body and making her look him in the eye.

"Make them understand Clay, please." She said as he nodded and pulled her back to him and held her as tight as he could without hurting her. Her sobs slowly subsided and before Clay knew it she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. He tucked her into bed and covered her up.

"Everything okay?" Gemma asked as she and Jax stood up when they saw him come back out.

"I need you to stay here with Sack, you and I we need have church like now." Clay explained as he knew Jax wanted to stay here but Clay was going to need him in church this was not something that could be done without him.

"Clay, I already told you I'm not leaving her." Jax said standing up for his decision. He finally got Ronnie to open up and let him in a little bit and she was letting him be there for her, and he wasn't going to risk her changing that.

"You can come back the moment we are done; besides Gemma needs to get over to the hospital. They are releasing Wendy today and Gemma is gonna make sure she gets on the bus to the rehab center." Clay said sorting things out, he could see the protest in Jax's face but he knew that when Jax heard what he needed to tell everyone.

"I'm gonna go tell her I will be back…" Jax said grabbing his cut and headed for the bedroom.

"She's sleeping; she passed out while crying on my shoulder, let her rest." Clay said catching Jax's arm. Jax resisted and pulled his arm away from Clay instantly but stopped to listen when he heard she had cried herself to sleep.

"Why was she crying that hard?" Jax knew if Clay upset her he would have to chose sides and he knew that only problems could come from that.

"She told me what happened, and the other reason is why we are having church we need to go and talk about it now." Clay said and Jax looked as mother as he told her with his face what he couldn't say with his eyes.

"I will let her know if she wakes up that you will be back, and I promise to call if something happens or changes." Gemma promised as Jax kissed her bye and headed out of Ronnie's place and down to his bike.

"I'll fill you in later, but keep an eye on her." Clay said with more sternness in voice that sent a chill down her back and she knew Clay would tell her later. But with a kiss he was gone and she was left there to ponder and worry.

"Absolutely not!" Bobby shouted as he exhaled his smoke.

"Um, more like Fuck that. We do this now." Gia said as rage boiled over through her. Clay knew this was coming so none of the reactions effected to him, he knew what the outcome to this will be so he just let them vent.

"I know that someone should agree with her, because it's what she wants but I can't this needs to be dealt with now." Jax said as he felt guilty for not siding with her, but he knew in his heart that even if they did wait for her if she would be able to handle of all what would come with this retaliation.

"Are you actually considering this?" Chibbs asked as he saw that the Presidents face was troubled.

"No, I am not, but we have to keep this from her. If she finds out we went against her wishes things could get ugly with her. She needs to heal thinking that there is an end of the god forsaken rainbow. So when we do this, it doesn't get told to her until I or Jax thinks she can handle it and we know how to tell her, agreed?" Clay asked looking around the table. Even seemed to be nodding but Opie.

"You got something you wanna say Op?" Jax asked seeing where Clay's eyes stopped. He was worried about Op's loyalty. Lately he had been leaning pretty far right, with Donna breathing down his neck about being involved with the club at all after getting out of prison, and he and Ronnie being so close Jax knew Opie was going to have the hardest problem keeping something like this from her.

"No, I just don't think it's right we deceive her. Can't we just tell her majority vote won?" He asked knowing he shouldn't be questioning, he wanted to cut Alvarez's head off personally but he wanted Ronnie to share in that vindication with him and the rest of the club.

"It's for the best Op, for the Club and for Ronnie." Piney said as she put his hand on Opie's back. He knew there was no way he could win for her, so he just nodded even though everything about it felt wrong.

"There's one last thing." Gia said speaking up, she kept her eyes on Clay as she spoke and she kept her emotions as collected as possible.

"Go ahead." Clay nodded; Jax was now tuned into her as well.

"I will keep the secret from Ronnie, I will do whatever this club needs to get this revenge for my family, but I want the kill shot, I want the shot that take his life. You guys can do whatever you want after that, but I want that last breath in his lungs, I want that right." Gia explained as more of a statement more than anything, but she thought as a courtesy gesture she would sort of put it as a question.

"I will give you first shot, but you miss and it's fair game. He does NOT leave that situation without ending his life." Clay said. Gia agreed it was only fair, if she missed her shot, which she NEVER did she didn't care who took him out after that. As long as he was dead.

Clay slammed the Gavel down and every scattered to the four corners of the club house and beyond. Jax headed to his bike when Opie called after him.

"You really okay with lying to her?" Opie was conflicted on the inside, he knew if it was him this kind of deception could be a deal breaker for Ronnie, the thing that drives her away for good.

"It's a chance I have to take. She would be too emotional about this one, and we need to handle it now before things get even more out of hand Op." Jax defended. Opie still wasn't convinced. But he nodded anyway.

"Hey can you come sit with her for a little while tomorrow morning? I have to go to the hospital for the boy for a couple hours and I know she wants to see you." Jax asked knowing it would be a struggle for him to get away from Donna.

"Yeah I will be there around 10." Opie said as turned and walked back to the club house. Jax was worried but he knew deep down Opie would do what was best for the club.

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The house was quiet and after some major arguing I made Gemma stay out on the living room while I laid down and rested. I wanted to sleep, I felt the ache in my eyes for rest but every time I closed my eyes, I was back in that basement or warehouse or where ever I was, hanging there, then being beaten and raped, then raped and then beaten.

I didn't mean to jump as I felt the bed sink in and the covers move. Subconsciously I knew it was Jax, I knew he would be back when church was over, but I was still jumpy as fuck.

"It's just me." He whispered in my ear as I felt his skin against mine. I honestly wanted nothing more than not to have him touch me, but there was no way to tell him that without him getting hurt or offended and then that would let to an argument.

He draped his arm over me and tucked his hand under my pillow and pulled me as close as possible to him. He laid his head down next mine and kissed my neck.

"How was church?" I asked doing my best to sound groggy. I could feel the smile on his face as his whiskers ticking my skin.

"Even now you are worried about the club. Baby, sleep. We will talk in the morning." He was brushing me off, which could mean several different things I wasn't sure what it was, which only made my mind race faster, I was cursed with the fact of not being able to sleep and now with my min traveling at the speed of sound.

I wasn't sure when it happened, but I did eventually fall a sleep, letting the blackness take over until I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs and kicking and punching at him as fell out of bed just get away from him.

"RONNIE! IT'S ME! JAX!" He yelled at me, finally grabbing my wrists, and like a veil was lifted from my eyes, I could see him, and I felt the pain in my ribs from all of the moving around and the fall out of bed. And all I could do was cry.

"It's okay, you're safe." Jax said as he pulled me into his arms and tried to make me feel better but I was far from it.

"I'm sorry Jax, I'm so sorry." I said as I pushed myself away from him and struggled to get away, I was still in shock.

"It's okay, Come here." He said slowly coming after me where I was trying to climb into the walls. I just wanted to get out of my own head.

"Please don't." I told him as I grabbed my side. I just wanted to be anywhere but in my own skin. "can you please get my pills, they are on the kitchen counter, there should be bottled water in the fridge." I said pleading with him desperately. The pain wasn't half as bad as my fear at this point.

"I will be right back." He told me and bolted out of my room and down the hallway towards my kitchen, I heard crashing noises and the fridge door slam. It was only a few moments before he came back but it was enough for me to pull myself together, even if it was just a little bit.

"Here." He said handing me to the pills and I downed them and chased them with water. I didn't know what to say as he crouched down in front of me, both hands rubbing my things comfortingly and I felt guilty and ashamed.

"Falshbacks?" He asked fairly.

"Something like that, I am sorry if I punch or kicked you. I honestly didn't know it was you." I said trying to apologize for being so weak and showing I think that might have infuriated me more than the fact that I was now weaker and everyone knew it. My pride was almost diminished and now I had Jax doting after my every need and I didn't feel like a Son any more. I actually for the first time in my life felt like a daughter and I hated it.

"Don't worry about it, you wanna talk about it?" He said his eyes pitting me, looking up at me seeing that I was less than, this was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

"No." I said trying not to be rude but I couldn't talk about it, not now and not with him. He went to lecture me about it, but like my own guardian angel his prepaid went off on the nightstand over by my bed. I decided to just breath and will the pain pills to kick in.

"I gotta go, I am late for the hospital. Opie is on his way…" The way he trailed off and the look on his face told me that he had to leave but thought he couldn't. I got up and walked over to a picture I had on the wall, I pulled it off, put in a combination in the safe and pulled out my dessert eagle and cocked it.

"Go, if Opie is on his way I will be fine until he gets here." I said seeing that he didn't want to do it, but knew that he had to. It was his baby, and Wendy was getting out today and he had to sign paperwork, plus he hadn't seen Abel since he got out of surgery.

I watched him struggle with it for a few minutes, but then started to get dressed. He walked over to me after he grabbed his cut and told me to walk out with him and lock the door behind him. And for the first time in a few days I was left alone. It felt amazing.

Gia was alone in the back room of the club, pulling all the guns out of stock that the club had kept for safe keeping if they ever had to protect the club, for the paypack with Alvarez.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure of a man, and she reacted as her instincts told her and pulled out her gun and swung around and came face to face with Juice at the end of the barrel.

"JESUS JUICE! I could have blown off your fucking head!" Gia scolded him as she put the safety back on and put her gun back in her holster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He said pulling her close and moving some of her long dark brown hair out of her face.

"What are you doing back here?" She asked feeling comfort underneath the feel of his touch.

He was wearing a cocky grin that always made her heart flip.

"I wanted to check on you, we haven't talked much since everything went down, wanted to make sure you were okay." He said not being able to control his urges when he was around her, he was however very worried about her. He knew Ronnie meant the world to her and she had also been keeping her distance from her, not normal for two women that were as close as they were for them to stay away from one another.

"I'm fine, just taking inventory like Clay asked me too." She said putting the last of the guns in a bag and zipping it up.

"This is everything?" He asked her as he saw only the two bags on the bed. He could have sworn there was more.

"Everything that was in this storage and the one in the downstairs room that Tig showed me." She said knowing in her head that this would barely get them through it. Plus there wasn't ammo for half of what they had.

"You wanna head over to See Ronnie, I'm sure she could use some female attention, between Jax and Opie, she has to be going crazy by now." Juice said seeing that something was bothering her and he cared about her, he wanted to see that smile that made him feel alive inside.

"I would actually rather have your attention…" Gia trailed off as she felt an explosion of heat surge through her as his mouth met with hers. She never got tired of the feeling of his tight body pressed up against hers. She never really been that way with any other man before, she was usually just a love em and leave em kinda girl. Used them for what she needed and then kicked them out before the sun came up.

Juice slid off her leather jacket from her shoulders as his hands began to explore her body, when his thumbs found her nipples she inhaled sharply at the sensation that rushed through her.

Juice slipped her shirt from her body, revealing a lacy bar that barely covered her breasts. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Juice's waist. Starting at his neck, she ran her lips and tongue to his stomach, feeling the muscles there quiver.

A low moan escaped Juice's throat. Suddenly he picked her up and lowered her on to the bed.

Gia wanted to feel all of Juice, her fingers quickly found the button on pants and there were undone and off within a few movements. Then his hands moved to the buttons on her jeans, undoing them and sliding down her legs. Gia could feel his hardness throbbing against her stomach.

His hand parted her legs, and he began to stroke her her gently. At his touch Gia arched her back.

"Now." Gia said. Juice kneeled above her grabbing the back of her thighs and pushing her legs open again. Slowly he entered her; he entered her and began to thrust. Juice leaned forward, driving even deeper inside Gia. The intensity of her own needs pushed Gia closer to the edge until she cried out. She felt Juice's body tense and together they found sweet relief.

Once their heart rates slowed down, Juice rolled to his side and pulled Gia with him to his side. He pressed his lips to a tangled of damp hair on her temple.

I walked into the club house in the dead of the afternoon. I had slipped the prospect a couple of her sleeping pills the doctor had given me. It had been three weeks since I came out of the hospital and I felt like a prisoner in my own home. I wasn't even allowed on my own balcony. I was going crazy.

Once I knew the prospect was out, I caught a cab to the club, I was taking a huge chance that I would run into the guys and be yelled at and immediately yanked back to my hell on earth. But the Prospect let it slip that they were out on a run and would be lucky to make it back by tonight before he passed out.

The smell of the club was like fresh ocean air to me. The smell of liquor, pussy, and smoke was all around me, the floor sticky from who knew what, and beer bottles every where.

I walked around a little bit and saw that in the back of the club, there was a very small stage with a guitar that I remembered from my childhood, it was Bobby's. I remember when my dad would go missing or leave me alone for days on end before Gemma or Clay found me and I wouldn't be able to sleep or talk for days I was so scared. But Bobby, he would grab his guitar, let me curl up in his one of his shirts and play and sing me Elvis songs, the one that always put me to sleep was "I can't help falling in love with you."

It had been ages since I sat down at a piano, and although it always made me feel whole, and with everything that happened I DESPERATELY wanted to feel whole again, like half of me wasn't ripped from me.

_Something always brings me back to you…and it never takes too long…. _

I sang softly at first, like taking baby steps for something that I hadn't done in so long, I was almost afraid of the sound that would come out, but I slowly began to press down the ivory keys with my fingers and let more come out.

_It never takes too long….I never wanted anything so much than to down in your love and not feel your rain…_

And as I let more pour out little did I know I was gaining and audience. At first it was just Bobby, but the others heard the music and slowly gathered to see what was going on, soon, the whole Charming Chapter was there standing in awe.

_Set me Free, leave me be. I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I am supposed to be _

_But you're on to me, and all over me…_

As I began to play up the songs speed, I started to feel some thing familiar, something real, something normal, and it felt so amazing.

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground_

_But you're neither friend nor foe thought I can't seem to let you go_

_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me Down…_

_Something always brings me back to you…._

_And it never takes too long…_

I closed my eyes and listened to the hum of the last note on the piano and I could feel them, all of them, standing there staring at me and I suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on me. I hadn't sung in front of anyone but Gia ever. I felt my heart start to race and I slowly turned around but my eyes stayed glue to the floor, something very unlike me.

I heard the scuffle of boots and doors opening and closing. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them to them chest I as saw his white sneakers come into view.

"That was beautiful." He said his husky and raspy tone in a hushed whisper, it used to be the most comforting sound in the world to me, but now I was just hoping he would leave me alone. I felt so vulnerable now, singing and especially that song was like bearing my soul, and I rarely showed it to anyone.

"How long were you all there?" I asked not entirely sure how long they had all been standing there.

"Long enough, Do I wanna know how you got here?" He asked reaching out and holding my pinky finger. I took a deep breath and knew half sack would tell if I didn't.

"I slipped him a few of my sleeping pills the doctor gave me, and took a cab." I said pushing off the chair breaking contact with him and heading to the bar. I took a cig out of the pack that was sitting on the bar. I poured myself a shot of jack and took it like a pro, it burned a little as it went down my throat but I enjoyed it.

"It's only 11." Jax told me as he sat in front of me at the bar. A parental look on his face.

"It's 5 somewhere." I said as I poured another one and took it, this one went down a little easier. "Where are we with the retaliation with Alavarez?" I asked wanting to get plans in the works, I was moving a round a little better, another week and I would be back and ready to go.

"We are working on it, you look tired." Jax said I could tell there was something he wasn't telling me but if Jax was keeping something from me, he wouldn't be able to do it for long.

"I'm fine, when are we having church next?" I said taking another shot then the bottle was taken from me by Chibbs and he walked away winking at me first.

"Tomorrow, Sack says you haven't been eating very much…" Jax started and I knew where this was going and I was over the conversation before it even started.

"Sack is one ball short of having an opinion that matters. He wants to keep the other one he will stay out of my business." I said walking around the bar and headed for outside. I was suddenly not missing this place as much as I thought.

"Ronnie!" I heard as I pushed the club house door open and saw Gemma and Clay over my the office to the garage. I felt trapped, them in front of me and Jax hot on my heals. "He's only doing what he is told; it might be nice if you went a little easy on him." Jax said finally catching up with me.

"No what would be nice is if everyone would stop treating me like I am a prisoner in my own house." I snapped, I didn't mean to but I was feeling suffocated and cornered.

"You know right now, until we take care of Alavarez it's for your safety."

"I can take care of myself Jax. Just because this happened doesn't mean I can't handle my own."

"That's not what I am saying?"

"Really? Then what the hell are you saying Teller?" I was officially in defensive mode and there was no going back now.

"Jesus…" Jax said defeated.

"What's going on?" Gemma asked as she and Clay came over to defuse anything before they drew anymore attention.

"Nothing. Gemma, can you please take me home?" I turned to her trying to save this argument for later, I didn't want to say anything I couldn't take back later on.

"We're not done." Jax interjected giving his mother a look only she would know meant back off.

"For r we are, If your busy Gemma, I can walk." I said being stubborn and difficult and turned on my heals and started for the end of the property.

"I think you two should talk this out…"Gemma said hating seeing the two of us anything but happy. I was half way to the curb when I heard Clay's voice boom out.

"For Christ sake's, I'll take her." Clay shouted as he hated to see everyone doing what they thought was best. He stalked off after Ronnie, and Gemma watched as Jax shook his head and walked off in the other direction. Torn between the two most important men in her life, she decided to stay put and just hope she could figure out what was best for everyone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi Everyone! I am so sorry about the lack of updates but my creativity for this one seems to be running out on me, here is what I am able to come up with for the next update. Hope to have more soon, thank you for all the interest and I will do my best to have more for you soon! 3**

"Ronnie…" Clay said with an exasperated breath, and I stopped him right there.

"Don't worry Clay, I don't wanna talk about it and I won't bring Jax and I's problems to the club anymore. And if it's all the more to you, I would like the ride back to my place to be a silent one." I said as I really wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Even if just for a little while.

Clay grunted and nodded and headed off for my place. The Silence was so comforting I almost fell a sleep before we got to my place.

"Send the Prospect back to the club, someone will take his place in a few hours, that's as nice and as understanding as you are gonna get from me, understand?" He said as more of a statement then anything else. I knew that he was giving me a peace offering and I was very greatful.

"Thank you Clay." I said as I wiped my eyes and got out of the truck and headed straight upstairs. I calmed Sack down and told him that Clay needed him back at the club house for a couple hours, he reluctantly left, and silence once again surrounded me and I was in heaven.

I had to figure out a way to get back to me, I had to figure out a way to reclaim my stake in the club and show them that I wasn't as delicate as everyone was making me out to be. I appreciated their concern and knew that there was validity for them being so over protective, but I needed to feel like I could stand on my own again, I needed to feel like this thing, this rape and kidnapping was not going to be what defined me in the club.

And if I wanted to save what Jax and I had been avoiding and now were trying to be together I was going to have to find a way to be comfortable in my own head and skin again. As I dried off from the hot shower, and it dawned on me like one of those cheesy action films where it takes two hours from the main character to get what the rest of the view audience had gotten in the first twenty minutes.

Alavarez. I had to get my revenge. I had to make him pay for what he had done and for what he had turned me into and made me less of. It was like this clear picture in front of me, but I knew my window was small. I knew Clay had only given me a couple hours to myself so it was now or I would have to sit back and let the boys take care of it, and then I would never get my life back and I would be doomed to continue to push everyone I loved and that loved me away and end up alone and miserable.

I pulled out my laptop and my prepaid and called up a number I hadn't used in a long time. I needed intel and I needed it now.

"She okay?" Gemma asked as he dropped her keys off with her in the office when he got back the to yard. He put his hands on his hips and just looked at his boots.

"I know she wants to be, but her head…it's all…messed up." He said worried, she was like a daughter to him now and he hated that he couldn't help her, wouldn't know where to start even if he wanted to.

"Maybe I will go over there later, see if maybe some girl time will help, wait, what the hell is sack doing back here? Why isn't he with Ronnie?" Gemma said starting to panic.

"Take it easy baby, I told him to come back for a while, give Ronnie a couple of hours to herself…maybe that will help. I'm gonna talk to maybe Chibs or Bobby taking the next shift, maybe she won't try and escape if it's someone she is close with." Clay said as Gemma kissed him gently.

"It's hard for me to see them go through this too…but they love each and they will work it out, and if not I will make them work it out." Gemma said in her usually 'what Gemma wants, Gemma gets' theory. Clay just shook his head and kissed his overprotective but loving wife.

"I just hope it's before it gets one of them killed." Clay said getting up from the bed and heading into their bathroom, he needed a shower and to clear his head.

"You guys still going forward with your Alavarez plan?" Gemma knew she shouldn't be asking about club business, but she couldn't help but be emerged in this retaliation. Mayans crossed a line that none of them could forget or let go. They were all involved in some way or another.

"Yeah shit goes down tomorrow night." Clay answered irritated; he left his wife and went to go find the others. He wanted to make sure things were still in order for tomorrow night. Gemma watched her husband go and couldn't help but feel helpless. She had kept secrets before, hell her and Clay's relationship started in lies, but this time everything was different and she just hoped everything went according to plan and Ronnie never had to find out about the club going behind her back, even if it was for the best.

"Everything ready for tonight?" Clay asked as Gia and Juice walked up to him.

"Yeah Happy should be here in an hour and everything else is in place." Gia said reporting off.

"The meeting with Alavarez is set, we meet tonight at 8:00 under the highway." Juice said as he had just gotten off the phone with Alavarez's number 2 guy.

"Good. Keep this quiet. I will get Tig, Jax and Chibs on board for tonight. Other than that no one knows about tonight…understood?" Clay asked wanting to make sure that this stayed quiet until it didn't. They nodded and then went to prep the van and put everything in place. While Clay went to find the other guys and talk to them about the change in plans and give them the rundown of how tonight's plans were going down.

"Run it down for me one more time." Ronnie said through her ear piece.

"Your window is fifteen minutes; he is alone every day for exactly fifteen minutes between security shift changes with his crew. He is left with one man and he carries a glock on his left side. He is posted just inside the front door, take care of him and Alavarez is all yours." The voice said in her ear piece.

"Thanks Napster, Tell the crew I said Hi and Congrats to Charlie and Sam." Ronnie said before cutting the power to their link and throwing the ear piece and smashing it against the wall. She brought the binoculars to her face and started to survey the perimeter for herself.

She watched as the men the surrounded him, gathered on their bikes and took off, presumably on some errand for their master, leaving one man behind.

"God bless Napster." Ronnie whispered with a wicked half smile on her face. She knew now was the time to get into place.

She got closer and closer until she was right outside his warehouse. She sat right outside the main door and listened. She could hear the pacing of his boots against the concrete floor, letting her know exactly where he was. When he turned and started to walk where his back would be to the front door, she slowly slide the door open and rushed up behind him, her knife securely in her hand, she grabbed his torso and sliced him from ear to ear before he could make a sound. As soon as she felt his body go limp she threw his body to the floor and smiled in the direction of the room where Alavarez was now all by himself.

There was a giddiness in her that she was finding it disturbing and hard to contain. She needed and wanted to this so bad that this was all she could see.

She came to the door, and there he was on a leather couch, watching some Mexican television show, feet propped up, and best of all completely oblivious to her being right behind him.

"Ding Dong Bitch." Ronnie muttered through clenched teeth, as she pressed the barrel of her dessert eagle to the back of his head. She saw his body tense and his hands slowly went up.

"How did you get in here?" He asked quietly.

"Does it matter, I am and I know that I have the next ten minutes to do whatever I want." Ronnie said as she felt drunk with power.

"Now slowly hand me the piece on your right ankle and the shot gun under the couch, you so much as think about touching the triggers on either of them and the last thing you will ever see will be your brains as they explode through your eyeballs." Ronnie warned as she started to shake, she so badly wanted to just blow him away, but she knew that was too easy. Too painless. She wanted it to be as slow and painful as possible, just like what he put her through.

"Okay, okay. Here." He slowly passed her both the weapons then continued to stay completely still, as she came around the side of him.

"I would ask you if you had any last words, but I honestly just don't give a shit." Ronnie said as she pulled the hammer back and squeezed the butt of the gun with just the right pressure.

"I have been waiting for you to make your move…thought it would have been sooner then now." He said almost taunting her.

And that was the wrong thing to say, she fired off a shot into his upper thigh, right into one of the femoral artery. She felt an instant relief as she saw the blood begin to poor from his thigh…the screams of pain were like icing on the cake. She came around to the front of him. She pointed the gun at his other inter thigh and fired off another shot in the exactly same place, and she was elated as the blood began to poor from his other leg. She looked down at her watch…she had five minutes to finish him and get out of there, before they showed up.

"Please…don't do this, I will give you whatever you want…I didn't kill you, don't take me from my family." He begged and pleaded with her, he bloody hands clasped in a praying motion, begging her for mercy, but even if she was feeling generous, she had already shot him twice in main arteries, he would be dead in a few minutes anyway.

She had no pitty for him, what he allowed to happen to her as well as what he did to her, there was no way this was anything but what was right.

"What you did to me was worse then what I am doing to you. In a couple of minutes, it will be gone for you, the pain will subside and there will be nothing. I have to live with the constant reminder of what you did to me. What you allowed your crew to do to me. Anytime I close my eyes, anytime anyone touches me, I relieve every single aweful moment, and I can't stand to be in my own skin. I can't stand to be around the people I love the most because of what you did to me, I will never be the person they knew. So you should feel lucky, I am ending all of it for you." She watched as his eye lids became heavy, and he started to drift off…and she knew she should leave, but she wanted to see it, she wanted to see him die.

She watched, as his breathing slowed, and his chest finally stopped moving and everything became so still. He was dead.

She felt the tears fell softly on her cheeks, and she could suddenly breath so clearly. The weight that was on her shoulders and soul were now lift and she felt so good. Her revelation moment was however cut short as she heard the rumble of motorcycles engines pull up outside. She took a deep breath and looked for the back exit door.

She found one. It wasn't the easy route to bike, but she got there and rode off back to her place. If the guys hadn't noticed she was gone by now, they would soon.


End file.
